Is There Ever A Reason To Hit A Woman? Yes

interesting story for the younger crowd.
my husband's brother use to tease their step sister, especially when their mom and dad left to go somewhere. he would tie her up to the outside of the stair railings, on the outside, which was a long drop to the ground, and so on. one day he had been especially mean to her. so she waited (she was like 7 years old at the time) till he went to sleep, got a monkey wrench (a big one, the old heavy duty kind) and snuck into his room and hit him in the head with it. he survived although with a nasty lump and a headache.

suffice it to say, she got in a lot of trouble and he never teased her again.

ouch.

moral of the story: don't push people past their limits, if at all possible. it may manifest in unforeseen ways and that's gonna be bad for all involved.

If it's self defense because she has a weapon then that's fine, I say " Deck her ". If it's love, jealousy, it takes two to tangle then NO!, leave, walk away even if she keeps hitting you as long as your life isn't in danger. To me it all depends on the situation. If she hits like a man then by all means protect yourself even if it mean showing her how a real man hits. I'm against hitting a girl/woman just because she didn't agree with you or slept with another man etc...

To the OP I would of pulled the car over and kicked her out of the car. If she came at me with a knife then she doesn't love me and I would of put her down quick. Luckily I've never had a woman come at me with a knife, only handcuffs.

[edit on 1/15/2009 by Solarskye]

It's my philosophy to never get in a fight unless it's a life or death situation, and even in that case it's wisest to just run if possible. With the training I've had, I could just as easily restrain someone than hurt them. You don't prove anything by getting into fights.
Is it alright to hit a woman? Only in the most extreme self-defense situations, such as the op's car example (assuming he couldn't just pull over.) Women, however, do get more passes than men just because their bodies are on average weaker than a man's and thus don't pose as much as a threat unarmed.

I want to throw my 2 cents into the pot on this one...

If a man ever strikes a female in which there is no physical provocation by the female at all, you are indeed a scumbag. You're just an angry little, little man with a lot of issues going on on the inside. Doesn't matter if she called you a lowlife no good -insert nasty name- or invoked your dead mother's name, you just throw her out on the street and let that be that.

With that being said, there has been a massive movement for equal rights. Women want equality with men. Also, I have seen some very very shall we say "manly" women in my time. If a woman has it in her head that because she is a woman she can try and harm you and get away with it... you have two options: If the woman is of the small statured, petite type... restrain her. Hold her down as peacefully as possible until she calms down or the cops get there. Situation number 2, if she is a manly woman or if she has a weapon, in my honest opinion you have every right to defend yourself and that includes physical contact with that woman. Stand your moral ground and be beat within an inch of your life or shot or stabbed? No, don't think so. "If you want to fight like a man, I'll fight you like a man"

Please no flames... I advocated only defending ones self when you are in danger...

Of course there is. If there is no dinner on the table by a certain time, oh my she's going to feel my backhand.

[edit on 15-1-2009 by Angry Potato]

You should put that to rest in your mind. That was self-defense. Not the same as being abusive at all.

I know how you feel though. I once had to knock a drunk girlfriend on her butt because she had a 30 lb. ceramic piece in the air getting ready to break it over my head while I was mowing the lawn. She had it in full swing and the only way I could avoid it was to knock her whole body away from me. I'd have either been dead or hospitalized. Why did she do that; she said she had a dream and I cheated on her in the dream. She had chugged most of a fifth out of my cabinet while I was doing yard work. Passed out, had the dream and tried to kill me. Turned out she was just a crazy drunk. I learned not to pick up girls at parties any more. Go figure.

I forgot to mention that that night I woke up to a bonfire made out of matches on my chest with her laughing at me. I tossed her physically out the door and that was the end of that relationship.

The answer is yes, there are times when hitting anyone is appropriate. Saving your own life is one of them.

[edit on 1/15/2009 by Blaine91555]

[edit on 1/15/2009 by Blaine91555]

Originally posted by Angry Potato
Of course there is. If there is no dinner on the table by a certain time, oh my she's going to feel my backhand.

[edit on 15-1-2009 by Angry Potato]

God I hope you are joking? If not your a real piece of crap my friend.

I have told my sons (and daughters) that for a man to hit a woman is cowardly and despicable. The caveat to that is that a woman can NOT be acting like a man at the time.

If a woman wants to be treated like a lady then she needs to act like one. In my opinion, a woman gives up the right to be treated like a lady when she starts acting like a man. And if she wants to act like a man she needs to at least act like a decent man and not hit people.

