The growing popularity of defoo-ing, page 2
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reply posted on 13-1-2009 @ 09:40 PM by americandingbat
I think this phenomenon has been growing probably for fifty years now, and is reaching into ever more areas of society.

A big contribution is probably that we are geographically much more mobile than we used to be, and I think that probably started with the baby boom generation. It's easier to cut yourself off from all family connections if you don't live in the same town and don't share common acquaintances or haunts than if you are constantly hearing about your folks from others (or they're hearing about you).

The fact that families tend to be smaller now I'm sure also contributes – both because if you have lots of siblings there's a better chance that you'll get along with someone and because I think only children or children with only one or two siblings are more likely to have taken on a significant part of the emotional burden if their parents divorced or there were other family problems. (I am not saying divorce is bad – I think it's probably better than a bitter marriage for the kids. Nor am I saying this is parents' fault. I think it's way more complicated).

I worry about how we will compensate as we age. I think this might be a huge problem, beginning very soon. Maybe, and this is what I hope, this will be a transitional phase. Sort of like teens have traditionally rebelled against their parents and then reestablished relationships on an adult basis when they settled down themselves – perhaps the "defoo-ing" phenomenon is a reaction to our living longer, spending more time in education and in career building, and then still needing some time to establish themselves as individuals free of the family dynamics that can hold us back.

I've never heard the word "defoo" before by the way. I can't decide how I feel about it.
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