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Is There Ever A Reason To Hit A Woman? Yes

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posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:10 PM
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I've put this in the politics thread because i really think it will be a political thing, or at least a moral one. If the all mighty mods decide it doesn't belong here then i have no issue with it being moved somewhere else.

The thread title says it all really but i wanted to give some background.

I was always raised that hitting a woman was never the correct thing and if you do then you are a scumbag. I still believe this but only up to a point after some personal experience. I will state this experience and see if ATS members think it was wrong.

Years back i was dating a girl who was a little wild. After maybe 6 months of dating she started hitting slightly but i ignored it, i mean i was a full contact martial artist, getting hit by her wasn't a massive problem. This all changed during a car journey.

I was driving down the motorway at around 65 MPH, we're having a discussion and she goes ballistic, she starts pounding on me as hard as she can. I had a great deal of trouble controlling the car, i shouted at her to leave me alone and she doesn't. My only option was to strike out because if i hadn't i am damn sure I'd have crashed that car. I was being hit in the head and shoulder repeatedly and i was swerving because of it.

I split up with her soon after and she was treated for some kind of psychosis. The point here is that if i hadn't struck out in that situation then it's very possible i would have crashed and killed us both and yet i still feel disgusted by having to hit a woman, i mean i really feel truly awful about it even though it was justified.

If a woman comes at you with a knife can you defend yourself? This also happened with the same girl earlier on in the relationship and i restrained her without causing damage. For all those who think i was nuts to stay with her, well i was in love so leave me alone please.

Basically we are taught it's never right to strike a woman, but i think there are certain, rare cases where it is acceptable, like when you are against a woman with mental health problems.

[edit on 15-1-2009 by ImaginaryReality1984]




posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:20 PM
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Interesting thread, if I can reply before it's deleted I'll give my two cents.

You could pull the car over and restrain her.

You could pull the car over and tell her to get the &$%* out.

You could drop her off at the local mental hospital.

or

You could let her beat hell out of you and file charges with authorities.

Sounds to me like this woman already has some deeply rooted psychological issues, I think laying a hand on her might land you in an early grave.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:20 PM
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Sure I can see this situation.

However, you COULD have avoided the situation altogether.

Leave her if she doesn't stop.
When she starts "playful" hitting, tell her that it is unacceptable.

You set down inappropriate boundaries with her. You COULD have avoided the situation. You waited until it was drastic until you followed through, and it was too late.

I've known a number of women who hit. Often, they do it and think that they aren't actually strong enough to be hurting the person they are with. I know a number of men who didn't try and suck it up, and put their foot down about it. Stop hitting me (even if it is "playful") or I am leaving this relationship. Usually this has worked.

You could have made better choices (so could she). Next time, don't wait until you are going to run into a brick wall at 70km/hr to do so.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:23 PM
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My rule is I will take an open hand slap once only.Then I make it known I will hit back and give them the chance to either settle down or do it again to see what happens.
If the fist is clenched then sorry but you are gonna get the equal rights you have fought for.
For the record you don't have to be in a relationship for a woman to hit you.

[edit on 15-1-2009 by DrumsRfun]



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:23 PM
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When I was 18 there was this girl who kept on slapping me in the face over and over again and I just stood there. When I walked away she threw a cell phone at the back at my head and charged me. She dug her nails into my face and I had to get stitches. I still didn't hit her. Even though I should of given her a stiff jab followed with the overhand right.

I don't hit girls. Even though they may deserve it sometimes.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:24 PM
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This is the problem.. There's "hitting" and then there's "reasonable force" to restrain a crazy person.

I would've left such a relationship after the knife incident, but love can do strange things indeed.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:25 PM
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post removed because the user has no concept of manners

Click here for more information.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:25 PM
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I think that you made your first mistake when you did not stop the physical attacks when they first started. Never in a relationship IMO is it okay to demonstrate any emotion by striking anyone or anything. If her temper is so out of control that she has to resort to striking out then it time for you to bug out. It should never have gotten to the point where you needed to defend yourself against attack. As a woman my motto is "Nip it in the bud". First strike or even a threat of a first strike is the last. The relationship is over and I doubt if I would even give the individual a by your leave in the future. Now remember I am just voicing by opinion and how I would respond. The only time that I can think that it is okay for you to hit someone or for someone to hit you is if they are doing the Heimlich maneuver or if you are killing a mosquito and mosquitoes are tiny so the force needed to kill one should be just enough to kill a mosquito.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:27 PM
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Yes of course there is, especially as thuggish women are on the rise. I akin it to playing the race card: racial minority wants to grief for whatever reason and decides to attack someone of the majority. He gets a beating then plays up the racial sympathy to police/court/whoever.

One of my old friends was a large tattooed girl, 6'1 and probably well over 16 stone - she has been known to fight with men who'd tease and/or verbally abuse her. She did not mind them fighting back at all and to be honest was 'ard as nails to boot.

*EDIT*
Spelling

[edit on 15-1-2009 by Goathief]



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:27 PM
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I wish my brother would have adopted this philosophy. Almost exactly a year ogo, his drug-crazed alcoholic girlfriend picked up a knife because he was watching the SuperBowl and cut him under his arm. It severed a vital blood vessel and he died very quickly.

