posted on Jan, 17 2009 @ 07:39 PM
Lets get this straight:
For some reason, you have had a series of events and thought patterns in your life that make you want to:
1) Allow Astarot to possess you
2) Once it has possessed you, you want to cut yourself 1000 times.
I'm going to suggest a few things. Once you let a demon enter, it will probably just lurk in your body, and you might cut yourself a few times, but
once you think it's "out" or that you have punished it, it will never leave you. You will realize that the battle you planned in that room is only
the beginning. If you leave the room, the fight will rage inside you for the rest of your life. It will give you the feeling like you have
"conquered" it, just to take you down that much farther when it comes back when you think you are done fighting it.
If you already feel like your are possessed, you need to realize that whatever special knowledge or powers, like strength or quickness, that you think
you are benefiting from by allowing its presence in your mind do not really exist... there are a thousand positive ways to improve yourself without
depending on any sort of phantom. Consider also that you are in the same family as your sister and demons like to manipulate family lines that they
know they have had past success with. What makes you think you would be any different? It seems as if you already realize your mission is suicidal.
Also, if your sister was messing around with the occult it's likely that she may have let something in the house that you are in and that is what is
causing all of these negative thoughts you have. Why do you think you want to do this in the cellar?
Instead of your plan, fill yourself with the love your family and friends have for you and don't deny them the years of companionship that you would
so carelessly throw away. Recognize; you would be playing right into the hands of your enemy. Put down the sword, listen to positive music, and
cease any self destructive behaviors that could be taking a physical toll on your body, like drugs, drinking, or smoking. Also consider going on a
vacation, or cleaning/redecorating your house to help remove any overwhelming feelings. You will feel better just knowing you are taking steps to
improve your physical life, spiritual world aside.
Finally, the most effective way you can injure the demon would be to deny the monster a victim he already considers his. The blow to his pride would
be a thousand times more powerful than the thousand cuts to yourself. Besides, if the demon truly does exist, his judgment will come in time. Save
your judgment for judgment day!