(Therapy for the fearful) - If you are not afraid of death then what are you afraid of?

Everyone is so brave....

I'm not brave! I'm afraid of death. The unknown.
Please, Please, I don't wanna die!!

Death is more frightening, I suppose, if you led a bad life. I've met people who don't think there's anything beyond the grave because, in my opinion, it interferes with their partying, sexual antics and lying stealing life styles. But when your laying on your deathbed, that big "What If" starts creeping into your mind and then it can get scary. Since we're all going to die, My advice is don't live a loser lifestyle and help others when you can and you won't have so much to worry about when your time comes.

Well now I think of it there's nothing that I am TRULY afraid of.

Sure pain sucks but I'm not ''afraid'' of pain itself.

I believe I have nothing to lose in this life, and while I won't be on the news for suicide anytime soon, I wouldn't be afraid of dying, or becoming handicapped.

Life sucks for me, because the values that I value, aren't within my reach, so all I'm doing is basically waiting for death. Waiting...and waiting...whilst I continue the same boring procedure of eating sleeping and working.

In other words, Life sucks, who cares if it gets worse, it sucked to begin with.

[edit on 23/1/09 by -0mega-]

I think people say they arent scared of dieing because they feel as if their death is within their control to a certain degree. Right before you are about to die, you are ready for it and you know it is coming. There is a certain element of control.

I think what you fear is having no control. Being completely helpless. Maybe even like a slave to whatever you might encounter. A higher power. And of course you are scared of the unknown.

I think you are lieing when you say you are not scared of death. Have you ever given it some serious thought? What have I just described? Being helpless, a slave to something completely out of your control, and the unknown are all things that accompany death.

If you sat their, watched your vision slowly fade away as the world around you has become an illusion filled with hullucinations and confusion, your physical body slowly becoming completely paralyzed knowing that you are about to die, not knowing what will become of you if anything at all, slowly disapearing as you struggle to stay within reality, trying to move but you cant before everything in existence shatters to pieces. You would not be scared the slightest bit? I highly doubt that.

Even if there were no transitional faze into death. Would you not fear going to sleep at night and then waking up dead? I think you need to take a better look at your fears.

There are other things people are afraid of such as humiliation, scrutiny, failure, and unworthiness.

Take a good look within yourself. You are afraid of much more than you think. You have never even been confronted with the things you say you are not afraid of. What do you fear? Ego loss, complete loss of self, loss of individuality, solitude, loss of memories, loss of control. All these are related to death.

What is fear? I would simply put the unknown. You mean to say you know death? HAH! I laugh at your ignorence. Would you find comfort in the hand of God ripping your soul out and throwing it into the abyss to be consumed?

[edit on 23-1-2009 by Wisen Heimer]

Originally posted by Wisen Heimer
Take a good look within yourself. You are afraid of much more than you think. You have never even been confronted with the things you say you are not afraid of. What do you fear? Ego loss, complete loss of self, loss of individuality, solitude, loss of memories, loss of control. All these are related to death.

What is fear? I would simply put the unknown. You mean to say you know death? HAH! I laugh at your ignorence. Would you find comfort in the hand of God ripping your soul out and throwing it into the abyss to be consumed?

I don't know what I fear...because every time I find a fear I also find a way to cancel that fear. Everything is cause and effect, I know this and that is why I do not fear death, loss, solitude, or even an abyss. I am not lying either, these things have no affect on me, if they happen then they happen and that's that, if they don't, it might be a little more dull, but I can live with that too.

I am not afraid of dying, however I am afraid of being dead. I know that may sound strange but the actual process of dying I understand is natural and the only thing certain in this life. However being dead, well, what does it consist of? Any consciousnes, if not, then all of this is pointless? Never to remember the peoples lives you have impacted, or have impacted yours. Not to be able to remember those special feelings or people. To remember the light the sun provides. The thoughts you spent so long contemplating. If you are able to remember then what happens then, you get to watch your loved ones on earth? You have to see them hurt without being able to help in any way. Then there are other things to consider such as reincarnation, I'll never be me again, you'll never be you and it's very unlikely you will ever remember this existance ever again. It is a deep fear of mine, being dead.

Wisen Heimer, you sound very young and naive. You are projecting unto others you fears. You are unable to overcome them, and so you believe that no one else can either. It would be beneficial to you to see more points of view. To some death is no more than an annoyance. To be in a state of solitude can be bliss...to lose one's memories can be a blessing...to lose one's individuality can be insignificant...