I have seen some women I felt like popping myself. Being drunk and psychotic is no more an excuse for a female than it is for a male. Poor impulse control is unacceptable in either gender.

On the other hand, men and women fight differently and usually for different reasons. Men will fight each other and then have a couple of beers together afterward. Women, if provoked to the fighting stage, will have your corpse biodegrading in the tomato patch. There will be no beers afterward.

Warning, guys...women can be viscious.

Originally posted by ImaginaryReality1984
I've put this in the politics thread because i really think it will be a political thing, or at least a moral one. If the all mighty mods decide it doesn't belong here then i have no issue with it being moved somewhere else.

The thread title says it all really but i wanted to give some background.

I was always raised that hitting a woman was never the correct thing and if you do then you are a scumbag. I still believe this but only up to a point after some personal experience. I will state this experience and see if ATS members think it was wrong.

Years back i was dating a girl who was a little wild. After maybe 6 months of dating she started hitting slightly but i ignored it, i mean i was a full contact martial artist, getting hit by her wasn't a massive problem. This all changed during a car journey.

I was driving down the motorway at around 65 MPH, we're having a discussion and she goes ballistic, she starts pounding on me as hard as she can. I had a great deal of trouble controlling the car, i shouted at her to leave me alone and she doesn't. My only option was to strike out because if i hadn't i am damn sure I'd have crashed that car. I was being hit in the head and shoulder repeatedly and i was swerving because of it.

I split up with her soon after and she was treated for some kind of psychosis. The point here is that if i hadn't struck out in that situation then it's very possible i would have crashed and killed us both and yet i still feel disgusted by having to hit a woman, i mean i really feel truly awful about it even though it was justified.

If a woman comes at you with a knife can you defend yourself? This also happened with the same girl earlier on in the relationship and i restrained her without causing damage. For all those who think i was nuts to stay with her, well i was in love so leave me alone please.

Basically we are taught it's never right to strike a woman, but i think there are certain, rare cases where it is acceptable, like when you are against a woman with mental health problems.

Walk away from her and realise her gob is worth #e. That will make her think more than a kick in the eye. There is no excuse to hit a woman or a child ever. I do assume if a child was pissing you off you'd do the same to them. What kind of tyrant are you.

I do assume that you leaving her hurts. But in your case it may be a blessing.

I was at a party once and a girl was in my face so I punched her lights out, it was awesome, all her male friends just stood there, gutless ashburton wimps

Originally posted by NathanNewZealand
I was at a party once and a girl was in my face so I punched her lights out, it was awesome, all her male friends just stood there, gutless ashburton wimps

They probably thought you were a psychopath. I hope one of them had the guts to call in the police. You seem proud of this. I worry less about you than the girl you were seeking to physically dominate, subordinate, intimidate and victimise.

When I was @13 or so a friend of mine (guy) got into a heated argument
with a fellow student (girl) over teenage nothingness. If there was ever a
fight, it would be behind the library after school. Well the girl challenged him
to a fight after school

The match up - The guy short, but strong and known for fighting VS. The girl
was the tallest in school and a brute, tomboy with a big mouth.

He said he wasn't gonna fight because it was after all "a girl". She called him
a "p" word, called him scared etc. They both ended up behind the library with
a huge crowd. He kept saying, "I'm not gonna fight you" over and over, while
she yelled in his face and pushed him.

She finally punched him square in the face, he went down. But only for a
second. He pounced back up and delivered about 3 punches till she went
down crying.

Most memorable fight of middle school. While I don't think you should hit
a girl, I think he did what most at that age would have done. I don't think
he wanted to go into high school as the guy that beat up by a girl.

No one called the cops, she took a swing and it didnt quite make it, cos my fist made it to her mask first, bammo! Ha ha, women shouldnt hit men cos men hit harder.

I spent 10 years in this situation... ex had a drinking problem, I don't believe in divorce...worse, I HAD to stay around because if i didn't she was "the type" who would have used my children not remembering me to distance me... and remove me from their lives...

In other words I was screwed, attacked with knives hit... and yeah she thought because she was a girl she could get away with it...

and she was Right

I did on ONE occasion call the cops on her, she had thrown something through a window and hit me repeatedly

They laughed at me

I never belted her, but I pushed back at times raised my voice, got in her face, and restrained her when she got too violent...

