British husband told he's too fat to adopt.

reply to post by blupblup

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Don't be like that, if you want to reply to me quote my post, don't get all funny.

Notice i quoted you above a great deal and you haven't responded to it.

All the best.

[edit on 12-1-2009 by ImaginaryReality1984]

reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984

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Completely off topic now...

But... You quoted me, and then (as i did) went on with your own views without referencing anything i said, or responding to any one of my comments.

If your are going to be funny and call somebody out (completely pointlessly) on something that you yourself have done.... then i just see hypocrisy.

Well done...

reply to post by blupblup

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Sorry i didn't see myself doing this but hey lets just put it aside shall we and i ask you to reply to my original quote from you.

All the best.

reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984

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No probs.

Let's move on.

I will not respond any further as i already did in the post i quoted.
There has clearly been a misunderstanding and i apologize for my part.

take it easy

See here I think you've gone too far. Healthy is NOT subjective. There is a science that goes behind it.

I'll speak in pounds because I'm not too familiar with your metric system. Let's take myself as an example.

Sure I could think of myself as being healthy at 20 years old 5'4 and 90lbs, but in reality am I really healthy? No. I'm not.

Could I think of myself as healthy at 20 years olf, 5'4 and 160 lbs, sure why not guys like a little meat on the bones right? Am I healthy? No I'm not.

I'm 20 years old 5'4 and 137lbs, am I healthy? I could lose another 5lbs, but then again what woman wouldn't want that. But health speaking, according to my doctor, aside from my hypertension I'm healthy for my age.

And Aryian??? Who ever mentioned a race here? Why would you mention something like that? To stir up people's emotions like you've done with me? Not one person here has mentioned "Aryian" as the perfect race, you yourself mentioned that we humans come in wonderful shades of gray. No one is arguing that point at all so bringing it up is careless and not helpful to this discussion, regardless of how you meant it to be said. I know I didn't word all that properly, so please try to understand where I'm coming from.

I can also see where you're coming from as far as judging ADOPTIVE parents by their weight, because as has been stated before they are speaking in terms of GIVING a child not TAKING them away, that's like saying because someone smokes they shouldn't be able to adopt.

In this case however, I'll have to agree with the adoption center here, he should atleast make an effort to lose the extra 2% body fat. I mean look at what he gets if he does, a child to care for, better health, longer life expectancy.

If he chooses to do anything else then he obviously wouldn't make a good parent to begin with, losing a little weight is a small sacrifice to make for a lifetime commitment of a child.

-JR

I totally support the official view on this, its not discrimination anyway the legal definition of discrimination in the UK relates to a persons race, sex colour creed or disablity not weight unless his weight/medical condition is a disablity. Here we have an person who is morbidly obese and therefore cannot be in good health. His conditon may relate to medical problems or it could just be self abuse but either way he is not fit physically to bring up a young child/children.

Children are very demanding on parents and guardians and people do need to be healthy and in good shape to look after them and meet their demands. I am disabled and also have a chronic illness I would not even think of adopting children just because of that but if I did I would not feel discriminated against if I was refused to become a foster parent. Don't loose sight of the fact that its all about the well being of the child and not the feelings of the potential foster parent.

I really don't understand what all the shock and amazement is about.

It makes complete sense that they would not hand over a child to a man who will potentially/likely die a very early death due to his weight. Come on Britons, look over at the US.. see how fat most of us are. See how many die each year due to heart issues or other weight related problems. It DOES happen, obesity IS a major health issue, it's responsible for the UK to make this decision.

Besides, it's not like the guy can't lose some weight (he's not that far over their defined limit anyway) in no time and re apply.

Sometimes, the world ISN'T out to get you...

reply to post by tezzajw

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Simple. It's not an assurance. It's a probability. Giving up that child to the first set of adoptive parents that approaches the CPS would be an assurance of failure. They need to be screened. You can't assume everyone has benevolent intentions, or that everyone is qualified to be a parent because they're human. The child has gone through enough not having had real parents for the majority of his life, so you can't just give him away to anybody. They have to be better than average.

