Is There Ever A Reason To Hit A Woman? Yes

reply to post by jdub297


reply to post by yeahright

If you feel so justified, why don't you run this by your local law enforcement agency instead of an anonymous forum?

Uhhh... because he wants discussion, Captain (Obvious).

You will not find support among the enlightened. Go away, hitter.

Hahahahahaha... now ATS is divulging into domain of first year of high school, and, infact, 4chan. I almost was going to respond with a 'no u'. Seriously man, grow up. "Go away, Hitter". Weak.

You will not find support among the enlightened.

Enlightened? That's a stretch.

_________________________

Sorry, but if someone unbuckled there seat belt, leans over, and starts repeatedly, quickly punching you, hard, in the FACE, then hitting them is the WRONG thing to do? NO, hitting them is the RIGHT thing to do. Evidently, it wasn't hard, evidently, it stopped the abuse. It sounds like 1984 did the right thing to do, and I would of probably done the same.

I'm sick of these moral police, internet experts who think they know more about a relationship them the person in question themselves. And it's even worse when it's based on a FORUM POST.

Place these people on your ignore list 1984.

Is it OK to hit a Women? The real question should be, is it ok to hit anyone? The answer to both them questions is no, with a but. It's only OK in self defense, where it is too difficult to restrain them.

[edit on 16/1/2009 by C0bzz]

What a pathetic civilization! The system does not allow you to defend yourself(it feeds itself through taking your power time and $), police, lawyers, prosecutors, judges, doctors, nurses, social workers, shelters, bars, drugdealers...All stay in business because of their beloved psychopaths.
“Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.” – John Lennon, before his murder by CIA mind-control subject Mark David Chapman

I was in a relationship with a hitter. That makes me ashamed. I'm a very liberal feminist and preached to all my friends and relatives how no man would EVER control me or abuse me, I'd leave him the first tme he ever tried. Fast forward a few years and I find myself in love with guy who does hit me and try to control every aspect of my life.

The first time he hit me was because he didn't like the fact that I had made friends with a girl in our block of flats who happened to be gay (I'm straight as a board, he had no need to worry!). I came home from coffee and girly chats when he belted me hard across the face, Enough to give me a black eye. I was horrified...but..I beleived him when he said he was sorry and he would never do it again...I am so ashamed now of how stupid I was!

I stayed with that guy for five years, hoping that he would change, believeing that he would. The last time I saw him was in the back of a cop car - He'd come to my job and beat me up, another fit of jealousy. The cop took me aside and very bluntly told me that if I didn't leave this guy NOW he'd end up killing me. I don't know why but that broke the spell.

People who say ( I was one of them ) that if he hits you once, LEAVE, are usually right. I thought I was too smart to ever let that happen to me, I was wrong.

Today I'm in a relationship with a man who made it very clear that violence is not ever acceptable. He is the most gentle man I've ever known.

Violence is never acceptable, from man or woman. If someone hits you, please don't waste time, LEAVE THEM. YOU deserve better!

As for the OP, I don't think you did anything wrong in the circumstances, sure you could have done differently, but you didn't, can't go back in time.

Personally I would NEVER hit another person unless I was defending myself.

I was on the receiving end of punches and slaps when I was living with my first boyfriend. I was 18 and he would use me as his punching bag for about 3 years until one day when he was at work, I packed all my stuff anf my Dad came and got me.

He popped my eardrum and I had to have it fixed; he broke all the blood vessels in the white part of my left eye; he split my lip on a few occasions and I often had bruises and scratches. I was very lucky that he never broke my bones or teeth. He would always say how sorry he was and of course, like the idiotic I was, I would forgive him.

Sometimes I feel that I would like to bump in to him again somewhere as I am a lot older now and have learned not to be scared of men like that. I have never really had closure on this because I never got to tell him just exactly what a puke he became.

It took me years to trust men again and I actually became quite withdrawn but when I met my husband of 25 years, I knew that I would always be safe with him and he would never raise his hand to me in anger.