That

Got ME arrested 1 x... for sitting on her after I had been punched in the head 10x and hit with a beer bottle

"there was phyisical contact"


You can't win in America if you so much as touch them back, there is nothing you can do...

Right? Wrong?

Doesn't much matter right now they have that ability mostly, your going to need to luck out on the cops that happen to arrive if she is hitting you, if you so much as grabbed her arm to stop it, some cops might bring you down not her...

It's a gamble at best to call the cops...

Now... I would add, the Reality IS

I was never in any danger, even when she pulled knives... it was a ridiculous concept, but...the laws says I basically can't defend myself...

My only advice is:

LEAVE

I couldn't... My children would never have known me, I had to sit through it until they were old enough

But the system is not fair to men

There's nothing you can do but leave...

Mostly people say "pull over"

But I was in that EXACT same situation Once...

and here is the problem... (I had to sit through a year of classes lol)

You Love them, you don't want them to go to jail... pull over on the side of the road, your going too... if you had a drink or at least she is you don't go unnoticed pulled over on the highway with a screaming drunk girl...

The system for it's reasons likes to divide the family unit

I think what happens is allot of us (myself included) make bad choices... we date who we have FUN with and don;t think about later on and can end upo with a person with real problems

But the system will not allow you to "fight it through" like Grandma and Grandpa used to...they want you to dissolve the situation and there is little you can do faced with substance abuse or mental illness But Leave OR involve the system...

and that's something i think most guys myself included ...would rather smack a woman than do to a woman...

because you know the system won't "help" her... jail is dangerous, if you have kids they could choose to take them... so Guys fight back... thinking they can just "stop" what is happening

but

If you have kids and you have to stay... I made it a long time 8 years after I got in trouble... you need to learn to walk way, shut the heck up...

or give up

But fighting won't work

and the thing your learn too is, if your with a person in that condition

They don't have a clear view of what "consequences" are, they will hit you even if you hit back... they are nuts, it never will work...

so... anyone in this situation..if You can, RUN, drop everything... economic dependence sometimes prevents this... better be a bum and rent a room somewhere, if you can get away do and if you have kids and need to stay, get it in your head to shut up and swallow it so you can make it until the kids are old enough

but fighting back physically is useless

And btw.. from experience, if your spouse hits from substance abuse (99% of the time)

Don't enable...

I kept thinking she was like me but younger... "she'd out grow it" "she would mature"

NOPE

Addicts have a serious problem, I drank tons in my life and reached my 30's and now hardly ever do..that's most people, but you can tell who is a HOLIC of any kid because they change dramatically when "on" it, whole personality is different, mice person that becomes mean etc, etc...

You can't Fix it... it's a life long issue, they were screwed with it 99% of the time before they ever met you, it won't go away

Biggest mistake I ever made was to indulge it... i wasn't ready to "not go out anymore" etc, etc...

so i'd join in on the drinking and then your screwed because she flips out and even if you handle it 100%...your still buzzed when the cops show, so they think your just some drunk ass when she tells a bs story to them and your going to get screwed...

But it will NEVER go away, ever, unless they Go get help and you can never make them...

and some people will blame you, just because it's a woman involved, you can do no right...

So IF you choose to "stay" you can never indulge substances either, you need to be a monk a patient monk of a man to pull it off...

Like I said... Run if you can

This looks like a boy's excuse to hit women. When women are going ott with me I walk away and refuse to listen. In evolutionary terms men have the fists and women need influence. So taking that away is a mortal blow.

Anyway, I don't think you want to tame women, rather have an excuse to hit them with your inadequancies.

Such is the average American.

Originally posted by Angry Potato
Of course there is. If there is no dinner on the table by a certain time, oh my she's going to feel my backhand.

[edit on 15-1-2009 by Angry Potato]

gee I am glad I am not your partner because if you demanded dinner at a cetain time and then I felt the back of your hand, you would end up with a face full of food.

The meat and two veg would not be so good either

jerk



take care all
res

reply to post by ImaNutter


I agree with everything you said.

The bottom line is for everyone be they men or women - keep your hands to youself unless you have to defend.


take care all
res


[edit on 15-1-2009 by resistancia]

Women voted for equal rights?

So if a woman is beating on you, causing a life threatining situation. HIT HER!

No one cares about morals if it kills you.

If a woman wants to take the role of being the primary aggressor in a situation like that then I would try to restrain her. If she took it to the level of hitting me with a closed fist or kicking me in the nuts, all bets are off. If she's going to try to hit me like a man, she's going to get treated like one.