The point is that, like the above poster, some people come to terms with these things in various ways and cease to fear them.

I fear several things, of course, but death is not one of them. It would be unexpected at most. The only scenario you described that would cause fear would be that of a state of slavery, but only because of the pain associated with those circumstances.

You often hear/read 'there are many things worse than death', however, that is a misleading statement because death is nothing to fear, or avoid, or dread, or resent.

Death doesn't frighten me at all, it is something that awaits each of us. Honestly, the thing that scares me the most in this world is me. The things as human beings that we are capable of. Unwittingly hurting others...I don't mean physically.
I have strived in my life to be kind to others, to love and show compassion, but as I have gotten older, and been hurt and gone through pain and sorrow, as each of us does, I find that I feel less compassion and can have at times a sharp tongue. Then the guilt I feel for hurting someones feelings is hard to deal with at times!
Maybe it is not me that I fear, but losing me...

Originally posted by cancerian42
reply to post by IAmD1

 

Have you had any real terrifying experiences to cause this fear, or do you just have a really vivid imagination?

I have had many out of the ordinary experiences. I think one of my great fears is being in a completely dark place 'knowing' that what ever it is that is out to get me can see me but I can't see it. Feeling like prey if you like.
It's not the dying that is scary it is the terror of seeing something absolutely horrible face to face. Just a blink away from being devoured. Or even worse freezframed in that moment of sheer terror. Or reliving that moment for ever.

reply to post by IAmD1


Okay speaking from personal past here... You had an encounter at a young age that scared you silly. Now that you are older and can sometimes feel that same energy you instantly recall the fear from the original event.

Sorry to have to put it this way; but the only way you are going to get around it is to face it with the courage of knowing you can overcome it. You are older and wiser now and know whats around you and what to expect you also know how to protect yourself when needed. ( I am assuming from your comments here)
This is definitely something you need to keep in mind the next time the fear comes over you. Another one to remember is that perhaps you are running into energies of this type due to your own fear. It wouldn't be the first time, as you know what you project is what you get. You need to get your mind back on your side;your way of doing things and not let it be allowed to run the show in a fashion you aren't comfortable with.Then and only then will you get past it.

Originally posted by xoxo stacie
reply to post by IAmD1

 

Okay speaking from personal past here... You had an encounter at a young age that scared you silly. Now that you are older and can sometimes feel that same energy you instantly recall the fear from the original event.

Sorry to have to put it this way; but the only way you are going to get around it is to face it with the courage of knowing you can overcome it. You are older and wiser now and know whats around you and what to expect you also know how to protect yourself when needed. ( I am assuming from your comments here)
This is definitely something you need to keep in mind the next time the fear comes over you. Another one to remember is that perhaps you are running into energies of this type due to your own fear. It wouldn't be the first time, as you know what you project is what you get. You need to get your mind back on your side;your way of doing things and not let it be allowed to run the show in a fashion you aren't comfortable with.Then and only then will you get past it.

Thanks for the enlightened comment XOXO - That's exactly what I am trying to do by discussing my fears and experiences with people on ATS. I am alread feeling the possitive effects and am much less fearful and even a little exited at what's to come out of this

Im sometimes afraid, ive been lied too, but if so recompesne

Maybe its because death is something that is just unpreventable under every circumstance. I mean hell, I am a lot more afraid of messing up my life, then I am of dieing early. At least in life you have choices, unexpected events, and excitment. Death is just something not under our control at all, not the time, how it will happen, or if it will.

So I guess its hard to fear something when you know you cant stop it, but of course why wouldn't you be afraid of life? Everyone wants to make their short time on here enjoyable, but it will all lead to the same path for everyone.

Thanks to all of you who've shared so far. As stated by the original posting I wanted this forum to serves as therapy for people who want to overcome their fears or just simply share and discuss them. So to move the thread along I'm now posing the following questions.

It seems most people are in some ways afraid of death, or dying or being dead. What about other fears?

Have you overcome your fears? If so how did you do so and have you developed new fears as a result or are you now fearless/ fear free?



[edit on 29/1/2009 by IAmD1]

reply to post by IAmD1

The Process of Overcoming Your Fears
step one: Sit or lay in a meditative position with your whole body as relaxed as possible.
step two: Try to clear your mind of all your thoughts. Do not push them out, because they will come back, but just let them go.
step three: Once you have successfully cleared your mind of all thoughts take a few deep breaths in and out.
step four: Begin to think of what you are afraid of, one thing at a time and slowly push the thoughts out of your mind and imagine them seeping out like a poison being released from your body.
step five: After you feel that all the fear has been released, imagine the fear entering something you feel comfortable with like an old toy that you have nearby.
step six: After you finish your meditation, take the object and wash the evil down the drain.

