Before you watch more porn, you need to know this

I was posting on one of the "porn industry bailout" threads, becoming more aware of the filth that is porn.

I used to think before, "hey, it's ok. It's just sex, it's natural." Something like that. Then, yesterday, I started looking more into the porn industries abuse of women, and pretty much the degradation of both men and women.

Before, I somehow thought some of these porn actors enjoyed the pain of things like hard sex. That may be the case for some, but many of the women just don't enjoy it. In fact, you may be hurt by some of the stories of abuse that have occurred in the porn industry.

When you watch a porn, this is what you pretty much see, a pretty smiling girl covered in man goo. She smiles, but much of the time it's fake. You think she enjoys this. You don't see the pain, well actually you might if you actually took the time to look at some of the girls faces, or in their eyes, when they momentarily are "out of character." You can see pain, maybe even emotions like fear. I actually noticed this in some of the films in the past.

Porn doesn't have a damn thing to do with love, or a healthy sexual relationship. It's BS. It's a lie. Think about it. You throw two or more people together, maybe they don't even like each other, and you tell them to get erections, get horny, and make hot sex with each other, thus making a porn video. From the start, something is already wrong with this. This is beyond acting. This is beyond trying new sexual positions.

And, how does watching this make you closer to your significant other? I mean, doesn't your significant other turn you on? The truth is, your wife should be attractive to you already, and vice versa. You're essentially having sex with a fantasy, not your wife, not your husband. How does this bring you closer together?

I based a lot of what I know about sex on porn movies. Now I have all these sexual memories of porn that are now pretty much trash. How can I get satisfaction from such a thing, when I know someone could be hurting on the other end? Why would I ever want to watch it again?

To get through, porn actors are largely on drugs, drink a lot, smoke a lot, stuff like that.

So, here are some links. I want you to think real hard about the content in these links before you put in another porn movie. Someone on the other end, in porn land, could be suffering. All so you can get off on it. Make your choice wisely.

Some of this is graphic, and adult oriented, so be advised. It may be disturbing, so again, you are advised. The stories are worth the read, though. You need to get the reality of things.

www.shelleylubben.com/articles/TheTruth.doc

www.guardian.co.uk...

www.thepinkcross.org...

www.thepinkcross.org...

www.freerepublic.com...

www.shelleylubben.com...

www.thepinkcross.org...

www.shelleylubben.com...

Troy

Ummm, I like porn, i couldn't really care less if it is unnatural, or unhealthy, or whatever, then it's just like the rest of the crap out there in the world that is unhealthy and unnatural for us.

Our world today is based on the worst things possible for the human body and the human mind, this is what i grew up with, this is what i am used to.

Originally posted by Hellsing
Ummm, I like porn, i couldn't really care less if it is unnatural, or unhealthy, or whatever, then it's just like the rest of the crap out there in the world that is unhealthy and unnatural for us.

Our world today is based on the worst things possible for the human body and the human mind, this is what i grew up with, this is what i am used to.

so you are saying that you can't grow anymore as a human?

because you grew up eating crap, you don't one day wish for a real meal?

that is the type of thinking that allows our society to turn to crap.

BTW if anyone thinks that people doing porn are doing it for the enjoyment, you really should take your hand off it and try talking to real people.
A real persons name should not include .bmp, JPEG or vid

Cybertroy, though your argument is valid on many points, it is also wrong on many points. Sex is different for all individuals. People get pleasure from a large variety of taboos. Though I can agree with you that many of the girls that perform sex acts (video, photos, strip bars, escort services, prostitution) do not get off or enjoy what they are doing, there are many that do. Though you might believe that someone does not enjoy rough sex, some actually do. Its hard to generalize or group peoples' preferences into one wrong or right, but I think that your post should get credit for at least providing exposure for those who are put into situations they don't want to be in and are forced to do so.

sex can get boring really quick if your not careful. watch married with children and you will see the light hearted side of why you get bored with your partner.
for us (the watchers) its a stimulus, like a firelighter. something to get us in the mood (or release some tension if your single).
for them (the porn stars) its largely money. you would(nt) be supprised what people will do for a buck!
most people i know that watch porn wouldnt give a damn as to why these people chose to make a living in porn or the circumstances behind the scenes. they will still watch it.
they NEED it.

reply to post by cybertroy


I really don't see the conspiracy here. I've never known anybody who viewed pornography with the intent to grow as a person or have some sort of profound and enlightening experience. If anything, porn could be viewed as refreshingly straightforward and obvious.

