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Why do i or others have trouble making eye contact?

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posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 08:44 AM
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OP,
One common cause of your problem is low blood sugar or hypoglycemia (search Google for hypoglycemia).
Low blood sugar is caused by weak adrenal glands, overconsumption of simple carbohydrates (sugars), overproduction of insulin, etc. It has been established now that artificial sweetners are also a culprit. Sugar robs the body and brain of oxygen and other necessary nutrients.
Some of the mental symptoms are:
-anxiety
-phobias
-nervousness
-inability to concentrate
-insomnia (can't shut off thoughts)
-unsocial, asocial, anti-social behavior
-nightmares
-restlessness

Cutting back on sugar consumption will alleviate most symptoms. Check it out; hope this helps.
Be careful of "syndrome-itis" and self-diagnosis, though. They can lead to more confusion and worry, and no solutions. I have suffered from hypoglycemia in the past, and have found that changing my eating habits along with taking a good B-complex supplement does wonders in a short time for me!




posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 09:14 AM
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OP, we see ourselves in other people, first learn to look at yourself open and honestly and the rest will just fall in place.

Eyes are the the windows to the soul, and obviously you have some mending that needs to be done to your soul.

My recommendation would be visiting an Ibogaine clinic in Vancouver so you can get a better understanding of what exactly has you in its grip, then take the necessary healing steps from there.


Good Luck & Peace

[edit on 25-1-2009 by TheRealDonPedros]



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 09:24 AM
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Originally posted by TheSingularity
@amari, I did the iodine sufficiency therapy as well. Iodine really does make me feel more "solid" and healthy.

@David, Interestingly enough, hypothyroidism is one of the ailments that sometimes goes with AS.

Back to anti-social behavior. I wonder if the reason I feel better late at night is because that's when I finally am away from other people and feel free to be myself... or something. It's like being around others is too difficult and takes too much work and being by myself is just so much easier.


Many humans as you know carry negative energy with them and you can actually feel it when they are near. When listening to others and their problems it can drag you down mentally. So the solution is to get away and recharge your batteries sort of speak.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 09:59 AM
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i concentrate better if i am not having to interpret the facial expressions of the person i am talking to. So if we are discussing things that are "deep", or requrie introspection, i will likely be looking over your shoulder at a blank spot on the wall.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 10:49 AM
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I haven't read the whole thread, so forgive me if I'm repeating...
In China too, it's considered rude to look into someone's eyes during normal business transactions, such as buying something in a shop. It's also considered pointless to say thank you when transacting business. So it's normal, in a cyber cafe say- to slap your money down, get given a card and walk off, with no words or eye contact exchanged.

When I first got here I found that really disconcerting. I will only avoid eye contact with someone if I hate them. If they've repeatedly abused my trust to the point where I can't stand them I won't look them in the eye.
It took me a long while to get used to it here. Now, it's second nature. I like it. It seems rude to Europeans but it isn't. It's the opposite if anything.

You seem like a reasonable guy. We all have our hang ups. Most of us, for example, would not have a photo of ourseves as an avatar. To me that would be a big invasion of privacy. But you're fine with it.

I would say you suffer from an extreme sensitivity to others energy fields. You may be an empath, google it. Also, yes, it could be alleviated with diet. Maybe try lots of dark leafy greens. Seriously, they can transform a person.

What do you fear? Is it what you see in others, or what others may see in you?







[edit on 25-1-2009 by HiAliens]



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 12:58 PM
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Just because you are able to post on an internet thread does not mean you can't have Asperger's. Many people with AS hold very public positions. Debilitating social anxiety is not a must to have Asperger's. I don't think any of us here are qualified to give a diagnosis based on a few posts and I would hate to discourage David from looking at any avenue that might help.

Symptoms of Asperger's can range from very mild to very severe. Most people who have AS do not have every symptom listed. It's like taking all the symptoms, putting them in a bag, and grabbing a handful out.

Even if you feel you don't have AS, I would encourage you to look at some of the ideas given on Asperger sites. There are suggestions there that might help you with your no-eye-contact issue (or the other symptoms you mentioned being alike). Good info even for people without a Spectrum disorder!

I have a very close loved one who has pretty severe AS. If anyone wants to U2U me on this, I'll be glad to share.

_________________________


I find that I can usually maintain eye contact fairly well (I have to glance away every little bit) if I am listening to someone. When I am the one doing the talking, it's very hard to keep eye contact. I have a hard time concentrating on what I'm going to say if I'm looking at someone. My friends and family seem to not notice or at least they are used to it.

