Child drug addiction.Is it the parents fault?

The first drug I ever tried (besides alcohol), at the age of 13 was Methamphetamine. We called it "ice" because it was a little rock that we smoked by using tin foil and yadda yadda, you get the picture. I am not an addict now, nor did I have the urge to do it again after that.

Growing up in this country (America) you are exposed to a plethora of misconceptions that are perpetuated by the popular media. This usually entails grouping strong and weak people into a common group called "abusers." Even though accounts of drug use vary incredibly between persons. There are claims of such things as "gateway drugs." I am living testiment to the fact that there are no such things.

Now getting back to the topic, I would say that child drug addiction is essentially the parents fault. Either the parents have not communicated their love for the child or they are directly responsible. A friend of mine was seven years old when his mother insisted that he try some of her marijuana. He is a high school drop out now and addcited to coc aine, he is now 18. So it's almost plainly obvious from my perspective how the pattern between parenting and drug use exists in an inverse relationship.

[Edited on 4-11-2004 by insite]

I have done weed ;lots of it, mandrex, '___'25, 714's, smoked coke not crack because it wasn't around then, booze, and other pills in the past to 'fit in' or to be part of the 'in crowd' in high school. I was raised in the mid 70's. I was like Hyde on That 70's Show. I even had a girl friend like Jackie. Glad I got rid of her. I remember great weed for 10 bucks an oz. You can't imagine how good it was to all you dope smokers here.

It set me back ten years. Looking back on it I wouldn't do it again. As far as who the fault belongs to it depends; Most of the time it lies on your own sholders. Sometimes it is the fault of the parents because they loose contact with their kids bacause they love money more or they are disappointed that Jr didn't turn out the way they expected so they said oh well and gave up and went to bingo.

I'll say this when it comes to Kids and Drugs. Like everything else in the world, there is no simple answer that can be used as the 'Golden Truth for all Cases', yet it's not as complicated as some think it is either.

Fact: There are times where Kids end up using drugs because their Parents use drugs and expose them to it, either directly or indirectly by the lifestyle they live. However, there are times where that same situation effects the kid in the opposite way and they choose a life against drugs and booze, sometimes going into Law Enforcement or work in treatment to help those who are users, so other kids might have the chance to grow up different then themselves.

Fact: Parents who Neglect or Abuse thier kids, whether or not they are drug users, increase the chances of thier kids growing up into unstable teens and adults. That unstable person will most likely repeat that same cycle until either them or their offspring decide to break that cycle. (See the first fact for an example.)

Fact: Nobody can or should raise a kid with the idea that it's their job to direct every action or inaction that kid takes their entire life. They should raise them so that kid grows up understanding that all the choices they make have consequences as a result and it's important to know when, why and how to make those choices on their own. At the same time, making sure the kid knows that mistakes can and do happen to everybody, the idea is to learn from it. Also that when help is needed that they will be there, but the more choices that can be handled on their own, the better off they'll be, so they should try that first.

Fact: Parents who have Addictive Personality Types, produce kids that have Addictive Personality Types. The addiction can be anything from Drugs to Booze to Sex to Money or whatever. Biology is Biology, plain and simple. It is a disease, passed down within certain Family lines, like it or not. Add that along with the degree of Addictions inherent in the addiction itself and the odds increase. Predisposed along with a strong Addictive Substance or Lifestyle will almost never stop. Non-Predisposed with the same Substance or Lifestyle has a much better chance of changing their ways.

Fact: Telling a kid that Drugs are Bad, even though you Smoke and/or Drink and/or Need Coffee every morning before Work and/or Take Perscription Drugs for anything that isn't absolutely nessissary, only makes you look like a Liar and Hyppocrite, and you kid will see it for what it is. Even worse is having them on some Perscription at a young age and then telling them Drugs are Bad later on. (This is a tricky one of course. Some times Perscriptions are the only thing you can do. But the way they are handing out Script. Drugs today is INSANE!!! I'm not going to rant about this right now, so use your own brain to figure out the reality on this one.)

