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A Politcal Satire.... you might be interested

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posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 06:07 PM
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So, for my profossor (who is extremely liberal
), I had to write a short 3-5 minute satire for a speaking final. I thought ATS member might find it funny, and might get a laugh or two. Just tell me what you think, or might work better...

Thanks, truth_seeker3.......

I just love our government, don’t you? I mean, look at them, we are helping other people all over the world, and our own economy! We help other people, and we take everything into consideration. I wish our government was like all the other ones around the world.

The government these days is just a great tool, I mean, how about that bailout bill passed recently. Don’t you love throwing your money at banks, without even telling us where it’s going! Look at that, we just loving being consumers. When Hank Paulsen says to give him a 700 billion dollar check, we better do it, because he definitely knows where it’s going! Why shouldn’t we bail out a failed banking system that just sucks up money, I mean, were only patching the holes in it, its not like it’s going to implode and sent us into a depression. It’s not like we could have done anything to stop this happening either. We couldn’t have acted any earlier, or sensed that the housing bubble was going to burst, we were quite sure that it was going to last forever! There was absolutely nothing we could have done about this economic problem, and was an impossible task, even for our infallible government.

Oh, ya, did you hear about the government debt, isn’t it just great! We are just only 10 Trillion dollars in debt. It isn’t too much, just a little on the heavy side. There is no way on earth that this giant deficit could have been avoided. The Iraq War, pork-barrel spending, and government subsidies for alternative energy were all crucial to the safety and growth of America. Ethanol and Algae definitely was high on the list for George Bush. There was no need to cut spending one bit.

Oh boy, and how about that Iraq War? Wasn’t it just great to swoop in and enforce our view of government on them? Saddam was an extremely dangerous man! Our government told us that he was hiding biological and chemical weapons; we should totally believe them when they tell us these things. Only like 200,000 American lives and a couple of trillion dollars later did that work itself out, all in all, a good cause. We saved all those Iraqi’s from the terrible Saddam Hussein! I think the terrorism and Al-Qaeda networks are a lot better than an overbearing dictator any day. I don’t think there was any way to avoid this, diplomacy obviously wouldn’t work, and economic sanctions are such a thing of the past.

The United States government was going a tremendous favor by passing the No Child Left Behind Act. It definitely succeeded by withholding funding to under performing schools. It also benefited us by narrowing our set of skills only to test taking in Math and English. By taking more time preparing for these tests, we are actually learning less than before. How great! I never really liked school anyways. The government thought that by limiting funding, we could actually perform better! The irony in it worked! Increasing funding wouldn’t have worked. The only way was to decrease it.

Our government did some great things, and took a long time to think out these heavy decisions. Government never went into any shady dealings with foreign leaders, and always had our best interests at heart. They did what was always right and could never improve. Government always took into account what the public would think, and always are ready to “Make America Great Again”.




posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 07:13 PM
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I thought it was entertaining.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 08:22 PM
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If you really want to throw him into a psychotic mess you should put something in there about how the Clinton's and the dems wanted to invade Iraq before Bush and the dems supported the resolution to invade Iraq then demonized Bush for it when he did it.

Also you should throw something in there about how Russia, UK, etc all suspected that he had WMD's for the simple fact that we sold them to him.

That ought to really twist his panties in a bunch.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 08:43 PM
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When I do satire on ATS (and i do a lot here)and a lot of people agree with me.
I know that something is wrong.
I just don't understand what.

maybe its just all of us crazies this site.



posted on Jan, 17 2009 @ 10:23 PM
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Thanks, for the comments, if your still interested, I did a large revision, I don't know if it made it any better, but if you want anymore humor:
In the recent election, both candidates promised change for some reason, I can’t imagine why, our government has already had so many good ideas. The financial bailout, the national debt, the Iraq War, and the No Child Left Behind Act were all great ideas that contributed greatly to the democratic heritage of this great nation.

