When the money goes, so does the toxic wife

When the money goes, so does the toxic wife

The Telegraph

'You loser!" screamed Katie, aiming a vase at her husband. "You've destroyed my life,'' she continued, hurling it. "Just look at my hair, look at my nails! You loser, you jerk, you nobody."

Katie's husband, Jack, whose property portfolio disintegrated in the financial crash, had just told his wife that she would have to cut back on her thrice-weekly visits to Nicky Clarke, the nail salon in Harvey Nichols, and the oxygen facials, chemical peels and seaweed wraps at Space NK.

Not only that, but they no longer had the money to pay for an army of bullied Eastern Europeans to wait on her hand and foot.

(visit the link for the full news article)



[edit on 31-12-2008 by HunkaHunka]

[edit on 31-12-2008 by HunkaHunka]

Another case is Sasha who, for the past few months, had been gloating about the £3.4 million chalet in Verbier her husband was about to exchange on, how she'd managed to hire a high-society interior decorator to do it up for a song (''more an anthem, actually", she'd giggled) and how much she was looking forward to a white, snowy Christmas there.

At the last minute, Husband pulled out of the deal. Never mind that he had lost his lucrative job in the City, she felt he had deliberately traumatised her and is suing him for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty. '

'She's got the personality of an overindulged infant,'' he sighed, ''a spoilt brat who starts screaming the moment a toy is taken away.''

You REALLY need to read this entire article. Let this be a lesson to others. We hear constantly about how horrible Men can be to women.... but now the Manolo Blahnik is on the other foot.

The Telegraph
(visit the link for the full news article)

[edit on 31-12-2008 by HunkaHunka]

Originally posted by HunkaHunka



You REALLY need to read this entire article.

[edit on 31-12-2008 by HunkaHunka]

I think I've read enough. I hope she gets nothing and has to do manual labor. It would do her some good.

reply to post by HunkaHunka


Here's a story a friend of mine sent me yesterday:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Let's get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Not to be harsh but what is your point?

There are ugly people of both genders.

Things like this are usually a symptom, not a problem. Is it really that she can't get her hair and nails done? Or is that she scared that their future may go down the sewer?

People react strangely to stress. They don't like change. And her life is changing obviously.

So instead of always looking at the obvious as the problem, look at the root of it and see the real problem. That this person is scared to death.

Poeple don't always know how to express themselves. And everyone always assumes everyone knows how. She may not even know what she is afraid of, it just manifests itself as nails and hair.

After nails and hair, comes trips, cars, clothes. AFter that comes house and everything else.

These men can't put all responsibility on the women. They did indulge them after all.

If I gave my toddler a cookie everyday, and then after a few years I said: no more cookies, what do you think it going to happen?

if these men didn't intned on creating spoiled brats, then maybe they should not of indulged their eveyr whim. And expect people to change on a dime.

And not to mention, I would like to know how many of these women were married for looks, connections, or to be trophy wives. I hardly doubt the using is only going one way.





[edit on 31-12-2008 by nixie_nox]

Some (or most?) women have an inability to link events, like lose job, lose luxuries, external problem.

Lack of reasoning ability. For (a different yet similar) Example, my girlfriend:

Someone rear ends me a few years ago, she gets mad at me for wrecking the car, she has no car to drive now, it was ruined when I had it, she's very angry and screaming at me, I can't reason with her at all, never mind the young man who failed to stop, it was not my fault at all, but to her it is.

I had the car, car got hit, I get tongue lashing like I intented to do it.

The emotions of a woman seem to displace logical thinking ability.

At the last minute, Husband pulled out of the deal. Never mind that he had lost his lucrative job in the City, she felt he had deliberately traumatised her and is suing him for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty. '

'She's got the personality of an overindulged infant,'' he sighed, ''a spoilt brat who starts screaming the moment a toy is taken away.''

Like the quote from OP's link, I deliberately smashed her car, her toy is taken away, she starts a screaming tantrum.

Lucky for me my girlfriend is not a gold digger, I don't attract those types I can see though, the thought process behind this, husband loses job, your a real bastard, you ruined my life. Their is another difference, I am stuck with her and she always comes to her senses when logic prevails and the emotions come under control.

But these women are different, they only care about themselves, and worry about how others see them, they rate self worth with wealth. They must worry at night about losing prestige.

But what really sucks, is that some of these gold diggers find yet another sucker, I'd like to see some of these leeches get a taste of peasant-hood, to go serf-ing with the rest of us, perhaps find out what having nothing is like.
A mud facial from a ditch.
The thing.

Adults that never grow up.

She needs to sentenced to work at a soup kitchen for 2 years, then to another 3 years of working in Africa where people are staving to death.