When I am in a more formal setting (such as an interview) and it is my turn to speak, I pause for a moment and look at a fixed spot while gathering my thoughts. I can then return my gaze back to the other person while I am talking. Any time I feel I need to look away, I always look back to the same fixed spot, which seems better than having my eyes roving around the room. I like to believe this comes across as thinking before speaking and carefully choosing my words. This also helps me to feel as if I'm controlling the pace of the conversation, which gives me more confidence/power. And that's not bad to have in an interview.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 01:31 PM
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reply to post by David9176
 


Hi David,
As soon as I saw your headline I had to respond. My boy, who is 10, has been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. It is a high functioning form of autism. He is highly intelligent, his IQ was just tested at verbal 104 and non-verbal at 121. Wow, shocked the heck outta me, but I digress a little. Aspergers symptoms can be repetitive noises, hand flapping or a repetitive gesture when excited, monologuing, very focused on one particular subject of interest, Lack of eye contact, sensory issues, lack of focus or attention on a subject, lack of social skills...It can go on. But I found that he really, really, has a hard time looking anybody in the eye directly for more than a second or so. I really used to get upset when I talked to him that he didnt look me in the eye, I have had to just accept and get used to it.


I have found that autism isnt as rare as most people think, 1 in 150 have some form of it. My wife thinks that I have it just undiagnosed, and I can see some similarities but I digress again. Just wanted you to know. Here is a link if you want to check it out.

Autism 101



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 01:38 PM
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i often wonder that myself why i dont make eye contact with others. they say the eyes are the window to the soul maybe if you try to look at that persons eyes you see what you dont want to see or feel...



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 01:57 PM
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I didn't read the whole thread, so if someone else has written this then maybe more conformation ?

Not being able to look someone in the eye is a sign of "no self confidence" or a lack of.

The eyes are a window to our spirit. In doing any type of communicating people need to look each other in the eye.

I'm not talking about a contest in eye contact, you will just have to figure it out.

The bullies in this world, school, business or street thug want you to look away, it's a type of playing chicken game.

Roper



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 02:50 PM
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Its a common symptom of social anxiety disorder (aka shyness)
I suffer from it as well



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 02:55 PM
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I somehow have the same problem although not that sever. I can look at my partners or friends without a problem.

Thing is, the majority of people that I look in the eyes for a short period seem so 'empty'. Don't know, but when I look someone in the eyes I kind of know for 90% if that person is worth my attention or not. If they're fake/empty/arrogant they can take a hike
.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 03:02 PM
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reply to post by David9176
 


I too have trouble looking at others directly in the eye. I feel strange when I do. Even when relatives get close to me and hug me or something I tend to stay away. Maybe its because I'm a teen. But if I see someone of the oposite sex, I find it alot easier to look in their eyes. I remember hearing that the Eyes are a scope into someone's soul. Star and flag.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 03:10 PM
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reply to post by David9176
 



When I was a child I used to have difficulty looking people directly in the eye. I worked on it and now enjoy making strong eye contact with people I am speaking with. There is a lot of valuable non-verbal communication that happens with eye contact.

Work on it with baby steps...start by focusing on the bridge of the nose between the eyes..or maybe the eyebrows...people rarely can tell the difference and then work your way up to holding actual eye contact.


[edit on 25-1-2009 by maybereal11]



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 03:42 PM
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I have the same problem David, but not all the time. It seems to bother me only when I think about it. Ive always been shy so maybe that has something to do with it. Also for me it seems to be certin people. Some people I can talk to and have to problem looking them in the eyes. The people I have talked to where it did bother me it was like
they seen me. It just felt wrong and you didnt want to do it again. Another problem may be that I dont really ever meet new people. There was one woman I know where it really bothered me but I seem to be over it, it was really bad with her and I have no idea why.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 04:05 PM
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First of all,hi.

Personally,i think the first step should be to find out what causes it.Obviously you haven't found it yet but if you want to change this you gotta try and analyze yourself.
Imho,the best time is when you lie down to sleep.Close your eyes and,with one step at a time,think about what you're doing (avoiding eye contact),exactly in which situations you do it and then why.
I think this is the most important thing.Then all you have to do is to change it which,i'd say,it's easier compared with what i've allready said.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 04:06 PM
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Listen to me carefully!

It is of the great importance to look at people's eyes whenever possible.

Your eyes are an emanation of your soul!

Whenever they take something away from you... your freedom, your wealth, your knowledge, your family friends and beloved ones, if you are a slave what we all are right now, your eyes are the only essential material thing you have left...

Modern way of life prevents us from looking into each others eyes.. We always stare at TV's, computer screens, mobile phones, all sorts of advertisement, sexual attributes, light shows, DJs whatever..

We are scared to look at each other because of various irrational egoistic mental and social limits. What do others think about me? Are they better than me? Are they gonna find out that I'm lying?

Look at the mirror and look into your eyes.. Aren't they beautiful?

Go and look at other people's eyes, they are also beautiful!

Listen to the people and you will hear them lying, showing off, bluffing...

But if you look into their eyes, you WILL see the truth, you'll find out that they are just as scared as you are..

Eye contact helps you to realize the truth.

It helps you to connect with your brethren and your entire race..

It gives you a sort of wisdom, encouragement, hope and truth!

Btw, bonton and mannerism also demand that you need to sustain the eye contact


Just what a wonderful images they provide! I cant believe all the beautiful stuff im seeing around this world...