Plus, I'm pretty sure all the girls on "Gigantic Amazon Lesbians Attack Manhatten" knew what they were signing up for.

Every industry on the planet fuels abuse somewhere down the line. Ever eaten meat? Do you have any idea what conditions meat plant workers work under? Ever bought anything from a farm? Been there to make sure it was not picked by the illegally kept slaves/migrant workers? Ever shopped at Wal-mart for anything ever?

optyk phyba,

They don't give a damn? What does that tell you? What kind of person doesn't give a damn about people?

Sexual boredom, people doing bizarre things for pleasure. It boils down to this, you are probably having/had troubles with your relationships and troubles with yourself if you have to be overly rough, abusive, or take abuse to get your jollies off. Of course the Psychiatrist says, "Oh, we're all different in our desires." Instant justification for downright crazy stuff. Some people do freakin' things like cut and mutilate themselves to "get off." That's how insane sex has become to some people.

Let me clarify things with my history in porn watching. I don't recall anything really all that good coming from watching porn. The times I have watched it, many times, I have not been a good person to be around. I have taken paths I shouldn't have taken. Desires became more bizarre. The more I watched, the more I got into weirder stuff.

Porn was something I sometimes turned to get my fix, so I could feel some "happiness." It gave me a "fix," you might say, usually followed by regret. Porn did nothing to help me. It just helped dig the hole deeper.

I know what I have seen in those films, facial expressions don't lie. Some of those girls did not want to be in those films.

Porn desensitizes you, the more you watch it, the more you can become desensitized. Before you know it, the most insane things seem "normal."

I can no longer go back to porn, I would be supporting outright insanity, doing so.

I am building more and more love and respect for my fellow man (and ladies), and they love me back. Porn isn't love. Porn many times shows a hatred toward women. It's unacceptable as entertainment.

I'm as horny as the next guy, believe me, but porn doesn't belong in my sex life anymore.

Troy

[edit on 13-1-2009 by cybertroy]

"You throw two or more people together, maybe they don't even like each other, and you tell them to get erections, get horny, and make hot sex with each other, thus making a porn video."

erectionS huh? maybe thats the problem with the porn you're watching... sounds like you mustve clicked on some sort of Double-Wanged Freaks O Porn pop-up when you started your research ? were there 3 armed midgets and amputee rodeo clowns involved too? if you saw a goat with a fake Abe Lincoln beard, a hillbilly with two erections and a lumpish cycloptic woman in a carrot suit i urge you to consider that this is not indicative of all porn. (but would still urge you to click on the banner ads to support our sponsors. uh, THEIR sponsors. yes. Their....)

see i would recommend clicking on one that features strictly women... are you telling me lesbian porn is painful and degrading? your tryin to tell me that that smile on their face isn't genuine? cuz i mean really... we all know they arent in these films because they're great actresses! are they perpetrating a disservice for lesbians and every straight male by raising expectations of what a real life lesbian eff-session would be?
Im not sure but i hope i am a lucky enough man to find out one day.

as for your point about "arent you supposed to be attracted to your wife", what happens when you stop being attracted to them?? you're wrong somehow because 20 years down the road you dont find attractive your wifes sudden lardy overflow spilling over her waistline (now with 60% Extra Gunt!) or the Menacing Menopause Mustache, neither of which she is willing to do anything about?.. or the simple fact that being with ANYTHING for that long in your life, aside from your Lucky Boxers or an old pair of beat-up slippers will get boring?
Aside from that, not everyone is inherently attractive.. are you saying that they aren't worthy of being married? because wankin it to porn is wrong... i guess its either cheat or divorce! you cruel, cruel bastardio.

