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Sex and Aliens

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posted on Jan, 14 2009 @ 03:41 AM
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reply to post by SonOfChaos
 


LMAOROFL!!!!




posted on Jan, 14 2009 @ 03:56 PM
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Man, this thread has brought some serious laughter for the day. Not sure if it was sincere or done as a joke, thanks anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of it.



posted on Jan, 22 2009 @ 04:06 PM
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I just had a nightmare where I was being held down by four Reptilians while a female reptillian was riding/molestering me... A grey was a camerman and director...luckily it was just a nightmare...it was actually just plane old greys anal probing me


My Lord...interstellar pornography...could it happen...

I'm going to gouge my eyes out now thank you...



posted on Jan, 22 2009 @ 04:26 PM
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ha this thread has really cheered me up. I work in a mental hospital with some of the skankiest individuals you could ever wish to me. Seriously, dribbling over medicated and never heard of personal hygiene (am I painting this picture vividly enough). Last Sunday a member of staff was caught having sex with a patient.... hell that is alien!



posted on Jan, 22 2009 @ 11:17 PM
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Both of you need to be fired



posted on Jan, 23 2009 @ 11:08 AM
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posted by zorgon

"Both of you need to be fired "


WTF

Of course I realise that this is serious abuse of a vulnerable adult. The woman in question was fired and rightly so. However, I fail to see why you think I should be fired. You have either
A Jumped to a conclusion that I consider the action acceptable
B No knowledge of employment law
C Both A and B



posted on Apr, 5 2009 @ 08:55 PM
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reply to post by ufo girl
 


It sounds just like what I heard happens in the morgue, from very reliable sources... there are some nasty SNIP out there

edited for the sake of decorum

[edit on 5-4-2009 by seb2882]



posted on Apr, 5 2009 @ 09:53 PM
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this is the funniest, greatest, most unpleasent, and yet incredible thread on ATS i've ever read....HA!!!!!!! Pube confetti?!?! Radiation herps? wow im going to laugh all day!!!



posted on Apr, 5 2009 @ 10:10 PM
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Only a sick puppy would have sex with an alien.

Human girls are much better.



posted on Apr, 5 2009 @ 10:15 PM
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There are some sick, sick people on here!
Seriously! As much as people like to kid and joke about stuff like this, it's actually a very serious topic! Can you imagine what having an abduction experience like that could do to you? It's bad enough when the perpetrator is another human being but to feel as though you have been violated by something "animal" is just too repulsive! Whether aliens really are engaging in this behavior or appear as part of a hallucinogenic manifestation (i.e., sleep/seizure disorder) hardly matters to those who experience it. The bottom line is that it is "reality" to the victims and poking fun at it is only going to make those people feel even worse than they already do. The question of why it happens is still important but can we please put the potty humor aside for just a little while?



posted on Apr, 5 2009 @ 11:03 PM
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As far as the dreams go, I'm thinking it might have been a succubus. Was the farmer taking Ambien?


suc⋅cu⋅bus - noun, plural -bi  [-bahy] Show IPA .
1. a demon in female form, said to have sexual intercourse with men in their sleep.
dictionary.reference.com...


Regarding the Anal probes, I believe they were developing and refining the prototype
for the first "Snuggie" which allows easy rear access.





I love this place. Regards.......KK



[edit on 6-4-2009 by kinda kurious]



posted on Apr, 6 2009 @ 12:02 AM
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What the living hell use would an alien trying to crossbreed with a human have for "ripping out pubic hair".

SERIOUSLY MAN!! What is with these aliens!?!? How the hell could he perform during a carpet removal service!?!

And no kiss!?!?

And no shaving of armpits...
........WHAT THE HELL!?!?



That was the aliens good buddy telling him, "If you really wanna make em happy.....rip out your pubs-they really like it...no really, I'm serious man !"