Admonish people to keep an eye contact if they are avoiding your glaze.
Just point to you eyes with your fingers and tell them gently: "Hey, I am right here!"

They will become happy about it, trust me..

PLUR



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 04:23 PM
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I always found that people whom stare me dead in the eye were always trying to pull something over aka Used Car Salesmen, Insurance Man, Politicians as they have the confidence to be deceitful. I watch my back around anyone that stares too hard. I do make eye contact but, not the dead eye as I call it. People that stare and do kinda a sideways head nod are the "Dude! type of people." People that look away I always considered them shy and kinda endearing.

A certain stare also has something do with what has been attributed as "gaydar".

Over the years I can look into people's eyes and tell a great deal about them. It is hard as I cannot even explain what I see in them but, I do. Honestly I think you might be just an empathetic person nothing wrong with that other than made up rules of society.

[edit on 25/1/2009 by toochaos4u]



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 04:23 PM
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reply to post by David9176
 


yeah it's called social anxiety disorder.. and it's very common now a day's
i am a sufferer as well..
but there are allot of way's to overcome it.. i think you should see your local m.d. about this..

best of luck.



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 04:26 PM
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I agree with many others here that it's possibly related to an energetic issue with you not wanting that kind of connection with everyone. You could be highly sensitive to others' energy, as I am. I don't see it as a problem to not look people in the eye. I may quickly look at someone's eyes if I'm trying to gauge their personality, and that's enough for me. If I'm interested in a man or I find him attractive, I may possibly hold my eyes to his eyes very briefly. This itself could be felt strongly, so I don't make a habit of it.

I don't see my view of eye contact being somewhat intimate as too rare, seeing as eye contact is a part of techniques in tantra and soul-gazing, for instance. I'm not saying all eye contact is sexual or soulful, just that it can be a tricky thing because so much is in the eyes. The point about customs in China and Japan are very interesting to me. Though I'm not sure of all the reasons for that, I think the fact that some energy work and healing systems that come from their cultures may go along with the weight attributed to eye contact there. (I just read in Japan Times Online that books are given book covers to protect them from eye contact. Eye contact in Japan)

Eye contact can also be used for cursing or healing. Think of the "evil eye", and at the opposite end of the spectrum, techniques like Reiki that can send healing through the eyes. And I totally agree with IAmD1 that a psychic vampire will have much easier access to your energy if you look him/her in the eyes. Plus there are people who I imagine might purposely psychically scan you via your eyes (scanning without permission considered rude in some or many energy work circles), though they can do it via your aura. Here's a nice clip I found to do with avoiding eye contact on purpose:



Cloaking is the general catch-all term I use for dampening down your energy, shifting to a completely different energy signature, or using other techniques to avoid a specific someone, group, or entire crowd. The primary and practical five sensory techniques can be employed first: Stop making eye contact. This doesn't mean keeping your head down, it means shifting your body language into "privacy" mode. Keep your eyes looking below others chin levels. Use your peripheral vision. Look at objects vs. people, sit relaxed and not stiff. Set your harder or more brilliant emotions aside.


I'm personally more ok with looking random people in the eyes if I'm feeling energetically strong. It's a two-way street. If I feel energetically safe, I feel more free to look yet I am careful with that out of politeness and a respect for others' energetic boundaries. For you, I think it's possible that when you drink, you let your natural guards down and aren't as instinctively protective of your energetic boundaries. I did the same a bit when I used to slightly drink. In fact, part of the reason I *don't* drink, besides for health reasons, is that I like to keep my awareness unhindered. Then again, you *could* say that when you drink, you are letting down inhibitions, and that could be advantageous in some circumstances for you (like for being able to sleep, I think you pointed out). I think it's just good to be aware either way, and then you can more consciously decide what you are going for when you make choices.

Of course, in some situations it is advisable to look people in the eyes. Other posters have given some great ideas on how to practice for that. I think you can figure out if the energetic boundaries are part of the issue. If this is going on, I say embrace it and continue to explore your interactions with others. In my case, in the past certain people encouraged me to go into healing work because of my sensitivity, so what some have criticized me for has turned out to be something I could see as positive too.

[edit on 25-1-2009 by wintermarches]



posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 04:55 PM
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reply to post by David9176
 


I've had the same issue for years David, though for a while when I was a kid I didn't even realize it was a problem until someone told me it was weird not to look people in the eyes. So I began to slowly work on forcing myself to look people in the eyes during conversation, I've gotten quite a bit better but I noticed it has a lot to do with my mood. If I'm feeling up beat, funny, or happy I tend to make eye contact more, its sort of all about mind-set I guess. And a lot of it has to do with what gender of a person I'm talking to, usually if I'm talking to a girl I can make eye contact easier for some reason. It also has to do with the nature of the conversation, its easy to make eye contact with your buddy when he's cracking a joke but when someone is riding you for doing something wrong it can be tough to look them in the eye...

Being an introvert is tough in a world where success is usually based on your social network and ability to connect with and talk to people...

Good luck




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