Sleep paralysis and temporary madness.

Ok, this is gonna be a little long, but hopefully I can get this across as accurately as possible.

It's Christmas eve, I finished work and went out on the town with a few friends, had a bit to drink, but left a little early as I didn't want to ruin my Christmas by being a drone all day. I returned home at about 1am, and went straight to bed, everything was normal and good.

I woke up at about 4am, which is very odd for me as I'm usually a very heavy sleeper (although I find it hard actually getting to sleep sometimes) and find it very hard to get up in the mornings. Anyway, when I woke up I noticed I had a very sore throat and had a horrible feeling of dread, unexplainable dread, perhaps I had been having a scary dream that I couldn't remember or something, I'm not sure. Anyway, after being quite annoyed at having a very sore throat on Christmas day, I drifted off again.

I woke up at exactly 5am, unable to move. I had had sleep paralysis once when I was younger, and knew what it was, and although it's still shocking I was sort of calm and kept thinking "it's okay, just try to get one part of your body moving and the rest will come". I could hear someone moving about in my house (probably my Mum getting ready for work) and I was trying to make a noise to signal them to come into the room and help me by making some noises. I can't fully remember if I managed to get a noise out, but I think I did. The next thing I know I am dreaming again, I saw my Nan in a nurses outfit, and wondered where the hell I was, I was half-lucid dreaming, I knew it wasn't right, but didn't have normal thought process, I was mostly asleep (if that makes any sense). Suddenly I knew full well this wasn't right and that I was dreaming and as soon as I did, I woke up again out of the dream. Once again unable to move and in sleep paralysis.

Whoever was walking around in my house was still there, I knew that probably only a few seconds had past. (it's worth noting that I couldn't open my eyes during the sleep paralysis) Somehow I knew it wasn't my Mum and was in fact my step dad, I'm not sure how, but I definitely did, it wasn't a question, it was him.

I continued as I did before to try to signal for help, while remaining relatively calm, trying to get a noise out. I think I managed it, and I heard the door open, and thought "ahh thank God" and "try to get him to shake me to help wake me up" So with great difficulty, I tried to say "shake me I'm stuck" After mostly grunts and noises I managed to just about get the words out, and I remember feeling and hearing a loud bang. After this I could gradually move my thumbs, then hands, then legs, open my eyes and it was fine. I remember thanking my step dad for the help.

At this point, something didn't feel right, he was too happy, sitting on the end of my bad. A big odd looking grin on his face. Me and my step dad do get along well, but we're very different people and don't make great conversations with each other normally, it's usually a "hey, you alright?" sort of thing. Anyway, I had the feeling something was up but I didn't question it as I knew nothing was. I have a bed side lamp built in the best, which has a regular house 60 watt light bulb in it, so it's usually very bright. I noticed this was very very dim, like an orange glow, and as soon as I noticed that, that was it. I KNEW it wasn't right now, and as soon as I did - BANG - I woke up again. Once again unable to move, this time no step dad on my bed and no one moving around. After a few seconds I managed to move my fingers, hands, legs etc again, and I was awake. The bulb was bright and everything felt more real. This time I was awake.

Following this, all of Christmas day, I kept for no reason getting that feeling of horrible dread that I had the first time I woke up. I was also very ill still with a sore throat, cough and cold. I just couldn't shake off this feeling of horrible dread. I knew everything was all right, but still, this nasty sinking feeling would come back. I racked my brains as this was not normal, I'm usually a very happy person, what the hell is making me feel like this?

As the day went on, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going mad, or maybe already had a little bit. I couldn't think of any reason why, I wasn't hearing voices, or hallucinating, I wasn't having any unusual thoughts or erratic behaviour. I was as normal as I always have been, but there's still nasty feeling of horror that I can't shake off. This continued for a few days after. Perhaps up to a week, and really getting to me, upsetting me and worrying me.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going mad, although still not having any explanation as to why, no symptoms of what I would imagine as madness. Only the horrible sinking feeling.

It really stressed me and I couldn't shake it off, kept getting worse and worse. It's worth noting that I am a very rational person, and knew and kept telling myself "you're fine, you're associating a bad feeling with a word, (madness) and now everything you think of the word you get the feeling, and every time you get the feeling you think of the word and that's all it is" but it didn't really help, even though I knew what I was saying was true.

