Why are girls so darned confusing?

I dont think she's deliberately trying to confuse you but from what you've said I'd suggest she could be very needy.

You may have been able to relate to each other when you were both unhappy and suicidal, but as a 14 year old girl it's unlikely that she can understand the ordinary, everyday emotional needs of a 16 year old male.

Given what you've said I think perhaps what she needs is a father figure for guidance, but if there is an absence of that she might be trying to fill the gap with two well-meaning younger men.

It probably isn't going to be much fun for her boyfriend either, if she is in touch with you while she is with him.

As much as she wants and needs you emotionally, she probably needs a close physical presence too.

If she still has things on her mind, if she spends too much time by herself she could start brooding again and possibly become suicidal.

Her behaviour may seem selfish, but I don't know if she is able to see it that way.

My best suggestion is to stay friends but don't pin much hopes on a romantic relationship. You say yourself that they often don't last at your age.

With the two of you it might be a matter of finding the right time and circumstances. When you're older, happier and have more understanding of people it could work out.

If not, you can both value each other as friends. There's a lot to be said for friendship in this world.

Long distance relationships ftmfl. Seriously, you're too young to be able to do something like that. It'd cost too much at your age. Just find someone in your area.

i agree with the long distance relationship thing. it is probably more an infatuation at this point. 14 is pretty darn young for her to have her emotions in check. hell man i am pushing 31 and girls still get my emotions all balled up.
life is hard and relationships are harder. you feel like you love when it really is not love and you don't love when you feel like it is...

stick to someone in your area

I would, believe me I would...if there was anyone.

There are plenty of good looking girls, and I'm sure a few of them like me... but I don't feel the same way about them.

Like i said I don't do emotions, if theres not a strong connection with them, theres no connection with them.

Sure never gets any easier,I'm 55 years old,older the women get even more issues to deal with,if someone ever figures it out please let me know,if you make a move your deemed too forward,and if you do nothing at all you hear later how she was waiting for you to make a move,all too confusing to me

Why are women complicated? Because we (men) make them that way! We read way too much into the things that they do, and use "oh, they're just really complicated," as an excuse when things aren't going the way we want them to go. Yes, women are confusing sometimes, but it has nothing to do with being "complicated." I'm not purposely trying to offend women here, but as an example, let's say that you run into someone suffering from severe delusional schizophrenia. His ramblings are totally disjointed, and in about three minutes he's already ranted at you about government black ops, his mother, spiders that can crawl through his webcam, his new bicycle, and about a million other things. You wouldn't walk away from this interchange saying "Gee, that guy sure was complicated. I wish I could understand him!" No, you would look at the underlying cause -- the schizophrenia.

Trust me, whatever this girl's reasons are, you're either over-complicating them or refusing to accept them. Her reasons are either logical, or she's just a confused 14 year old girl who's let her emotions get the best of her and has no idea what she really wants. To be perfectly honest, I would bet that what she told you and your friend that spoke with her is the truth. She probably has feelings for you, but doesn't want to get involved in a long distance thing where the two of you barely ever see each other. Plus, as someone already mentioned, she's only 14, and there's nobody on earth more confused than a 14 year old girl.

Well My advice and this is from a guy how is terrible with women. Well I'm great at cuddling, but picking up girls. :bnghd:
I recommend a read called Double Your Dating which has help me. I just choose to find excues Also reading Men are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. That just helps out anybody. Period. but also somebody close to your age is also a wise choice. I didn't really knew what I wanted in a girl until I was 23 and around here in TX, well they're few and far between.

Dude, you're 16....

There is PLENTY of time to find what you're looking for.

This is NOT the only chick that will ever "do it" for you....

Young women in general rarely know what they want from one moment to the next... At THAT age, it's even more applicable.....she has no clue what she wants...(nor should she, at that age)...any more than you really do...

Don't worry about it...and move on to the next gal for you my friend.... Have patience....you've got plenty of time...

[edit on 9-1-2009 by Gazrok]