She has been in jail for a year now, still no trial. The prosecutor told me the most we can hope for is 10 years. 10 years????



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:28 PM
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Hmmm. I have very mixed opinions on this. And I am a woman


My brother used to be married to a girl who was very violent (found this out after they were married) and she would get dunk and attack him and hit him. My brother is a big guy and normally doesn't take crap from anyone.

He was raised to believe that hitting a woman for any reason is wrong.

And he never struck her back, though he had to restrain her often.

Obviously, that marriage did not last long. But I think it takes a LOT for a man to just stand there and be hit or physically abused by a woman and not strike back.

Thing is, most men are much much bigger than a woman, and to strike back could do MUCH more harm then is ever necessary. I believe this is a huge reason why men are told they shouldn't hit women.

However, if one does it as self defense, you wont hear me trash them for it. Some women are extremely violent and flat out mean! And once they decide to be violent...well....

[edit on 1/15/2009 by greeneyedleo]



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:32 PM
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Originally posted by ImaginaryReality1984
I was driving down the motorway at around 65 MPH, we're having a discussion and she goes ballistic, she starts pounding on me as hard as she can.


I think the question is... why did you date a psychotic? I'm sure you saw the signs before that point.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:38 PM
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The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

Depends upon how you position the question. It's always acceptable to use appropriate force to defend yourself. So if the question is, "Is it ok to use force to physically defend yourself?" The answer is, of course it is.

However (in my opinion) the FIRST TIME she belted you, you knew what you had. You hung around. Loving her so much you couldn't leave her doesn't square with not loving her enough to keep from smacking her. You're with someone who hits, earlier in the relationship attacks you with a knife, and has what you recognized as mental health problems. Sorry, got to say you don't get a pass for hitting her.

At least, as far as I'm concerned.


As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:39 PM
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There is only one time and one time only where this would happen with me.

If anyone ever tried to harm my daughter…women included…I'll drop them in a heartbeat…probably for good.

You mess with my little girl...your done, end of story.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:40 PM
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Your OP made me laugh and shake my head because I was once in the same exact situation that you just described.

Lets just say she was a hard drinker and liked to fight, she was also a month shy from getting her black belt in Tae Kwon Do, she was also strong and not a typical defenseless woman.

She liked to drink and then for whatever reason assumed that I would make a nice punching bag, and being that I was 6'4" and big and ugly she figured nobody would ever take my side or believe that she could ever harm me.

This type of thing happened once or twice and I pretty much let it slide. Then one day I was sleeping on the couch and she decided to come up and hit me closed fist in the side of my face because she felt like it.

The unlucky part for her is that when I am awakened out of a deep slumber by a right hook to the face my reflexes kick in and take over and...well....lets just say she never did it again.

I would never ever ever in a million years purposefully lay my hands against a woman, I think it is beyong cowardly and chickens*** to hit a female.

But all I can say is that in certain circumstances they may very well have it coming. I have been chased with knives, had guns pulled on me and never have I dealt with such madness and frustration as I did in dealing with her.

My whole thing is this and I see it as a golden rule.....dont go around hitting people like a man if you arent prepared to get hit like one.

Im not justifying hitting women, but understand that everyone doesn't have infinite patience and tolerance for someone who is trying to harm them, eventually anyone will lash out when provoked hard enough.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:42 PM
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reply to post by YourForever
 


Must have been the sex.LOL
I have dated girls that I couldn't even stand but we got along great in the bedroom so it lasted alot longer then one would logically think it would.
Sometimes it just happens.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:44 PM
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Just as a penis doesnt make a man a vagina doesnt make a woman. It is perfectly acceptable to hit one of those wholly uncivil "women."



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:44 PM
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I think your girlfriend was a masochist and liked to be hit, that is not uncommon and it was the wrong way to ask for it. That's what doms are for. I've dating someone in the scene right now and I am willing to bet you some of the "battered women" who thrive on the melodrama of doemstic abuse like pain.

I am not a proponent of violence but someone who instigates it can't cry wolf. Men have every right not to be abused and frankly I've witnessed enough women physically and verbally abuse men to the point where I see no distinction between the genders anymore. If they hit first and won't stop, they have it coming, self defense is legal. Kudos to you for being big enough not to do it.



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:47 PM
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Imaginary Reality 1984,

I have to ask if there were any contributing factors such as alcohol? I could see such a night happening thanks to the almighty legal but deadly drug that this society continues to condone.

The situation sounds sticky but there had to been something that led to her getting angry to the point of hitting you. I am not saying that it is ok, but I think the situation could have been handled better.

Was there some reason you could not stop the vehicle?



posted on Jan, 15 2009 @ 03:47 PM
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Originally posted by secretagent woooman
I think your girlfriend was a masochist and liked to be hit, that is not uncommon and it was the wrong way to ask for it. That's what doms are for. I've dating someone in the scene right now and I am willing to bet you some of the "battered women" who thrive on the melodrama of doemstic abuse like pain.

I am not a proponent of violence but someone who instigates it can't cry wolf. Men have every right not to be abused and frankly I've witnessed enough women physically and verbally abuse men to the point where I see no distinction between the genders anymore. If they hit first and won't stop, they have it coming, self defense is legal. Kudos to you for being big enough not to do it.



You just crossed the line between fantasy play and stupidity.



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