This type of person is nothing but selfish, self-centered, immature, greedy, and has no concept of reality, only her own reality.

[edit on 31-12-2008 by Realtruth]

Originally posted by nixie_nox
There are ugly people of both genders.

Ugly people need their hair and nails done. Beautiful people shine regardless.

Is it really that she can't get her hair and nails done? Or is that she scared that their future may go down the sewer?

It's the fact that she can't continue to live in her bubble and look down on everyone and can't be treated like someone special....because she probably isn't.

Insecurity.

So instead of always looking at the obvious as the problem, look at the root of it and see the real problem. That this person is scared to death.

Because her parents probably had more money than they needed and told her she was a "princess" who deserved the best!

Blame the parents. They shouldn't lie!

Poeple don't always know how to express themselves. And everyone always assumes everyone knows how. She may not even know what she is afraid of, it just manifests itself as nails and hair.

Funny that she knew exactly what's what when it comes to sueing her husband though. She is afraid of having to be like most other people....boo-hoo!

These men can't put all responsibility on the women. They did indulge them after all.

You're right there....when will some men realise that you can't buy a woman and expect to keep her. More like "renting" imo.

if these men didn't intned on creating spoiled brats, then maybe they should not of indulged their eveyr whim. And expect people to change on a dime.

The "brats" were created by the parents....dumb men just endulge them to make themselves seem more successful.

And not to mention, I would like to know how many of these women were married for looks, connections, or to be trophy wives. I hardly doubt the using is only going one way.

The ignorance of wealth is deserved by the dumb.

So glad I'm broke, but richer than any I know.

ps...love that story S.D.

[edit on 31/12/2008 by nerbot]

reply to post by HunkaHunka


Such is the danger of trophy marriages. Sometimes it becomes a case of who leaves who first. In such cases, the man marries the woman for her looks and the woman marries the man for his money. Who leaves who is determined by whether the wife loses her looks first or the man loses his money first. Pretty sad.

reply to post by AshleyD


Yet I am the trophy and still pay for everything.

At least I think I'm the trophy, I'm pretty sure of that.
Maybe like a pipe smoking trophy.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
Not to be harsh but what is your point?

My point is that this is an amazing side effect of the economic downturn. All the rats are jumping ship.

There are ugly people of both genders.

True, but each gender manifests theirs in a different way. We often hear about the cheating male, which is basically following his pro creative impulses as if he were in a hostile environment. It's the effect of an overactive sense of insecurity.

This article is documenting the other side of the coin, that of the symptoms of an overactive sense of insecurity in the female gender.

Things like this are usually a symptom, not a problem. Is it really that she can't get her hair and nails done? Or is that she scared that their future may go down the sewer?

If their future was in jeopardy, then yes. I would say... it's an irrational reaction to a perceived fear.

But you obviously didn't read the article. These people's finances are fine, they just need to tighten the belt a bit currently. Many of these people are still going to be millionaires. So I don't see this as a rational fear based in any sort of reality.

As Jim Cramer says... Pigs get slaughtered.

People react strangely to stress. They don't like change. And her life is changing obviously.

Yep... so why isn't she saying "What can I do to help my family?" Instead of saying "How the hell can I get out of this the quickest I can by finding someone with more net worth?"

So instead of always looking at the obvious as the problem, look at the root of it and see the real problem. That this person is scared to death.

The real problem? Not picking a decent woman to marry.

Poeple don't always know how to express themselves. And everyone always assumes everyone knows how. She may not even know what she is afraid of, it just manifests itself as nails and hair.

You are way over simplifying this. Even though it may have a cause, doesn't justify it.

After nails and hair, comes trips, cars, clothes. After that comes house and everything else.

These men can't put all responsibility on the women. They did indulge them after all.

As I indulge my wife who doesn't work out of the house, but instead cares for my son, her step son. I give her whatever she asks for, because I appreciate her. That may be time, it may be a a new Louis Vuitton.

But do you know what the first words out of her mouth were when the crisis became apparent?

"Maybe I should get a job. We definitely should cut back. What can I do to help?"

So don't attempt to blame the Men due to their indulging their wives.

If I gave my toddler a cookie everyday, and then after a few years I said: no more cookies, what do you think it going to happen?

You are calling these women toddlers?

Do you really believe that?

As I mentioned earlier, I've been pouring wealth based affections on my wife for about 3 years now. And now she believes it's time to cut back given the circumstances.

So no... women are not toddlers. Some are just broken.

if these men didn't intned on creating spoiled brats, then maybe they should not of indulged their eveyr whim. And expect people to change on a dime.

As I mentioned... my wife seems fine with this.

And not to mention, I would like to know how many of these women were married for looks, connections, or to be trophy wives. I hardly doubt the using is only going one way.