Now, before this gets any longer, I'm stopping it here. I think I hit all the important points. The truth is, Good Parents sometimes Produce Bastards. Sometimes it's the opposite. Sometimes the cycle simply goes as planned, Good make Good and Bad make Bad, there is no solid answer possible. Personally, if you're a loser, do everyone else and yourself a favor and don't reproduce, it's that simple. As long as you don't reproduce, go right ahead and take on every Bad Habit and Addiction you can handle without any guilt, it's fine. But you can't do both, if you do, I'm afraid we'll have to take away your reproductive organs forever from then on, and do our best with the kid. (That last part was sarcastic, but in a very honest way, it's difficult to say how much of each!)

Is it the parents fault?

OK, the only people who blame it on the parents are the people that fall addicted to it and it screw up their lives. But ohhhh no, don't take responsibility...blame mommy and daddy for not being around.

Nobody teaches you common sense.

It's nobodys fault, it just happens. Maybe if we would all stop trying to blame someone, blame ourselves, or trying to find a nice little way to share the blame, we could actually try to FIX the problem, instead of trying to find someone to fix it for us.

Sure, I've had my share of addictions. I was a pill popper like no other, I should have died man. It was bad. And no, my parents were never around, I have no relationship with them, and we never had a connection. They never taught me how to resist temptation or to have self esteem or not fall in with the "wrong crowd."

I've got an awesome case for blaming the bejesus out of them, but I'm not going to, because that would be grade A lame.

So quit blaming, quit babying, and quit bitching.

Start solving your stupid problems, maybe then you could boat about how kick ash you are, without your parents help.

The botom line is i think we all have had the chance to become a drug addicted living in a van down by the river bum , but have made the choice not to. we wouldn't have to try that hard however, we still chose not to.

I still will not use the instant addiction drugs

Originally posted by wget
I still will not use the instant addiction drugs

There is no such thing.

I liked the Chris Farley reference there.

Instant addiction drugs. Not possible. THe body would not become dependent INSTANTLY to a substance.

Now, maybe after a few rounds abouts...yeah.

The reason people say they are "instantly addictive" is simply because after the first time you're like HOLY SH*T THATS GOOD STUFF! So you do it again as soon as possible, in amuch larger amount than before. THus, you eventually actually become "addicted."

Remeber, there's a difference between "addiction" and giving into temptation.

but isn't that the instant addiction it is never as good as the first time so it takes more and more and more

Scat, one of your previous posts spiked my interest.

You won't blame your parents because you think it's a lame excuse? That in itself is a lame reaction, but I admire your self responsibility. I don't remember what anyone else has said on this thread but I'm not too sure if anyone here has blamed their parents for their addiction. In one of my previous posts I linked a case that I was personally familiar with. I would never attempt to start a confrontation with my friend about his coke addiction and his mothers insistance on his trying drugs. But I think if you looked at a number of cases you would find a close link between poor parenting and drug abuse.

insite


the only one you have to blame is your self

Originally posted by wget
but isn't that the instant addiction it is never as good as the first time so it takes more and more and more

Addiction means you have to use the drug. Either you mentally really want to take it, or your body tells you you need it. Some people have an addictive personality, when coupled with an addictive drug will increase your chances of becomming hooked.

You don't usually think about how good the first time was until later on in the phase. What would you consider an instantly addictive drug?

understood 2nd time not as good as 1st so third time a little bit more?

Originally posted by wget
understood 2nd time not as good as 1st so third time a little bit more?

I don't understand your question. The chance of becomming addicted has more to do with the personality of the user than the drug itself.

Originally posted by insite
Scat, one of your previous posts spiked my interest.

You won't blame your parents because you think it's a lame excuse? That in itself is a lame reaction, but I admire your self responsibility. I don't remember what anyone else has said on this thread but I'm not too sure if anyone here has blamed their parents for their addiction. In one of my previous posts I linked a case that I was personally familiar with. I would never attempt to start a confrontation with my friend about his coke addiction and his mothers insistance on his trying drugs. But I think if you looked at a number of cases you would find a close link between poor parenting and drug abuse.

I didn't say anybody here did it, I was referring to the title of the thread.

Sorry if I came off as callous, I guess I wasn't very clear.