I absolutely abhor men who treat women like this so they can enforce their authority or to try prove how powerful they are. In fact, they are weak as p**s and if some guy was to hang it on them, they would freak like the wimps they really are.

To the OP...I think you did the right thing that night and you do not sound like the kind of guy who would deliberately hit a woman. Please do not be too hard on yourself and rest assured that if you had not acted the way you did, the night may have ended tragically.


take care all
res

edit for spelling

[edit on 16-1-2009 by resistancia]

I have always had the idea that if someone hit me, I was going to hit them back if I was still standing. So I fully expect that if I hit someone (male or female) they are as sure as Hell going to hit me back. So I make it a habit of NOT hitting people.

I am pretty lucky, my hubby is very laid back and doesn't even argue with me, let alone threaten violence.

To the OP you did the right thing imo.

reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984


I think this is all down to personal experience, many who have not experienced abuse etc from females will almost always say never hit a woman back.

My own mother used to cheat on my father and take me with her to the guys places. Ive been locked in cupboards, left in my own crap as a little boy in the bath who couldnt go on his own while she was busy in bed and beaten by her anytime I tried to tell my father what was going on and im talking blood etc.

She then went on a drinking spree that still continues to this day. Some of the things such as coming down in the morning with her drunk out of her mind sleeping in her own vomit, waking me up during the night hitting me telling me ive stolen her false teeth as she was that drunk she had lost them (I mean wtf), getting a hairdryer cracked off your head as a teenager for asking for some money to go to the cinema etc. Many more that most wouldnt believe.

Watching my mother kick the living daylights out of my father from about 6 years old and watching my father refuse to hit back. He would eventually start hitting things in the home everytime she would hit him but never let his temper get the better of him, you could say the house was damaged a lot and I came from a middle class family which is not the stereotypical media viewpoint.

At the age of around 13 or 14 I had, had enough and knocked my mother out when she was beating me up with one punch to her chin after warning her for half an hour. Made me a bit confused as my father then kicked my ass telling me never hit a woman.

I still get around 40 missed calls per day with her saying I ruined her life for some reason, no joke but im an adult now and some day she might sober up but ill not be holding my breath thats for sure.

Anyways that is why I now adopt the attitude that females should be hit back in self defence after a warning and I hope you can see why. I do not care what the judiciary system says quite frankly because it never protected me or helped me when I needed it.



[edit on 16-1-2009 by XXXN3O]

There is a huge difference between a man that is a controlling abuser and a man that is defending himself. An abuser uses fear, manipulation and when nothing else works to control his woman he resorts to physical violence. That sort of thing in my book is NEVER acceptable.

Self defense is another matter altogether. I have seen my own daughters slap the daylights out of their boyfriends and the restraint they used amazed me. There is a difference in a slap and a punch, but it is never right to strike someone you claim to love. I hate it when women feel they can hit, punch, throw things at a man and then use the old "I am a woman and you can't hit me".

IF you don't want anyone to put their hands on you, keep them to yourself. I cannot blame any man for defending himself, BUT, a man rarely needs to use the full measure of their strength to defend themselves against a woman.

Being a very hot tempered woman I love the way my husband, views this. He would never hit me, EVER. I have violated and chucked a few things in his direction back 10 years ago when we were a bit younger, but he didn't retaliate. He says with not one bit of hesitation, "if I ever have to hit the woman I love to get my point across to her or defend myself, it is over" I know that he would leave me no matter what if things got that out of control.

Violence in a relationship is never right, but any person, male or female has the right to defend themselves.

Unfortunately I have been in a number of encounters with out of control women.

One was a girl who was finishing her college degree in finance and she had a nasty drug habit. If you met her and even if you got to know her she would come across as a sweet all american very inteligent woman.

Unknown to me she had left her stash in my house and I stumbled across it and confronted her.

She stabbed me with a screwdriver to get her "package" back.

All I did after the initial poke was disarm her and called the cops.