[edit on 12-1-2009 by cognoscente]

Fat is definitely the new Black. Its no longer in fashion to be a racial bigot so society is looking to find new reasons to judge; new reasons to hate.

Have people forgotten that in the UK they have started taking children away from Parents if the child is obese? The trend is forming and it is clear this will be mankind's next embarrassing moment in our social evolution.

It would seem that much to our shame our species MUST HAVE people who we find distasteful to scorn, hate and vilify.

Until quite recently in history it was perfectly acceptable to treat people of other races or ethnic origins as less than equal because in normal society it was an accepted fact that they were inferior. Now we are replacing that with a new group that it is acceptable to scorn, criticize and treat as inferiors. It is now in vogue to treat the less than physically fit the same as Blacks and Minorities were once treated.

Perhaps we should round up all the fat, all the handicapped, all the meat eaters and all the smokers and lock them up for their own good? After all they are inferior mentally and socially and have proven they are incapable of making their own choices in life.

Lets staple all their stomachs and put them to work on chain gangs to work off that extra inch they can pinch. It's for their own good after all. We have the awesome role model of Adolf Hitler and his teachings and opinions on inferior bloodlines in the species to guide us.

Lets take all the children away from obese Parents along with children who are obese themselves and add them to the already overwhelmed Foster Parenting programs. Lets provide a ready supply of kids for the endless supply of perverts who want nothing more than to raise these inferior little nuisances for us.

The amount of CRUELTY we as a species are capable of, never seems to find it's limits. We simply change our choice of victims from time to time as society deems new classes of people as targets. Saying an orphaned child would be better off being passed from home to home in our Pedophile saturated fostering systems than they would be with a fat parent, is so transparent and obscene as to be an indicator of character. Never turning your back on someone who would be for such a thing would be sound advice.

To the less than perfect of this world, the handicapped and disabled, get ready to be singled out for a miserable life compliments of the beautiful people who don't want you around. Learn to sit on the back of the bus and sit in dark corners of restaurants so they don't have to damage their eyes by seeing you. Get used to working harder and smarter than them and still not getting anywhere because the good jobs are reserved for the physically elite of the world. No longer will performance matter as you must look good in a bathing suit or you will not succeed.

Perhaps it is best if we neuter anyone who has less than a perfect body in the first place. We can't let these inferior human's multiply. Once they are gone we can start working to get rid of people who dress badly.

Please supply your data to support this claim.

Remember that this fat parent wants to adopt. The child will not have the fat parent's genetics.

Are you suggesting that environmental factors influence a child more than genetics?

Wrong in my opinion.

Most Overweight people have a choice. They choose to eat more than they need and they choose not to exercise.

This is more about health, common sense and a persons inability to tell their "needs" from their "wants".!.

And I've never had a problem calling someone "black" or "coloured" etc but to call someone "fat, "obese" or "oveweight" is usually taken as an insult.

Truth hurts sometimes.

Black people are proud of their GIVEN colour.....Fat people are not usually proud of their CHOSEN weight.



Do people need data when we can use our eyes?

Nothing is hidden here is it?

A trip to your local supermarket to see how other peoples shopping trolleys are loaded would show you that.

Sorry if any of this sounds harsh to anyone but as an individual who lives mainly on "needs" and not "wants".....to give someone the gift of responsibility for raising a child who cannot even treat themselves with respect for their own future would be irresponsible and wrong in my opinion.

ps...my best friend is about 132 kg and admits he loves food "with a passion" even though he suffers from type 2 diabetes. He doesn't excersise much either and hates it when people start to care!

THAT pisses me off. I don't want to lose a friend from weakness or stupidity but to old age and contentment!

[edit on 12/1/2009 by nerbot]

Good. Parents passing on obesity is one of the largest issues in the world today. Why should we let someone adopt when they cant even take care of themselves?

