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Is There Ever A Reason To Hit A Woman? Yes

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posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:47 PM
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I don't believe in hitting the bearer of our children. Hitting a woman is moraly wrong to me personaly. I have never hit a woman but i have used some martial arts training to subdue them without harming them and calmly asked them to stop. Self defense comes in many ways. If i cannot reason, I release them and run away. It might come off as cowardly but I would rather run from a situation that would rot my personal beliefe and moral code rather than put it on the line.

That being said, I agree that you could have easily pulled the car over and tried to handle the situation without violence coming from your end. Most of the time it is easier to stop and give the horse water then to beat it to run faster.




posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:53 PM
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Originally posted by yeahright
Depends upon how you position the question. It's always acceptable to use appropriate force to defend yourself. So if the question is, "Is it ok to use force to physically defend yourself?" The answer is, of course it is.

However (in my opinion) the FIRST TIME she belted you, you knew what you had. You hung around. Loving her so much you couldn't leave her doesn't square with not loving her enough to keep from smacking her. You're with someone who hits, earlier in the relationship attacks you with a knife, and has what you recognized as mental health problems. Sorry, got to say you don't get a pass for hitting her.

At least, as far as I'm concerned.




No no let me be clear, i didn't know she had issues until afterwards. I was blinded by love, and i hate saying that but it's true. The knife thing scared the hell out of me but i restrained her with my training without causing any damage and she was so sorry afterwards so i just thought she got passionate (she thought i had cheated, and no i hadn't).

You say i don't get a pass, wel li can tell you i still feel horrible about it but if i hadn't done it then i would have crashed the car into the central reservation and we'd both have been dead or injured. Decide how you will.

For the other posters. I could have pulled over but putting her outside on the motorway isn't legal i don't believe and is also dangerous to her. The first time she hit me i thought it was just a cute thing, she didn't beat the hell out of me, just the odd hit on the chest or arm and i thought it was cute.

As for staying with her. Well i was young and thought i was in love when i wasn't, how many people make that mistake? I'm only 23 now and i was 18 then so forgive me that mistake.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:54 PM
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reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984
 

Imaginary Reality 1984,

I have to ask if there were any contributing factors such as alcohol? I could see such a night happening thanks to the almighty legal but deadly drug that this society continues to condone.

The situation sounds sticky but there had to been something that led to her getting angry to the point of hitting you. I am not saying that it is ok, but I think the situation could have been handled better.

Was there some reason you could not stop the vehicle?



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:55 PM
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Originally posted by LeTan
That being said, I agree that you could have easily pulled the car over and tried to handle the situation without violence coming from your end. Most of the time it is easier to stop and give the horse water then to beat it to run faster.


Lets be clear, you are travelling 65 MPH down a crowded motorway. You are swerving endangering yourself, your passenger and other motorists. Pulling over is difficult at best. I didn't beat her to a pulp for the record, just one hit to calm her down, which worked. I coudln't use my training to restrain her because i was strapped into a car and unable to perform any kind of move that coudl work in that situation.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:55 PM
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Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothin', you done told her twice already!


All kidding aside, I've been attacked a time or two by a psychotic girlfriend years ago. I never even thought about using any more force than I needed to in order to physically restrain her until she calmed down.

On the other hand, I'm not sure how I'd react if a woman charged at me with a knife. I'm guessing the bigger the knife, the better chance you're gonna' have of getting knocked silly. Hopefully I'll never have to find out!

Never hit a woman, that's what I was taught...and I never have. Like everything else though, I suppose there's always some possibility for there to be an exception to the rule.

Peace



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:55 PM
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Look...with all semantics aside....

If she CAN physically harm me and begins to do this AFTER being told not to - I would at the very least body slam her...

You don't get to cry "gender" when physically attacking me...you only get to do that in a divorce...





posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:57 PM
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Originally posted by slicendice
Imaginary Reality 1984,

I have to ask if there were any contributing factors such as alcohol? I could see such a night happening thanks to the almighty legal but deadly drug that this society continues to condone.