I'm not really a religious person, or wasn't. But it's worth noting that a few weeks before this, I had decided I would prey as I didn't feel any harm in doing so. And this was bothering me so much, I decided I would prey again and ask for help shaking this off. Funnily enough, the next day I felt a lot better. The feeling has reoccurred a few times since, but not as intense and I'm genuinely feeling normal again.

I wanted to share this with you all, because it was of so much significance to me, but I couldn't talk to anyone close to me about it, as I was afraid of people judging me, or me upsetting those close to me or worrying them. So you as the reader are the first person I have really told of how much I went through - mentally - for no apparent reason.

The most likely explanation for me is that the odd dream had really gotten to me, more than I had thought it had. And given me some post traumatic stress syndrome of some sort

Other less likely and more "for fun" reasons are: Being possessed by a demon? ( ) as this is actually very similar to some other posters accounts of this. Although I don't personally believe in demons but am very open minded. Who knows.

Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any replies.

Just wanted to add: Another reasonable explanation is that the illness had caused me some delusion of some sort. I was very ill with fever and flu like symptoms.

Does anyone have any other ideas? I keep thinking about it a lot, because it was absolutely terrifying that I couldn't shake the feeling off. I got it at home, at work, with friends, in front of people, while listening to music and so on. Just could not stop thinking about it, and could not shake it off.

Sorry I had to post again, but I'd reached the character limit.

Hiya Godforbid,
I hope that you are ok? Just for the record i too suffer with sp and i know how scary it can be. I think your best bet is to find a sp chatroom. You don't get the mick taken out of you on them, as everyone is in the same positon. At least you will be understood. This sp is so personal, you know if someone is making it up or not. I thought i was going mad for years as no one understands. I didn't even know what sp was until last year and i cried like a baby when i found out i wasn't the only one and that what i knew along, that i'm not mad or a crackpot!

did you ever hear a loud ringing noise at anytime during your sleep paralysis?

reply to post by happinness


Thank you! Yeah I'm fine now, back to my normal self, without needless worry. Just to clarify, it wasn't the SP it's self that made me feel the way I did. I already understood what SP was and had experienced it before. It was just the starting point of the unexplainable feeling of dread and worry.

reply to post by b3r6a8d8


Nope not that I recall. Why do you ask?

yeah don't worry i get this all the time when i've been sleep deprived and then go into a really deep sleep, if i get woken in the morning before i'm really ready to wake -or sometimes i wake with a weird shift in gears kind of feeling, not fuly awake but suddenly aware of myself.

not being able to move (although i can break this most the time by relaxing and making the right action in my brain to move, it seems like i'm still trying to move a dream body) and weird visuals such as people i know, i've seem a girls face on my pillow (yeah she was a hot friend) and people standing over me, sometimes the scary shadow people. Also light effects, mostly things i'm used to seeing in meditation / induced trance like state dreaming / semi-lucid day dreaming such as geometric shapes and light blobs.

The power of the brain is immense, its image processing center is vast and very complex and sometimes it needs to maintain the system, clear out electrical charges and random bits of data floating about - it does this by shifting into different states during sleep - if it turns on your awareness while it's cleaning your system it might provide you with some complex trip outs.

Don't worry it's all perfectly normal brain function.

I don't even need to read your entire post. Right off the bat you mention several things that sound Sleep Apnea related. Difficulty falling asleep, difficulty waking up, sore throat, anxiety, waking up at 5am during a REM period, all of which are exacerbated by drinking alcohol. Sleep Apnea is when the tissue in your throat occludes your airway, and becomes increasingly worse with deeper sleep, or anything that relaxes you more then normal (such as alcohol). As you descend further toward REM Stage sleep, your body becomes increasingly relaxed, right up until you enter REM Sleep (Which normally happens around 12:00, 03:00, and 05:00 am) when it becomes completely paralyzed. So the Apnea gets to be the worst in REM sleep, which if you do not get enough of that you will always feel tired and have difficulty waking. If the Apnea rapidly wakes you out of REM Sleep, you stand a chance of having a bout of Sleep Paralysis. The soar throat is from snoring more then normal, most likely due to drinking, and you can actually stretch your uvula until it touches your tongue sometimes ..
The anxiety is a subconscious reaction to your brain being deprived of Oxygen from the apnea.


I would suggest talking to your doctor about it, and seeing if he can send you for a sleep study.