Let’s take the financial bailout for instance. They found a way to spend your money without going to all the work of finding out where it’s going! It discourages those nasty habits of saving. When Treasury Secretary Paulsen says to give him a 700 billion dollar check, we better do it, because he knows the situation best himself, because he was an honest Wall Street executive before! I don’t know why it’s called a bailout, there is only a need for minor tweaking and a need for more compensation for business executives, I mean, were only doing minor repairs, its not like it’s going to implode and sent us into a recession. It also had the added benefit that the plan eliminated any risk for businesses, which is a great way to run one, risk-free. For example, why not make loans to anyone who applies? The other great part of it was that is that it gave great compensation to businesses executives! We need to take care of the undercompensated CEO’s by giving them multi-million dollar bonuses, especially in hard times. Of course, this economic bailout bill was all part of the plan. The government stood up and refused to listen to the fools saying that the housing bubble was going to burst. The bailout was well-crafted, well planned-out, and carefully thought-out beforehand. When this minor glitch came about, they were ready to deal with it once. They were never surprised, they were always ready for the challenge.

Another great idea was government debt, isn’t it just great! The 10 trillion dollar debt is just a start. Some people think this is too much, but how can you possibly have too much of a good thing? As true Americans, we are materialistic and consumers by habit. We can extend that to the national debt, spendy and trendy! It was all part of the plan to promote our materialistic values! Our great government used all its tools at its disposal to improve it: the Iraq War, pork-barrel spending, and government subsidies for alternative energy were all crucial to the safety and growth of America. It made sure that future generations worked hard. Debt has its advantages, look at Ethanol subsides, it cause food prices to shoot skyward and depleted the ground water. There was no need to cut spending one bit. Despite all these advantages, some people think we need to cut debt.

Another great idea was the Iraq War. Look at all the things it accomplished: We were able to enforce our views of government on other people, we rid the world of all those dangerous chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction; Also, we wiped out all the aid that was being given to the 9-11 hijackers! We should totally believe the US Government when they tell us these things. Only 200,000 American lives and a couple of gazillion dollars did that work itself out, all in all, a good cause. In addition, we saved all those Iraqi’s from the boring stability Saddam Hussein! I don’t think there was any way to avoid this, diplomacy obviously wouldn’t work, and economic sanctions are such a thing of the past. War is such a better option to these old-fashioned tools. Finally, we transformed the Middle East into a stable democratic paradise.

The best idea of all was the No Child Left Behind Act. It definitely succeeded by withholding funding to under performing schools. It also benefited us by narrowing our set of skills only to test taking in Math and English. By taking more time for preparing for these tests, we are able to dispense with actual learning. How great! I always love lots of tests. Test here, test there, it’s a great way to evaluate students. Only a genius could realize that we can just mandate that schools do better, instead of actually providing funding and resources! It is the only way to go, other forms of evaluating students are terrible ideas, and take too long.

In conclusion, our government did some great things, and took a long time to think out these light decisions. Government never went into any shady dealings with foreign leaders, and always had our best interests at heart. They did what was always right and could never improve. I can’t wait for this new administration and all the good ideas, I can hardly wait! Government always plowed ahead, without being bothered by public opinion, and was always ready to “Put Country First”.



posted on Jan, 21 2009 @ 11:53 AM
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I liked it. Your revision was better. But did you still start it the same way, because I find the first paragraph unclear, I get what you're trying to say, but I think it need rewording just a bit.


I just love our government, don’t you? I mean, look at them, we are helping other people all over the world, and our own economy! We help other people, and we take everything into consideration. I wish our government was like all the other ones around the world.


I've underlined the part that is unclear... "but what about our own economy?" instead.

You either need to change that to a question as I did above or add a negative. It's unclear how different our government is from other ones around the world, you need to add a comparison word in the mix. I wish our government was..... "as socially responsible"... or ... "as heartless"... etc. etc.



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