No there were no drugs or alcohol in her system. I know because i had been with her for the previous 18 hours.


Originally posted by slicendice
The situation sounds sticky but there had to been something that led to her getting angry to the point of hitting you. I am not saying that it is ok, but I think the situation could have been handled better.

Was there some reason you could not stop the vehicle?



I was on a crowded motorway swerving, so no i couldn't pull over instantly like that. What led her to getting angry was she continued to think i was cheating on her as i had talked to a girl at the party we had attended. As i said she is now under treatment for psychosis which includes paranoia. She was a heavy dope user before our relationship which i didn't find out until later.


Just to lay the situation out for a second. Imagine someone pounding you in the head, whilst driving at 65 MPH and then tell me about pulling over to deal with it. If you ever get in that situation you will see it's not that easy.


[edit on 15-1-2009 by ImaginaryReality1984]



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:02 PM
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The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

Sorry, my answer stands. The question was, is it ever ok to hit a woman. My response is, in a physical defense situation where it's your only option. The first time. And if you hang around after she hits you (not in a "cute playful way" but in a malicious intending to do harm way) then it's on YOU.

I hear the same stuff from guys wanting to defend cheating. Sorry, no excuse. Leave the frst one permanently, then go off and do whatever.

My point is, actions and inactions have consequences. You may not be able to control her behavior, but you can control yours. If it's ever escalated to the point of being physical, and you stay, then you lose the moral standing to use her actions as an excuse. To me.

As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:04 PM
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reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984
 




Nothing will cloud a persons good judgement quite like love can.

Love has been the downfall of many a good man. It will make you do things you would never do under any other circumstances.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:06 PM
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Speaking as a woman -

When a lady ceases to behave like a lady and begins acting like a "man", it is perfectly acceptable to treat her as such.

I've know far too many females who will use the "but I'm a girl" excuse to try and justify their irrational and uncomely behavior.

Most guys won't randomly strike a female anyway - she's usually doing something to provoke it.

To the OP - I would have done the same in your situation.

*edit to clarify

[edit on 1/15/09 by GENERAL EYES]



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:07 PM
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Originally posted by YourForever

Originally posted by ImaginaryReality1984
I was driving down the motorway at around 65 MPH, we're having a discussion and she goes ballistic, she starts pounding on me as hard as she can.


I think the question is... why did you date a psychotic? I'm sure you saw the signs before that point.


Hey, its not always apparent from the start of any relationship. I was in one for 4 years before I got out. She used to have one hell of a temper and hit me and throw glasses at me for relatively minor things like forgetting to put the toilet seat down after using it



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:07 PM
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Originally posted by yeahright
Sorry, my answer stands. The question was, is it ever ok to hit a woman. My response is, in a physical defense situation where it's your only option. The first time. And if you hang around after she hits you (not in a "cute playful way" but in a malicious intending to do harm way) then it's on YOU.

I hear the same stuff from guys wanting to defend cheating. Sorry, no excuse. Leave the frst one permanently, then go off and do whatever.

My point is, actions and inactions have consequences. You may not be able to control her behavior, but you can control yours. If it's ever escalated to the point of being physical, and you stay, then you lose the moral standing to use her actions as an excuse. To me.


wow so all those men who beat women have an excuse because the women didn't leave first time? That's a serious statement to make.

I hate wife beaters, i hate men who abuse women i hate it the other way around as well. I was in love and mistook playful hits that many women make for something that was coming much harder down the line.

I ask you again.

If someone is hitting you in the side of the head repeatedly whilst driving a car at 65 MPH down a busy motorway, are you telling me self defense isn't a correct action? I am very willing to bet i would have been knocked unconious by one of those blows if i hadn't taken action then and there and this would have resulted in my death or the death of her, or even other road users.