[edit on 1/19/2009 by defcon5]

reply to post by NatureBoy


Thanks for the reply! It really is an odd thing isn't it? The thing that worried me though was the unexplainable feeling of dread that lasted for up to a week afterwards.

I didn't understand why I was feeling it, and I think that's what made me feel as though I was going mad.

I didn't feel too scared during the sleep paralysis, but obviously I was. Do you think maybe I had trapped the memory of the fear somehow instead of experiencing it right away as I should have, and therefore it kept trying to come out over the following week or so resulting in very frequent unexplainable feelings of dread?

It's just so odd, I can't think of any decent reasons as to why it happened.

cause just about a week ago it happened to me and acouple of weeks before that it again happened and both times I heard a odd ringing noise!

Hi.

I too suffer from sp and praying did also help me.

I'd convinced myself I was being tormented and possessed by demons at night because just before I started to suffer really bad,
(a full 2 weeks of it, I didnt dare close me eyes)
I'd started to study the bible and thought these "demons" were somehow testing my faith.

Nasty period in my life- I also felt I was being watched in my home during the day.

Maybe all in the mind- who knows?

reply to post by defcon5


Thanks for your reply. It contained some good info.

I wish you had of read the whole post though (sorry it was long) as I actually had the flu, or a bad chest infection for the following week or so afterwards as well. Fever, sore throat, cold, cough the lot. So that was the reason for the sore throat. As for the sleeping, maybe I made it out worse than it actually is. I don't consider myself to have a sleeping problem. I sleep the normal hours a day etc, what I meant is I have a really active brain, and sometimes find it hard to 'switch off' and get to sleep. But this usually only takes 30 mins to an hour and then I drift off. Unlike my girlfriend, who whenever she wants to can switch off and fall asleep, tired or not.

reply to post by b3r6a8d8


That's odd, I think I have heard someone else say something similar in one of the other SP threads.


[edit on 19-1-2009 by GodForbid]

About 3 days ago, I was in bed I think I was awake.
It felt like someone or something quite heavy was lying across my legs stopping me from getting out of bed and then about a few moments later it felt like some force was pushing all of my body down into my bed.
Is this sleep paralysis or something worse?

reply to post by _Volt_


Yeah I think that's sleep paralysis, perhaps a less extreme version. I have heard a lot of people say similar things about SP.

Not to scare you :O but I also read a thread here about demons visiting them in their sleep and causing sleep paralysis, they explain the same thing. The feeling of someone lying across their legs or holding them down and pushing on their chest.

Personally though, I think it's part of the sleep paralysis, maybe some people get it slightly differently to others, or interpret the feeling of paralysis differently, as I don't recall the feeling of being held down physically, more the feeling of just being paralysed. Kind of like when you wake up and you've slept on your arm and you're unable to move it, only your entire body, and less tingly.

reply to post by GodForbid


You coud have gotten a cold on top of it, Alcohol can weaken your immune system somewhat. It could be drainage that went down your throat all night, it could be other things as well (which relate to apnea but I would rather you have a doctor explain it to you). I cannot diagnose what it is, as I am not a doctor, I can only pass along what your symptoms sound like to me. You would need to see a doctor and have them run a study to check what is going on. Read up on Sleep Apnea if you get a chance.

Originally posted by defcon5
reply to post by GodForbid

 

You coud have gotten a cold on top of it, Alcohol can weaken your immune system somewhat. It could be drainage that went down your throat all night, it could be other things as well (which relate to apnea but I would rather you have a doctor explain it to you). I cannot diagnose what it is, as I am not a doctor, I can only pass along what your symptoms sound like to me. You would need to see a doctor and have them run a study to check what is going on. Read up on Sleep Apnea if you get a chance.

Apnea could well explain the cause of my sleep paralysis, and no doubt could cause a sore throat too. But I've had bad colds before, and that's what it was. Just a nasty cold, which I must have caught from someone when I was out on the town the night before.

Again, if you'd read the entire post, which I don't blame you for not doing as it is very long, you'd know that I no longer feel the anxiety / unexplainable feeling of horror, any more, so seeing a doctor would perhaps be a redundant thing to do as I'm no longer experiencing any problem.

SP for me is not a reoccurring thing, and has happened twice in my life. Once at a very young age, maybe 13-14, and once this Christmas eve. As far as I know, that's fairly common, so I don't think I should see a doctor for that either.

I wouldn't have thought of apnea as a cause for the SP though if it wasn't for you. Seems like a valid explanation as to the cause. Cheers!