Guess what? The police did not believe me. lol. She, being a very beautiful women had them from the word "help me I am blonde and needy and this bigbad man made me stab him" lol

Second time...different girl...hit me on the back of the head with a fireplace ash shovel......once again I grabbed the shovel...bleeding like a stuck pig and she conned the police. lol (she called them cause she was afraid I would reteliate which i did not)

In both cases i did not press the issue but after the second time my tolerance has evolved and i no longer allow "anybody" around me unless I am very sure they are safe. (that is women)

Men are more predictable. If they get pissed they will give you a warning before they pounce. lol

You don't want to hear what normal people say. Try this; does this fit into your imagination?

Cut her up. Put the little picecs in bags you can carry out without notice.

What are you looking for here? Affirmation?

You are sick. Go away, hitter.

i had to laugh at the absurdidy of some people saying it was still never okay ti hit a woman (even when barreling down a road at 70 mph, which by the way, is putting more people than just the driver at risk...) and the people saying that his first mistake was not putting an end to it when "less harmful" hitting started. What if a battered woman was told that same logic?
"Well it's pretty much your fault Mrs. Smith. I'd like to feel sorry for you, really i would, but you could have prevented this if you had left him when he first yelled at you."
????
Of course there can be situations where it is called for, nothing is totally black and white. Don't worry OP, if you are having issues wondering if you are a woman beater I think it's safe to say you acted appropriatly in that PARTICULAR situation.

Originally posted by whiteraven
She stabbed me with a screwdriver to get her "package" back.

All I did after the initial poke was disarm her and called the cops.

Similar thing happened to my brother.

His (now ex-) wife stabbed him - chronic alcoholic. He disarmed her and called the cops.

They took him away and laid a domestic violence charge on him. From the moment the cops got there, it was all about him. Cops took him in cuffs to the emergency room for stitches (standing guard the whole time), then to the station. Did a few months in lockup and community service. In Canada, if you're male, there's pretty much no way to beat that charge. Filed for divorce and she got the house, because of the domestic charge. Took him for just about everything he had. Destroyed his life.

I guess the moral is this: there's so much of a social stigma attached to ANY kind of violence towards women - defensive or otherwise - that you're best off not doing anything.

...and run for the hills as soon as the smoke clears. Pack your bags, cut off all contact, and start over, because if it happens once, it'll happen again. And no matter what, you will not have the law on your side. Even if she shoots you, there will be lawyers willing to claim mental abuse or somesuch to spin it on you. Get out, stay out, and move on. Some things just aren't worth it.

reply to post by XXXN3O


XXXN3O... man.. that's a truly awful story! I hope everything turned out OK for you dude!

IRM

reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984


dude yeah right **SNIP** you, you had no right or reason to strike her, it would have required the same amount of energy to hold you hand up and block her blows, or hold her hands or swat her punches away, you had no need to hit her, you just did it becuase you lost self control, and being a martial artists you were taught self control most people never learn. So in conclusion no, you were not in the right to hit her, you lost control and are trying to justify it by saying you would have lost control of the car.
just man up and admit you lost control of yourself for a moment and did something completely unforgivable. There are few things in life as low as hitting a woman or child.....

its disgusting dude. I don't care how you try to rationalize it in your head, it was out of line and you should be punished for it.

that being said, heres a joke: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice. ZING!!!!

but in all seriousness, you never hit a girl, and stop trying to justify what you did, **SNIP** . and I've met criminals who would look down their nose at you and be completely justified for doing so.

lame you disgust me, and I hope you get whats coming to you, its almost worst that you've tried to rationalize it by saying you would have lost control of the car.... SNIP


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[edit on 16-1-2009 by Crakeur]

I've never hit a woman, it's thankfully never had to come to that.

Each time I talk to someone and this issue comes up, I've noticed that many believe there are times when a smacking is deserved, while others will say, "Oh, I'd rather have the lady beat me to death". (Never understood the lack of self perservation in that.)

I myself am on the fence. On one hand, I do see males as a physically stronger sex, and I've never been one to fight with someone weaker/smaller then myself. I guess that's where the most of my "on the fence" feelings come from.

But women have wanted equal rights, and all that which it embodies. So I suppose, technically, it is "ok" to hit a woman.

