British husband told he's too fat to adopt.

No, no. I asked those questions to try to understand your position on this. I can see what you edited and where you did so.

I don't understand which angle you're arguing from. Is it a combination of all you have mentioned, or just the life expectancy?


The illogical extreme, that you've created, is that obese people aren't fit for parenthood. Which, when taken further, means that you're judging the millions of current parents who are obese.

reply to post by Exuberant1

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All totally unrelated, and I think you know it.

If the parent doesn't see it fit to understand why these rules have been put in place and refuse to abide by them, perhaps that alone is why he should never adopt.

If the man is that much over weight and can't take care of himself then he doesn't need to take care of a child. Children are a big responsibility and deserve someone more responsible for their health. If he wants to adopt that badly then he needs to lose the weight and show some respect for himself and the responsibility needed to raise and care for a child. The adoption center is right in my book.

I have to agree with you. I see no reason to believe that the guy can't be a good parent simply based upon weight. That alone should not disqualify him, IMO, as long as he's capable of normal day-to-day tasks, which it appears that he is.

You're avoiding one question that I asked in the original post.

WHO gets to decide that a BMI of 40 is a defining measure of someone's ability to be a good parent?

Why are the authorities so rigid with this arbitrary BMI number? Shouldn't each individual family be judged on their merits, just as each potential child being adopted is also an individual?

Authorities want black and white laws. It's too bad that humans are wonderful shades of grey and every other colour of the rainbow.


Exuberant1, you know it, mate. Some of us can see the writing on the wall before it happens.

reply to post by tezzajw

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Oh for gods sake!

I know you would like to think that I'm placing everyone who is slightly over weight to dangerously obese in the same category but I'm looking at the specific facts here.

The man is 150kgs, which is very very overweight. Indeed, I am arguing from the standpoint that his life expectancy will be very much shortened.

I believe that if this man is willing to take on the responsibility of bringing up a child, he should take on the responsibility of making sure he is going to be fit to be a parent in the first place. I have worked with people who at most have been 135kgs, and being extremely unhappy, and very unhealthy. I can't imagine how someone who is 150kgs should be trusted to look after themselves, let alone a child.

No worries. I've got you clear this time. That's all I needed to see in the quotes.

You're pretty much reducing him to the level of someone who is disabled. Yet, he still manages to go to work and pay his taxes. He and his wife are also willing to bear the financial responsibilty to raise the child. But, you don't think he should be trusted with that, as he's too fat.

Sure, no-one should be blocked from adopting but they shouldn't be surprised if someone who is more likely to give the child a better standard of living is given priority. People can't just suddenly say that they want to adopt one day (before you start saying "what makes an obese person less of a parent than a normal person") because background checks and all sorts of other investigations are done to ensure that the child isn't put into another abusive family.

In my opinion, from a list of potential adoptive parents, a child deserves healthy parents rather than subjecting a child to crushing loss, because of the illogical need to appear indiscriminate.

reply to post by tezzajw

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It is like that here as well. I recently just heard of a couple being turned down because one was too old and the other had diabetes.

reply to post by dodgygeeza

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I don't think weight should be a factor. I am 1.89m tall and weigh 127 kilos. I would probably be around 90 kilos if it weren't for constant strength training. I feel that I'm a good parent, my weight has nothing to do with it. Granted, I'm in excellent shape from working out but still. I would be pretty pissed off if someone told me I couldn't adopt because of my weight. I'd probably rip the doors off of their car on my way out. They should measure the persons ABILITY to parent not his weight IMO.

I can tell you are trying to spin this in a way that makes me look like I'm basing this off an aesthetic standpoint. Yes he's "Fat", but that's not the issue. I am not doubting for a second the man's ability to be a loving parent (I haven't said that, nor would I have any reason to), I'm only thinking about the rights of the child as sometimes an abusing relationship can be through passive means.

Yes, you are that weight because of hypertrophy, not fat.

Carrying your own body weight in fat is different to muscle. Where you are most likely extremely fit and healthy, it is the opposite end of the spectrum that this man is obviously on (unless the article failed to mention that he is a avid body builder, in which case it would be beyond ridiculous)

Healthy is subjective. Life doesn't always present two young, Ayrian parents both willing to adopt.

I could imagine some of the children, waiting to be adopted, who would be keen for a loving couple to adopt them. Children see the world through different eyes. They wouldn't necessarily see someone 'fat' when they're going to be cared for.

reply to post by dodgygeeza

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How are you coming to the conclusion that they will abuse the child "through passive means"? Just because the man is overweight it doesn't make him a bad person nor unfit to be a parent.

So now some fat parents can be passively abusive?

Wow. You've gone from one illogical extreme to another.

Fair enough, I guess. It's your right to. Just when I thought that you were sticking with the life expectancy issue, you throw in another juicy tid-bit about what you're really thinking.

Are you kidding me!? Please say that your comment was some kind of sick, mad joke because I think I have just been indirectly labelled as some kind of Nazi.

Are you completely mad? Why don't we try to have a reasonable discussion without the silly little assumptions that you seem to be coming out with in each of your posts.

It's got nothing to do with being a NAZI and I wasn't claiming you're a NAZI and I didn't mention the word NAZI. This thread has nothing to do with NAZIs. Would you like me to make it any clearer than that?

An Ayrian race is supposed to be a race of perfect people. You're the one wanting perfect adoptive parents, not me.

reply to post by tezzajw

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I agree with you tezza. They should let this family have a chance. There are so many children that need homes yet they seem to think that only "skinny" people are able to be good parents. This is seriously garbage. The man can obviously support a family, why not give him a chance?

reply to post by dodgygeeza

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I understand that but I still don't see where the man's weight is an issue. He'll lose some of it running after a kid, that's for sure. Like I says, if the man is fit enough to be a functioning member of society he should be able to adopt. I didn't see anywhere in the article that he was bedridden and had to use machines to move himself around. The man should be given a chance.

On a side note- You know the kid will eat well. Men don't get that big unless their wives are hella good cooks

reply to post by tezzajw

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This is utterly painful. Why do you insist on deliberately misinterpreting everything I say to satisfy some kind of victim mentality that you have. When I say "sometimes", I mean "sometimes". When I say "can do", I mean "can do". When I say "indirectly", I mean "indirectly".

As we're jumping to ridiculous conclusions based on what you perceive yourself as some kind of "white knight", completely based around deliberate misinterpretation and straw man arguments, I'll join in.

Actually, no I won't because this is beyond pathetic.