Originally posted by GodForbid
reply to post by _Volt_

 

Yeah I think that's sleep paralysis, perhaps a less extreme version. I have heard a lot of people say similar things about SP.

Not to scare you :O but I also read a thread here about demons visiting them in their sleep and causing sleep paralysis, they explain the same thing. The feeling of someone lying across their legs or holding them down and pushing on their chest.

Personally though, I think it's part of the sleep paralysis, maybe some people get it slightly differently to others, or interpret the feeling of paralysis differently, as I don't recall the feeling of being held down physically, more the feeling of just being paralysed. Kind of like when you wake up and you've slept on your arm and you're unable to move it, only your entire body, and less tingly.

Thanks for the information, I don't know how this will change things but strange things have happened in the flat like smoke alarms going off when your busy doing something i.e on the toilet, the feeling of being watched on occasion and being poked. It's probably my imagination or nerves in my legs...

reply to post by _Volt_


That's certainly very odd, I'm sure there are rational explanations. Such as fire alarm malfunctioning. Nerve twitches (as you said) etc. And I'd say these are the most likely explanations in your case.

Saying that, I'm very open minded and consider the paranormal etc as a possibility although never experienced anything myself. So I can't see any harm in you doing a search here on ATS for the thread I read a while ago about demons in which some people explain very similar things to you.

I went and found the thread for you. here it is:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Originally posted by GodForbid
reply to post by _Volt_

 

That's certainly very odd, I'm sure there are rational explanations. Such as fire alarm malfunctioning. Nerve twitches (as you said) etc. And I'd say these are the most likely explanations in your case.

Saying that, I'm very open minded and consider the paranormal etc as a possibility although never experienced anything myself. So I can't see any harm in you doing a search here on ATS for the thread I read a while ago about demons in which some people explain very similar things to you.

I went and found the thread for you. here it is:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Thanks.

Originally posted by GodForbid
Just wanted to add: Another reasonable explanation is that the illness had caused me some delusion of some sort. I was very ill with fever and flu like symptoms.

Does anyone have any other ideas? I keep thinking about it a lot, because it was absolutely terrifying that I couldn't shake the feeling off. I got it at home, at work, with friends, in front of people, while listening to music and so on. Just could not stop thinking about it, and could not shake it off.

Welcome to the world of mild sleeping disorders As an occasional visitor to that land, I recognize your experience. I think Natureboy used the term 'sleep deprivation'? It's 'quality sleep' deprivation. Flu ruins quality sleep. A stable sleep pattern almost eliminates the problem. Terrifying experiences used to leave me similarly shaken through the day and, as bedtime came I'd be anxious about what kind of night I'd have. I used to wonder about paranormal causes too. I don't much anymore.

Avoiding late nights, beer sessions, partying and too much coffee helps. Not sure why, but avoid sleeping on your back. After a few lost nights it just becomes really annoying. We're meant to spend around a quarter to a third of our lives enjoying a good nights sleep. To have it interrupted and spoilt by some fricking disorder really p***es me off. Moderate the lifestyle and the sleep gets back to normal again. I used to get it at least once a week...now it's maybe a couple of months apart.

I've answered one or two 'sleep paralysis' questions on ATS and was overlooked in favor of demonic, evil, ghost explanations. Funny how a demon can be defeated by a regular sleep pattern

I added the links because it's some profoundly disturbing s**t to deal with. When you know what it IS, it's easier to reconcile.

Night terrors explained

Sleep disorders

Sleep paralysis

Aaarghh! A less rational explanation of bad nights sleep.

Take it easy...

reply to post by GodForbid


I've had similar problems before and suspected sleep apnea. I had to cancel my appointment because my family changed their minds on helping me pay the co-payment saying it was frivolous or a waste of time and money.

I recently watched an episode of DR G. Medical examiner about a diagnosis of a person's unexpected death. The diagnosis was ketoacidosis.

www.diabetes.org...

Drinking alchohol and other unhealthy habits obviously contribute. This guy who died of this wasn't even a drinker. He was diagnosed as a borderline diabetic about a year before.

I've had several lab tests and they had at least once also said I was borderline. I bought PH test strips and the acid level is almost always high and if it's more alkaline, I feel sick. I suppose a sign of cancer also? idk My dad died a couple years ago of cancer. Not a pleasant thought anyway.

[edit on 19-1-2009 by aleon1018]