When the money goes, so does the toxic wife

I think it is that simple, men and woman but not all, use each other. Then when they get what they deserve they whine and look for an easy way out..there isn't one.

As someone pointed out the way the sexes react is very different. But bottom line someone gets hurt.

I would love to see an article posted about a man that used his wife for cash, probably not at as common but I am sure it happens. Never hear of them though.

I have worked my entire married life, longer than I care to admit, and appreciate what I have. I wouldn't mind having a sugar daddy for awhile, and believe me I would appreciate every one of his $$.

And hunka...we get it you are a great husband with a beautiful wife.

reply to post by NephraTari


I understand what you are saying. You are blaming the guy for marrying a beautiful woman. Instead of blaming the beautiful woman for acting like a fool.

I don't think you understand how many women (and men) play a great role up front and are extremely convincing. Sure... I can spot a conscious gold-digger a mile off. But someone who is a gold-digger, but doesn't necessarily know she is one at the time can convince anyone she's genuine.

At the end of the day, one thing I agree with you on. It is VERY important that parents teach their children how to pick a mate. No one ever gave me any guidance.. simply "One day you will fall in love". Which didn't help me much at all.

I went through two wives before I realized how to spot the toxic wife.

I've now been married for 7 years, the longest ever, and it's like nothing I ever thought it could be. She's the same gorgeous kind of woman on the outside, but she comes from a strong family. And that is what I have found to be the key.

Simply don't get involved with any woman who doesn't have a strong family that helps each other in tough times. Watch how a woman is with her father... does she use him? If so... she'll use you. Does she admire him and honor him? If so, she'll do the same for you as long as you treat her with the same respect and love her father treats her with.

reply to post by HunkaHunka


Happy New Year Hunka :-)

I was about to post something controversial and antagonistic - but thought better of it

it's the first day of the year - and I really don't feel like squabbling today...maybe tomorrow

so, I'll modify it a bit (which I realize won't help, but here goes...)

I understand what you are saying. You are blaming the guy for marrying a beautiful woman. Instead of blaming the beautiful woman for acting like a fool.

the blame belongs where it belongs - he may have married for the package - but she did the same - you could say they deserve each other - but, somehow it's his fault - still?

men can't catch a break in all this - you're right - she's entitled to her fair share of the blame

it's an obvious thing to say that there are unappealing and difficult personalities that come with either gender - and all the variations on gender thereof - so obvious that no one wants to deal with it

but I get tired of everything always being the man's fault - no matter what

and, I'm not a man

how many times have we each known people who have "fallen" for the wrong person for the wrong reasons?

or fallen for the wrong person for the right reasons even?

I have personally known 2 women who managed to convince themselves they were in love - because they wanted children

they weren't in love - and you can imagine what happened to their marriages after the children arrived and they had the house - and all that comes with it - and the guy suddenly wasn't that necessary to the arrangement anymore

if people were honest at the get go - they would realize that marriages/relationships happen for all sorts of reasons - and none of them is inherently wrong - it's the lack of self awareness, the misrepresentation - the dishonesty - that's wrong

and women are just as guilty of this as men

...I don't think you understand how many women (and men) play a great role up front and are extremely convincing...

exactly - and if we were all being honest we would admit that we've all been fooled - at least once

or worse - we see it all up front, but believe somehow our love will fix everything

Watch how a woman is with her father...

or sister - or friend, or cashier at the grocery store...

this applies to men too

how people are with other people is how they'll be with you

it seems so simple...but we always think: "he/she is different with me"

they're not

anyway - women weren't born with halos - they're just as human as the men

reply to post by Spiramirabilis


Thanks for the wonderful contribution Spiramirabilis.

You are right about the relationship part being more than just with the parent of opposite gender. There are some specific relationships that we have with our opposite genders, and sometimes that's the extent of our "broken-ness". However, in other situations it bleeds into every relationship as well.

Also, keep in mind, I'm an only child.

Myself, I never found a good female mate until I settled all my issues with my Mother and became good friends with her. My relationships with men evolved at a much quicker pace. I feel that the more self aware we become and the healthier our relationships with our parents, the better our ability to have relationships with folks of those genders.

Thank you for an amazing post.

reply to post by HunkaHunka

Myself, I never found a good female mate until I settled all my issues with my Mother and became good friends with her.

so interesting to hear you say that - once you really know your parents as people - it changes how we see other people - and ourselves

and you're right - self awareness does help us understand the opposite gender that much better

we finally realize they're not that different - we're all people first

and as people - we mostly just don't want to be treated like crap

if I were in charge of this planet and got to make the rules - no one would get married and have kids before they were at least 27

before that - almost everything you think or believe is just theory and hearsay

but I'm not in charge :-)

probably just as well

Dude I never said I blamed anyone. I simply said he got what he deserved as did she. If you don't marry for love.. be it money or trophy wife.. you shouldn't be shocked when it falls apart when one of the elements disappears be it money or her looks fade.

I love how people are trying to make me look like I am blaming the man when all I am basically saying is that I do not sympathize with him because he was no less shallow in choosing her than she was in choosing him.

I give up.. twist my words.. Its easier than admitting what I am saying makes some sense.