Mama said to marry an American... she never said he had to be human



too funny. geez.



posted on Apr, 6 2009 @ 12:32 AM
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Seriously. If sex and aliens is on your mind you need to get out of your moms basement and meet some girls from earth.



posted on Apr, 6 2009 @ 12:48 AM
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Sex with aliens?.... hmmmm
I do remember I had a dream one night. There were 3 gorgeous blondes who told me they had a spaceship and they wanted me to come check it out with them. They were as tall as me and I'm not short. Anyway they charmed me with their good looks. Then they all wanted to have some fun after I was on board. I didn't have any complaints. If they wanted to come back, I wouldn't complain. I found it interesting that in a picture list of aliens, there is a group of blonde aliens, a bit taller than most normal humans. All these people talking about having sex with the other nasty looking aliens are just sick. No anal probes in my story.

Ewww, I just read the second page after posting this. That last post, sick, sick. I'm kidding. I don't remember talking to any charming gray aliens.

[edit on 6-4-2009 by orionthehunter]



posted on Apr, 6 2009 @ 09:24 AM
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I remember this story. He said he believed they needed a "good stallion".
That made me laugh as well.



posted on Apr, 6 2009 @ 10:33 AM
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Originally posted by aleon1018

Originally posted by HugmyRek
I believe the 'anal probe' has always been middle aged mans' way of expressing discomfort with the mid aged checkup colonoscopy; in a manner of abstract humor.


I've had this done a year ago and since they put you under enough not recall the event...

People with abduction experiences may have some type of marker such as implants, scoop marks and or unusually high radiation exposure.



I meant on the 'overall' in the way of humor. I believe your story, too. For you an intestinal injury-for me some back (and brain) work. The part about the dog... (I just want to say that is awesome).

I just mean that I don't believe that aliens shove a huge contraption up people's rears as some type of remedial type procedure as a status quo-which is what the 'anal' probe jokes and caricature seem to elude. I don't even believe they need to do it to take a temperature. I myself have yet to have my first colonoscopy.

I just feel the predominance of the anal probe phenomena, as related to aliens, stems more from the wide oncoming of middle aged colonoscopies in modern health care--cases like yours being used in creativitity, to either playfully downplay somewhat the emotional trauma of having a doctor's procedure tickle so close to the homosexual 'no fly' zone, as well as to kill two birds with one stone: everyone want's somehow to understand the strange and creepy alien events. And let's face it-that's gotta hurt.

I don't have awesome language (well time) to phrase that all completely well. I hope it came out alright.

It might have had something to do with naval sonar in the Puget Sound of the west coast, or with something ungrounded-or rather something I personally don't understand, but recently, while working in the bildge of a ship and not very strenuously-cleaning after a weld or something monkeybrained; something zapped my back. We weren't sure that we didn't need to call the paramedics. Worse than not being able to freely move my legs-I couldn't crawl or drag around to sit without screaming pain. Too embarrassed to inform anyone I held up and it eventually cleared to the point where I could shuffle about and pretend to be fine.

Anyways, some morning in the following weeks as I lay on my belly, which is how I learned to sleep during the year of my back surgery...

I had a somewhat painful phenomena occur relating to the/a 'fix' on something to do with that bone, which, well, the cord there was sheathed in a ceramic bead like 30 years ago. I was completely awake, and not so much paralysed as cognizant not to move as a searing pain in the form of electrical 'zapping' occurred at the base of my spine. I was aware that the activity stemmed from a ship above me. I was 'aware' of someone trying to figure out how to do this through 2 stories as I was on the ground floor.

They didn't replace it or keep me devoid of pain. I still believe I'll end up in a wheel chair at any turn and tend to behave accordingly. I fully believe they kept me walking. Whatever or whoever.

Far be it for me not to believe what has happened to you.



posted on Apr, 6 2009 @ 11:54 AM
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Seems like stuff like this has happened before:


Genesis 6:4 (King James Version) There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.


[edit on 6-4-2009 by sir_chancealot]



posted on Apr, 8 2009 @ 08:59 AM
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Originally posted by HugmyRek
I believe the 'anal probe' has always been middle aged mans' way of expressing discomfort with the mid aged checkup colonoscopy; in a manner of abstract humor.


On Topic:

This is pure Gold and addresses above post:


A journey into my colon -- and yours



www.miamiherald.com...



Seriously, they are not actually that unpleasant and could save your life. ( It did mine.) The prep is the worst part, but here's a secret: Beer is considered a "clear liquid."

Regards.......KK

[edit on 8-4-2009 by kinda kurious]




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