You really have very little understanding of what a marriage is. I indulge my wife constantly, when I can. She indulges me constantly, when she can. When we need to cut back, we both do.

I find it hilarious that you project the blame on the affectionate male.

Have you ever read The Gift of the Magi?

[edit on 31-12-2008 by HunkaHunka]

Ok here's the thing. He deserved what he got .. and you want to know why?
You are supposed to marry someone because you are in love with each other and cannot stand to think of your life without them in it.. for better or worse.
He obviously married her because she was beautiful but its very obvious had nothing of value on the inside. There was never any real love there but he married her anyway because he wanted a pretty face to look at in bed and at his side to make people jealous.

You get what you pay for and he paid for that one.

Moral of the story.. Marriage is about love not lust and what looks good.

reply to post by NephraTari


It's to bad the both of them missed the one thing they created together and shipped it off.

Their child. Children should have all the love they can get.

reply to post by Realtruth


That is the most tragic part of all of this. People think the children of wealthy families have everything but quite often they are lacking the one thing that matters most. L O V E! People that marry for status or other reasons do not understand the value of real love and hence do not know how to give it to their children.. the result is those children probably grow up unable to know how to recognize what love is as well because they have never seen it at home. Their parents idea of love was how much money they spent on them.

I married for love 16 years ago at midnight and I have had not had a vacation during that time, I have had to worry about what bills got paid, but I have always been happy even when there was stress because our marriage was based on love. My children appreciate everything they get and know when we do get them something big that we worked hard to get it for them because we love them. When things come easy to people it is easy to take them for granted.

Originally posted by NephraTari
Ok here's the thing. He deserved what he got .. and you want to know why?
You are supposed to marry someone because you are in love with each other and cannot stand to think of your life without them in it.. for better or worse.
He obviously married her because she was beautiful but its very obvious had nothing of value on the inside. There was never any real love there but he married her anyway because he wanted a pretty face to look at in bed and at his side to make people jealous.

You get what you pay for and he paid for that one.

Moral of the story.. Marriage is about love not lust and what looks good.

Again, My wife is beautiful and I spoil her, yet she still doesn't act anything like this. She is the first to want to help or sacrifice.

This is not the guys fault. Why don't you feel these women are just broken?

I feel sorry for any man who gets sucked into the money=love routine with an all too eager wife.

About the reasoning powers of a woman - as I attempted to explain my "fuzzy logic" to him(my BF)...it's a filing system and only women have access to it. We lke it and it works quite well.

I'd explain it but you're a man and would never understand as it is far too complex hee hee hee.

My BF has given up and so should the rest of mankind - the filing system is 100% man-proof. designed by a woman for a woman.

Yes it's frustrating and it's supposed to be. What fun would it be if it wasn't?

In all seriousness though - women do have a totally different way of plotting events, consequences, reactions and logical situations. We can very often come to the same conclusion as a man but the method is....well...inherently female.

[edit on 1/1/2009 by justgeneric]

Originally posted by justgeneric
In all seriousness though - women do have a totally different way of plotting events, consequences, reactions and logical situations.

You hit the nail on the head (with your big pink hammer)

"plotting"

Since you're all going around in circles let me reveal to you the essential wisdom:

Diamonds are the Lubricant of Love!

Originally posted by HunkaHunka

Originally posted by NephraTari
Ok here's the thing. He deserved what he got .. and you want to know why?
You are supposed to marry someone because you are in love with each other and cannot stand to think of your life without them in it.. for better or worse.
He obviously married her because she was beautiful but its very obvious had nothing of value on the inside. There was never any real love there but he married her anyway because he wanted a pretty face to look at in bed and at his side to make people jealous.

You get what you pay for and he paid for that one.

Moral of the story.. Marriage is about love not lust and what looks good.

Again, My wife is beautiful and I spoil her, yet she still doesn't act anything like this. She is the first to want to help or sacrifice.

This is not the guys fault. Why don't you feel these women are just broken?

There are beautiful women with something below the surface. Just because a woman is beautiful does not make her toxic, what I am saying is men that marry the toxic women know what she is from the start and they look past the character flaws because of the beauty. You married your wife for more than just her looks right? because she has more going for her than just that.. when a man marries a woman like the one in that story.. its obvious she has no other redeeming traits .. he married her based on looks alone.. do you not see what I am saying?

Originally posted by schrodingers dog
Since you're all going around in circles let me reveal to you the essential wisdom:

Diamonds are the Lubricant of Love!

Not really. I don't especially care for them at all.. I think its a waste of money to spend that kind of cash on something that resembles a chunk of glass.
Money can't buy you love.. it is as simple as that.