Ha hey ladies? im siiiiingle! and clearly a catch.

If these females were dragged off the street against their will and forced to have sex in front of a camera, then I'd be the first to back them up.

But that isn't the case with a lot of porn stars.
Especially the woman in this story in the OPs link...
www.freerepublic.com...

I mean, agreeing to have sex with 12 men for $4,000??
Then to make out like she's some kind of victim? Plaheese.
These girls hunger for fame and attention and don't have any other talent, so use their bodies.
It's no better than prostitution.
And what's worse is that a lot of them are college educated, so can't even claim stupidity/being uneducated as a defence.

Her father was a Minister for the Morman church, so it's not like she wasn't given some kind of moral compass growing up.

There are far more genuine cases of women being abducted and sold into sexual slavery in some countries, without worrying about the ones who do it willingly in countries where there is alternative work for women to do.

I have been into porn for a long time. I agree with many of the points raised by the OP but it still doesn't have an effect on my interest in porn. For me it is an enjoyable fantasy escape from from my otherwise drab sex life. My non-existent sex life, I should say.

I agree that many in the porn industry are probably not there by choice. This could also be said of many people in other industries. Involvement in the porn industry is sometimes degrading to the people involved. That could also be said of involvement in many other industries. I suspect that there are degrading parts to just about everything that people do as ways of earning a living. Many sales people for example have to put up with all kinds of degrading psychological gambits in order to make sales. Sometimes the treatment of people in the hospitality industry borders on the sadistic and yet, as professionals they have to smile through the abuse and carry on, making the best of it.

Everything to do with sex in our society is amped up in intensity. Sex is a subject that few people, particularly among the talking heads in the mainstream media, can talk about it a dispassionate manner. This is reflected in the laws on sexual assault and rape.

Personally, I think that rape, as a form of assault, should be downgraded from the degree of severity with which it is viewed. All assaults are traumatic and yes rape is traumatic. It's effects last a lifetime, but that is true of other sorts of assault as well. In my opinion there is too much disparity in sentencing between rape and other kinds of assault. I actually think that this disparity could be a factor involved in incidents where rape victims are then murdered, the fear of a severe penalty leading to the removal of the victim as a potential witness in court.

I have seen a ton of porn in my life and amazing as it might sound, it has actually increased my appreciation for all kinds, sizes, shapes, colors and legal ages of people. I think that a good porno is at least as compelling as anything that comes out of Hollywood. It's difficult to sum up the effect that porno has on a discerning viewer. I don't believe that I have been cheapened or degraded or turned into a maniac by it. It has increased my appreciation for people of all kinds. I remember being very picky as a teenager, wanting only the perfect girl, but now I see varieties and possibilities that I couldn't imagine before.

I'm going to keep on watching porn, but just as with any other industry, I am not blind to the problems in that line of work. I would not like to see any increase in regulatory oversight of the porn industry. I think a better case could be made for increased oversight of parenting for example, but that, hopefully will never be on the table.


[edit on 13-1-2009 by ipsedixit]

[edit on 13-1-2009 by ipsedixit]

theres a difference between watching porn and contiubuting to harmful porn by paying for it or helping in its making.

watching porn only damages the self , no others.

I get your point but it seems to me that your suffering from guilt because by watching porn you view yourself as nothing more than the stereotypical, horny, think about sex all the time, male. At least that is what I see. I think the common idea is that men enjoy sex and will do anything to get it, while women do not. That is not at all the case! Trust me. A lot of the girls I know have a lot of sexual drive and do use men for sex. I've witnessed girls just clinging onto men just to satisfy their sexual desire while not planning to date them afterwords (Although, I admit men probably do it a little more). I've even known girls who watch porn themselves. Women enjoy sex as much as males and most porn stars probably enjoy it most of the time. Not that some aren't forced or obligated to do things they don't want to. Another thing why porn is largely for the male crowd is because men get turned on by more visual things, while women by touch.