To say it's my fault for taking a few playful hits is utterly shocking and i know you think you are right but love does strange things i can tell you that now.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:08 PM
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To be fair, some women carry on like scumbags and definitely deserve a smack at times. Its pretty unfair that its ok for girls to hit us as much as they want but if we even push them off, we're labelled badly.

On the other hand, it'd be pretty hard to bring yourself to do it. Im 6ft1", do a good bit of weights & would easily do serious damage if I did hit one hard so unless she was trying to kill me or something.. I wouldn't.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:09 PM
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reply to post by BlackOps719
 


Amen to that, BlackOps. It's funny how in the presence of a woman, your thinking sometimes gets a bit skewered.

I recall Sean Connery being asked on TV is he's ever hit a woman. His reply was, "if she begs for it, of course!

I can see occasions where a little "thump" right on top of the head is appropriate, especially if one has been begging for it for an hour or so by hitting the man.

Generally, not a good decision.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:09 PM
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reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984
 


Just like a woman has to make the decision to leave a man that is hitting her, the man does too.

Why in the world a man would stay with a woman that is physically abusing him, especially if there are no children involved, is beyond me.

The same thing goes for men who want to say something like, "That **** would not shut up and the only way I could get some peace was to hit her!"

They should leave if they dislike their partner that much.

I would not hit a man in cold blood. I would defend myself, if I was attacked, but I would not allow myself to loose such control in an argument that I became physical.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:09 PM
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Originally posted by GENERAL EYES
Most guys won't randomly strike a female anyway - she's usually doing something to provoke it.



Just to absolutely clarify here, i have never hit a woman in any other situation and i never would. Wife beaters disgust me.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:14 PM
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Originally posted by ImaginaryReality1984

wow so all those men who beat women have an excuse because the women didn't leave first time? That's a serious statement to make.


Well now, that's an entirely different subject, isn't it? For now let's stick with "is it ok to hit a woman".

Here's the deal, you did what you apparently think you had to do. Swell, you saved lives on the highway and stuff by not having to swerve around. Could have saved a lot more by not being in a car going 65 miles an hour with a mental case prone to violence.

You were in a situation where you did what you think you had to do. It's done. It's over. Did you learn anything from it? People who hit are hitters. Get out or stay. Staying is not license to hit a woman. Period.

As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:15 PM
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Originally posted by ImaginaryReality1984
Just to absolutely clarify here, i have never hit a woman in any other situation and i never would. Wife beaters disgust me.


I understand completely.

Abusers usually fall into a COMPLETELY different category, and I have absolutely no sympathy for them whatsoever.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:18 PM
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Originally posted by yeahright
Well now, that's an entirely different subject, isn't it? For now let's stick with "is it ok to hit a woman".


Actually it's the exact same thing if we go by your example that not getting out is justification to hit. Either you stand by your words or you don't.


Originally posted by yeahright
Here's the deal, you did what you apparently think you had to do. Swell, you saved lives on the highway and stuff by not having to swerve around. Could have saved a lot more by not being in a car going 65 miles an hour with a mental case prone to violence.


I did not know she was prone to violence. She attacked me once before with a knife and was deeply sorry and apologetic, distraught even would be the word i would use. She hit me other times with "love taps", at least that's what i thought they were. There was no clear sign of psychosis and in fact she wasn't psychotic, jus ton her way to it.


Originally posted by yeahright
You were in a situation where you did what you think you had to do. It's done. It's over. Did you learn anything from it? People who hit are hitters. Get out or stay. Staying is not license to hit a woman. Period.


People who hit are hitters? So if i hit a girl who attacks me with a knife i'm a hitter? What utter nonsense. Granted i didn't have to hit her, i had enough training that i coudl restrain her. However if i hadn't had that training i am willing to bet i'd be dead. I am not saying that staying is license to hit someone! I did this once and quickly left the relationship afterwards as i was scared of the woman.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 04:22 PM
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There is a simple and harmless solution to this: Tas-her!

[edit on 15-1-2009 by Amelie]



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