Actually I was just kidding. You just have to realize that there is nothing to be afraid of.

[edit on 29-1-2009 by cancerian42]

reply to post by IAmD1


I have a fear of spiders. =) It's not too bad, I just get really freaked out by them.

My real fear is of surgery. I can't describe how debilitating it is to me. The whole thing from being on a stretcher to having no control of yourself. I had a bad experience last year that I still have nightmares about. Good luck trying to get me to a hospital again....

Originally posted by IAmD1

Originally posted by cancerian42
reply to post by IAmD1

 

Have you had any real terrifying experiences to cause this fear, or do you just have a really vivid imagination?

I have had many out of the ordinary experiences. I think one of my great fears is being in a completely dark place 'knowing' that what ever it is that is out to get me can see me but I can't see it. Feeling like prey if you like.
It's not the dying that is scary it is the terror of seeing something absolutely horrible face to face. Just a blink away from being devoured. Or even worse freezframed in that moment of sheer terror. Or reliving that moment for ever.

Has anything ever attacked you in the dark? Do you actually believe that something is trying to harm you when you turn off the lights? Is it pain that you fear, or hated, or both? The only reason any conscious being would have to harm you is because of either a. retribution (as in you did something bad to them and they want revenge) or b. self gratification (as in a predator and prey). You sound like you are being washed down a river of emotions which you can never predict what the next turn will be or the next waterfall. So many what-ifs.

Originally posted by cancerian42

Originally posted by IAmD1

Originally posted by cancerian42
reply to post by IAmD1

 

Have you had any real terrifying experiences to cause this fear, or do you just have a really vivid imagination?

I have had many out of the ordinary experiences. I think one of my great fears is being in a completely dark place 'knowing' that what ever it is that is out to get me can see me but I can't see it. Feeling like prey if you like.
It's not the dying that is scary it is the terror of seeing something absolutely horrible face to face. Just a blink away from being devoured. Or even worse freezframed in that moment of sheer terror. Or reliving that moment for ever.

Has anything ever attacked you in the dark? Do you actually believe that something is trying to harm you when you turn off the lights? Is it pain that you fear, or hated, or both? The only reason any conscious being would have to harm you is because of either a. retribution (as in you did something bad to them and they want revenge) or b. self gratification (as in a predator and prey). You sound like you are being washed down a river of emotions which you can never predict what the next turn will be or the next waterfall. So many what-ifs.

Yes I've been attacked in the dark by something rather than someone. This happened as a grown up. It was physical and I was awake. Feels more like a predator prey situation. I'm more afraid of the shock of / fear factor of seeing something horrible than the thought of being physically hurt if you understand. The fear is somewhet irrational but sometimes feels like it protects me. As if I stop feeling fear then something worse will happen. At everytime I do get over it something scary does happen. But nothing that threatens my life as of yet.

reply to post by Wisen Heimer


How dare you act as if none of us know anything of death. The fact that you would call strangers that you have no idea what their experiances are for stating their opininon ignorant sugests that you may have some issues with ignorance.

I know more of death than you will until your knocking at its door. I have came so close I have no idea how I made it back home many days. I know what it is like to be hurt see the dead around you and have to keep moving.

I don't want to die and will fight like hell to keep from it, but I do not fear it. Death is a part of life. It is just one more experiance on you journey. I would like to experiance more on this side before I go but death does not make me shiver in the darkness.

I do not fear being out of control. Things happen. You fight or you sit back and take it but whats to fear. The unknown, why should you fear something that is not even a threat at the current time. I understand being cautious of something but to worry about it, to fear it, that is sad and i pitty you.

What is fear anyway. Well it is the surge of edrinaline you get to trigger defense systems in the brain, Fight of Flight. Humans with their higher brian functions have for sight and can make themselfs afaid of things that are not even there. My dog for example walks around the room just doing what dogs do and has no fear ever until I jump out from behind the door and startle her or roll up a news paper because I see poo on the floor.

She is house broke because she knows she will get hit if she does not but she has no fear of the hit until I see what she did because she does not have that kind of foresight. If she did she would hide the poo. You see dogs move their toys, food and everything else sometimes just by pushing it with their nose so she has the ability to hide it she just does not.

So I say fear and worry should be worked on by everyone, why fear something that isn't there and why worry about something that you can not change.