Sure there is a connection between poor parenting and drug abuse. But you can connect it with so many other things as well, it completely diffuses out. Poor schooling, poor this, poor that, there are so many things linked to it. What I'm saying is that sitting around blaming some one else will not help. And I say this out of personal experience as well, concerning myself and others close to me. In my case, yes, blaming my parents would be very lame. Sure, they did nothing to hlep my situation, but the fact that they did not even know there was a situation to begin with kind of limits their ability to help it don't you think?

I've watched too many people die (metaphorically and literally) from one addiction or another, and it hurts every time the crawl to someone crying because its so-andso'd fault. It hurts even more when they're crawling to me and I have to dry their tears and slap them upside the head. If we must blame someone, do it once your clean. That way you'll have all of your strength to kick their arses for being rototen to you.

But at the same time, I'm not meaning to go soft on the parents. Sometimes blame can and should be placed upon one factor or another, but the comfort of knowing that someone else is responsible for screwing you over is not going to get you out of your pickle in any way whatsoever. Plus, for many I know who have blamed their parents, they didn't quite get that their parents couldn't and wouldn't go to rehab for them.

And I'm probably just even more confusing and messed up now. My bad.

is this like before birth or after the chils is born and has gone through life a bit

Originally posted by KrazyIvan
is this like before birth or after the chils is born and has gone through life a bit

WHAT I"m sorry you just lost me on that one

Originally posted by Scat
I didn't say anybody here did it, I was referring to the title of the thread.

Sorry if I came off as callous, I guess I wasn't very clear.

Sure there is a connection between poor parenting and drug abuse. But you can connect it with so many other things as well, it completely diffuses out. Poor schooling, poor this, poor that, there are so many things linked to it. What I'm saying is that sitting around blaming some one else will not help. And I say this out of personal experience as well, concerning myself and others close to me. In my case, yes, blaming my parents would be very lame. Sure, they did nothing to hlep my situation, but the fact that they did not even know there was a situation to begin with kind of limits their ability to help it don't you think?

I've watched too many people die (metaphorically and literally) from one addiction or another, and it hurts every time the crawl to someone crying because its so-andso'd fault. It hurts even more when they're crawling to me and I have to dry their tears and slap them upside the head. If we must blame someone, do it once your clean. That way you'll have all of your strength to kick their arses for being rototen to you.

But at the same time, I'm not meaning to go soft on the parents. Sometimes blame can and should be placed upon one factor or another, but the comfort of knowing that someone else is responsible for screwing you over is not going to get you out of your pickle in any way whatsoever. Plus, for many I know who have blamed their parents, they didn't quite get that their parents couldn't and wouldn't go to rehab for them.

And I'm probably just even more confusing and messed up now. My bad.

No, no I get you. You make a very interesting point since it is personal and I thank you for sharing. You said that blaming your parents was wrong because they didn't even know what you were doing. That in of itself points to the fact that they should have held more responsibility over your life. Now, I know it doesn't really work like that since I assume you were too old to allow your parents to be a huge part of your life.

But this brings me back to the title of the thread. If you can't blame the parent for the addiction of a child, then I don't know who is responsible. As you get older there is a natural shift of responsiblity, but a child? Children need guidance, not free range.

Originally posted by insite

No, no I get you. You make a very interesting point since it is personal and I thank you for sharing. You said that blaming your parents was wrong because they didn't even know what you were doing. That in of itself points to the fact that they should have held more responsibility over your life. Now, I know it doesn't really work like that since I assume you were too old to allow your parents to be a huge part of your life.

But this brings me back to the title of the thread. If you can't blame the parent for the addiction of a child, then I don't know who is responsible. As you get older there is a natural shift of responsiblity, but a child? Children need guidance, not free range.

Well, I understand with what youre saying, but here's the deal. Me, being of age, and my parents not as big a part of my life would be any easy way to shift responsibility. However, my addiction began when I was in the 6th grade and lasted until probably mid-way through my freshman year in highschool.

The parents still had no idea.

But they still cannot be blamed.

Children do need guidance, and in most cases, the parents are not there to provide it. But I'm still going to fall back onto my oroginal argument, that blaming anyone is useless.

I'll quote a wonderful Red Animal War song that goes along with what I'm saying...

"Blame the Catholics, blame the Christians, blame the Muslims, blame the Jews. Blame your mother, blame your father, blame- never got anybody anywhere."