Sex is just as addictive as anything else in this world and it's tougher to control because it's always there. Unfortunately it has become more pleasure based thing, than love based.

If it's filmed by a studio, and it's not amateur porn where people don't give their consent to release the footage....

To bad. Regardless if the girl looses a eyeball, it's not different than crab fishing -- you might die, but luckily I don't think there is many porn related deaths outside of drugs being involved.

Bottom line, they get paid and if they sign the form then they have to do what they're told to or get sued.

End of story.

The majority of responses on this thread are: LOL, whatever, so what, who cares, it's their choice, what the hell, so what, or something similar..

I've watched porn, I think about 80 per cent is abusive. Not all of it is though.

The point is; The coldness and indifference to other people's suffering most of the responses display is the reason society is messed up like it is. It is also the attitude the Pharmaceutical companies and banks have towards the people they screw over.

Your family's home was foreclosed??? So what! whateva, shouldn't have taken out such a big mortgage, sux to be you! LOL!

Your mother/friend/family member is sick from cancer/heart disease, while they keep quiet about the cure??? ROFLMAO! Whatever. Not my problem!!! Who cares? Shouldn't have eaten all those burgers. Do I look like I care? Loser!

Is it that hard to see the connection? I understand people are indifferent, and we can't worry about everything all day. I am certainly no hero. But people here are actually parading their heartlessness like it's some kind of badge. Just like Alex Jones says, we've been conditioned to believe it's koooool to not care.

Stay cooool bad boyz.






[edit on 13-1-2009 by HiAliens]

Originally posted by HiAliens

I've watched porn, I think about 80 per cent is abusive. Not all of it is though.

Now I'm not Ron Jeremy here, but I'd say that's a bit of an oversight. I'd give it 50%

Originally posted by HiAliens
The point is; The coldness and indifference to other people's suffering most of the responses display is the reason society is messed up like it is. It is also the attitude the Pharmaceutical companies and banks have towards the people they screw over.

When they're making 10-20k per 30-45min scene I don't think they're missing out to bad, and that's amateur. My buddy was paid 15k for 2 shoots by Pleasure Productions.

Bottom line money talks and both man and woman are out to get money. And they're not suffering that bad as you compared it to someone with cancer..... I think they're doing just fine with their new cars and houses, even if it requires them being exploited 100s of times.

reply to post by HiAliens


Very good points, i couldn't agree more. Apathy is a very big problem in our culture.

And as for porn, if it were all removed, i think the world would be a better place. It would return some mystery to the bedroom. You will enjoy sex with your partner a lot more if you never get into porn, and save them the heartache of finding you stringin your meat at 2:00 in the morning because they are not adequate.

reply to post by optyk phyba

sex can get boring really quick if your not careful. watch married with children and you will see the light hearted side of why you get bored with your partner.

Sex only gets boring really quickly if:

A. The relationship is purely based on physical qualities / attraction
B. You are not in true (ie. unconditional) love with that person
C. As above, but you are too scared to end the relationship because you don't want to be on your own.

If you really love someone - really love someone - then you should find them as sexy now as you did when you first met.

Try sensual kissing, body touching (neck, lower back, shoulders) or exotic massage. If this doesn't get you both in the mood, then break up - it's over.

reply to post by HiAliens


Although you put it quite harshly I agree with your point, if people recognize something isn't right in what they are seeing they should change their habits. I've been doing my best to change some of mine.
This reminds me of a movie I once watched (based on real events) about a woman who lost a son in the WWII and she found naked drawings underneath his bed. She then started a tasteful nude vaudeville thing so the boys who went off to war could enjoy seeing a naked women before they possibly die. The point is there is that I think people have the right to enjoy the beauties of this world, but only if its presented in a respectable manner. Unfortunately that can be hard to find.