Children learn health, eating habits and fitness from their environment. While some are pre-disposed to genetics that may make them heavier, eating and life habits have everything to do with it.

as a friend of the couple in question...some of the comments on here make me sick.
so wot some sickos on here is saying that they shouldnt be allowed to adopt cos he is overweight.... ok then.... wot about kids who have been placed in care of duggies..abousers etc. its been all over the news. shouldnt they have been placed wth loving and caring people like those in question.
this couple are desperate for a child, have gone down every road and have tried to lose the weight. it doesnt say that tho does it.
any child placed in care for wot eva reason would be eternally grateful of the home and life they could provide. ok, he is overweight. how many parents (biological) are and live to a ripe old age. should there children be questioned cos they are overweight, thats right because they are biological they are not. so why shouldnt they be given the chance.
they are unable physically to have children so why take the rght away on a technicality on a stupid piece of paper in sum probably fat arses office drawer.

Of course we need data to support a claim.

Where is the data that shows larger adoptive parents are going to have larger adoptive children?

There's no point making that claim, like it's a fact, unless it can be supported. Maybe it is true, but until I see the data that proves it, I won't take ImagineReality's word for it.

Deny ignorance, don't embrace it.

reply to post by tezzajw

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So if this child were to be given to these parents, and the next day the father keels over and dies from a stroke, or heart attack or another health related death, that it'd be ok for the child?

Or are you relying solely on the capabilities of the mother figure to care for the child after her husband passes?

"It doesn't matter if he's fat, if he dies the mom will take care of the kid"

That doesn't seem very fair to be honest.

reply to post by tezzajw

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so let me get this straight, this guy if 6ft, and weighs 340 lbs? because of this he can't have a kids? Complete and utter BS. IF anything he needs a kid, somebody to make him more active. Most people that WANT kids, and are capable of having kids, should get them. he works in a call center, he sits all day, you wonder why he isn't 180lbs? seriously, the majority of people in call centers are fat, thats a given.

This is no reason for him to be declined. If he was a schmuck, yes, being fat, no.

Camain

Quite frankly anybody who is not capable of taking care of themselves should not be able to take care of anyone else before resolving their personal issues. I don't care if I risk insulting the sensitivities of a whole wealth of people in saying that while some people who are obese/fat (or whatever term you want to use to describe them) genuinely suffer from genetic or glandular disorders [edit: as well as those with depression] which cause them to gain wait due to a slow metabolism or other glandular effects (as well as those, according to recent research that genetically have lost the ability to realise that they are full and continue to eat throughout the day), there are those who are just plain greedy and lazy and have no desire to be healthy.

It is this latter form that definitely does not deserve to look after children as their lifestyle choices will likely be passed on to their adoptive child who will likely be put through a life-time of health-disorders related to this problem and indeed may then pass on these problems to their genetic offspring, should they have any. Lets not even mention the burden on any health services by these people.

Furthermore I'd agree that a simple test to discern the ability of any "over-size" person to have kids is to ask the to shed some pounds, its a simple sacrifice that returns nothing but benefits in the long run and should they be unwilling to do it then tough cookie, no kids for you.

I wouldn't limit it to obese people either, it could be applied to anyone with bolemia or anorexia, indeed any mental condition.

I myself am epileptic and would not be shocked if I was rejected as a prospective adoptive parent, indeed I would be surprised if I wasn't.

[edit: some typos corrected]

[edit on 12-1-2009 by CloudySkye]

reply to post by tezzajw

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You missed the point!

The original statement from ImaginaryReality1984 was:

"Obese parents tend to bring up obese children"

Not:

"Obese parents tend to bring up obese adopted children"

My point was, if you look around you, data isn't neccessary to show us the obvious. It IS a "fact" and I can "support" it everytime I go to the supermarket and see them with my own eyes!

Deny lazy reading, don't embrace it.

Where do I go from here, given that you've made that statement?

I have to shake my head and wonder...

Ok, you tell generations of scientists, back to the days of antiquity, that they don't need data to support their claims. All that they have to do is to look around and the conclusion will be obvious.

Please show me data from some type of family planning agency that shows adopted children are more at risk from becoming overweight, if their adopted parents are overweight. It's a simple request. Don't wave your hands and shrug it off. Prove the claim or retract it.