I'm not saying go outside and bitch slap the first woman you see , but I'd say it's about the same as hitting a man. You do it when you have to, not because it's funny, or because you're tough.

Ok, I don't know where I'm going with this, carry on.

Peace,
FK

reply to post by XXXN3O

I hope that hasn't influenced your relationships with women, we are not all like that but there are a lot of women around who do that. Hate to say it but I've witnessed enough female-instigated against both sexes that I automatically question if any woman who complains she is "abused" is lying. More often than not they are, or it's a two-way situation.
Sorry, but I've said it before and I will say it again, men are not "dogs" and they have every right to be treated with diginity and respect.

I came from an abusive background with my father but I still stand, if you are woman enough to hit a man be woman enough to take a hit. It is not fair for any individual to stand there and take abuse. Now I don't mean to deck her a good one and kick while she is down, but enough to get attention and let her know that are serious is usually enough to get a womans attention. Then they know that you will no longer just lay down and take it. So yes, I don't condemn the OP for what he did. I have told my husband that if I ever hit him then by all means, hit me back. Some one get to big for the britches and abuse the no hitting rule. It is not ok.

reply to post by smokecrops


Here comes the internet moral police again.



i42.tinypic.com...

you, you had no right or reason to strike her,

Yes, he did. She struck him, when driving a car at pretty much 100km/h. In the face, repeatedly, even after he told her to stop. He struck her back, once, to stop the abuse. That is self defense. Or is the 'manly' thing to do, put up with the abuse, them calmy pull over, all while the car is swerving all over the road?


And yet here you are, a few thousand miles away, criticizing peoples actions, even though you weren't there. You read a single paragraph. Get real. I bet you, if 1984 had been killed, you would be sitting there and asking... 'why didn't he stop the abuse'. Get real.

[edit on 16/1/2009 by C0bzz]

reply to post by YourForever


Typical liberal spin. Women lost the right of being precious and gentle during the 60's with the bra burning and the right to kill unborn babies. I am not conding going around and smacking every woman one comes across, but if a woman feels the need to slap a man around she had better be prepared to get as good as she can give.

Originally posted by secretagent woooman
reply to post by XXXN3O

 

I hope that hasn't influenced your relationships with women, we are not all like that but there are a lot of women around who do that. Hate to say it but I've witnessed enough female-instigated against both sexes that I automatically question if any woman who complains she is "abused" is lying. More often than not they are, or it's a two-way situation.
Sorry, but I've said it before and I will say it again, men are not "dogs" and they have every right to be treated with diginity and respect.

I would say it has influenced if I get into arguments as I walk away rather than even bother stating my opinion. It has made me determined to be a better parent but I recognise that it could lead to, too much attention ie spoiling a kid and is something that needs to be kept in check.

I often wonder what could possibly have happened to my mother to make her the way she is but that is one answer I will never find im afraid.

I tried to question her with a "Why" a while back about it but she denies it happened and its all in my head. I found out from some of her old friends she had fallen out with that it was not the case and they were shocked when I mentioned a lot of the names of people as I was so young they did not think I would remember. I also have my father and sister to back me up with the other areas fortunately. Its like trying to talk to a brick wall though.

I think I am one of the lucky ones in that respect as I kept my sanity where others facing similar have lost it.

Im a firm believer in looking at both sides of the coin and we are the same species therefore anything one sex can do another can do just as bad be it mentally or physically.

I do think that mental abuse is far worse than physical. Id take a guys beatings any day to say the least.

I would say that a lot of abusers etc might not actually even be aware of it because it has been considered normal throughout the family generations until one is capable of making a decision to break that chain if that makes sense.

One thing I do have to work on though is taking orders from female bosses as it brings back a lot of memories and its not exactly something you bring up with your boss lol.



[edit on 16-1-2009 by XXXN3O]

HAHA!

This is one hilarious thread.
But I agree this "nevr hit a woman" crap is just that.
if a woman has the gall to hit me, I will hit her back.

I had to beat up a couple large lesbians a couple years ago, and I have no regrets.