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Eternally single...hopefully not for long

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posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 10:27 PM
Sorry if this is in the wrong place. My New Years resolution is that I need to find someone. I have been single my entire life, never really been close to anyone or any of that stuff. I was close once in high school but I messed that up and that is history. I am coming back to the States for a couple of months (I know...bad timing with all of the talk around here on ATS and in the news but who cares.) and this is a great chance to do so. I travel a lot so I know that it might be difficult but I am usually in and out of the U.S all of the time.

I would always tell myself that I didn't need anyone and that I had made it this far. I should just suck it up and forget about it. Now contrary to belief I am not an idiot and I try my best to have some class wherever I am. Sure I can get pissed sometimes and my humor is twisted but I also love to cook, write, paint, DJ, fish, read classics, I can keep adding to the list. I am a great guy but I just can't find someone to go along with me. But its getting very difficult and since I am a hopeless romantic it kills me to be alone. The problem that I found over here in Italy was finding someone who wasn't single and had some class. I have plenty of female friends but they all have boyfriends so I am out of luck with them. Everyone around here is either dating, a cougar or married. I am not looking for those...:shk:

I have to find someone because I want to love. I want to feel loved. I want to have someone to have my back and someone for me to protect. Ok I am getting a little emotional but trust me there is a HUGE amount of emotion locked up inside of me that is waiting to get out.

Now the fun part. Lets say I find someone? how the hell do I go through the process and motions? I have done some very very complicated things in my life and this seems very complicated to do SUCCESSFULLY. Sure any idiot can walk up and talk but I am not looking for friendship or acquaintances. Something much more than that. The lady friends that I have asked all say the same thing. Just be nice and talk to her. Well what if that doesn't work? persistence is key but there is a difference between persistence and obsession and most people don't tell the different between the two in this situation. I have a pretty good time frame to work with but at the same time I don't have forever. ATS isn't the best place to ask but I figured why not. Tips? ideas? suggestions?

[edit on 29-12-2008 by nastalgik]

posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 10:59 PM
I know that's tough. The ladies are right though, and that's the best approach. My bit of advice would be not to go seeking true love just through random encounters. The thing about meeting people randomly is that the attraction can be strong and immediate, but that doesn't make it lasting. So the problem being obviously that you could get your heart broken. But then that is a part of life too, I believe. The best approach is an open one that accepts the natural course of things, whatever they may be.

I guess in the end perspective counts for something. Some believe that they can simply find a type and make it work. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Others believe there is only that one particular person for them. Sometimes they find them and sometimes they don't. It's a fickle game, but I think it can work equally well both ways.

posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 11:06 PM
omg it's your new years resolution?

farout... so you weren't looking for someone last year?

urgh... how about do something other than looking for a relationship... how about have some relationships?

just go out and do it... thats right... simple really

join a voluntary group and help the community or poor people... you will meet lots of people and you will have relationships with people.

and you just never know you might meet someone that you can love in an intimate way...

posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 11:15 PM
Reply to nastalgik....
Karma is a good thing to take note of.
When you go around laughing at other people for their thoughts and ideas you end up alone. You also grow old alone, when you are hurtful to other people.
Im sorry to note, but most all of you posts and ideas come off very rude, and harsh to other members on here..
Id try being a little more likable person, and see where that takes you!

When you send out negtive vibes.. You get negtive vibes in return.

I will break that cycle here and wish you luck!!!

I hope you find what you are looking for, and I hope you will realize how far a little good Karma can go.

[edit on 30-12-2008 by zysin5]

posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 11:24 PM
who are you talking to zysin?

if that reply was directed at me, then I suggest you re read my reply


posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 11:26 PM
No he is referring to me. I don't believe in karma but I might as well try to. And just because I don't believe in a theory doesn't mean that I am being negative. Sure I might be a complete asshole on here sometimes but I do add in a lot of sarcasm on here that I guess nobody picks up on.

posted on Dec, 29 2008 @ 11:52 PM
What you need is practice. Find a cute little "working girl" somewhere, explain your problem to her and follow her advice.

"Working girls" are many time far better therapist than any PhD. yahoo, that got all his/her information from a text book or perhaps some lame apprentice ship program at a loony bin.

Trust me, it will be money well spent!


Being as how you are a to Mexico and hang out on the beach, relax, drink a few Dos XX and let nature take it's course.

After a few "practice sessions" all that "I need Love" BS will fall by the wayside and you can join the rest of us hedonists, enjoy the moment, and party.

It's the natural order of the universe. Once you learn to relax and not seem so desperate; women will throw themselves at you.

Also playing the guitar and singin a bit helps...right Z5.

[edit on 29-12-2008 by whaaa]

posted on Dec, 30 2008 @ 12:22 AM

Originally posted by whaaa
Also playing the guitar and singin a bit helps...right Z5.
[edit on 29-12-2008 by whaaa]

So right man! Good advice for nastalgik!!!

Playing a little music is not only good for the soul, but the laides just love a man who can take them by the hand, and take them out to the beach and play a song for them!!!

Well said Whaaa! Well said

posted on Jan, 8 2009 @ 06:16 PM
My advice would be to forget the bars and club scene. Join something like a group, activity group or club. Something where you would most likely meet someone who shares similar interests with you. This way you can meet first as friends who share interests, you'll have stuff to talk about.

I don't think it would be easy to do that at a bar or dance club. You never know who you're talking to, what you might have in common and there's too much to compete with; meaning most girls just need to show up at a club/bar and wait for guys to approach them. In contrast guys usually have a lot of work to do, a lot of competition.

You should know clubs better than me, didn't you mention you were a DJ?

posted on Jan, 8 2009 @ 06:22 PM
reply to post by whaaa

Are you referring to a "lady of intrigue". I don't know... You'd have to deal with a pimp, a girl who is probably sick of men and who probably has had a very sad life. She's most likely being victimized, and you can get sick, or arrested.

There are so many people out there, you really don't need that negative stuff. You want advice from good people who are not selling themselves for money.

There are plenty of good people out there who have great life experiences from whom you can get advice.

These are just my humble opinions.

posted on Jan, 8 2009 @ 07:15 PM

Originally posted by nastalgik
I don't believe in karma but I might as well try to.

You'd be surprised at how accurate a concept karma is. If Karma says that positive begets positive and negative begets negative then there is actually physiological proof that it is a valid concept.

Dreams are a physiogical process that takes the recent experience(s) of an individual and 'downloads' them into long term is why the body needs to shut down; to focus primarily on what occurred and how best to route them (the process, of course, is automatic).

So if you had a good day then those days experiences will get 'downloaded' into long term memory as positive - along with the environmental stimulii and associations that occurred. Same goes for bad days.

The problem comes when you have too many negative - or neutral - experiences in a row with the same topic/subject/idea/person(s)/things etc....your memory is remembering what it was like in the past and will prep the body for reaction in kind (I can prove this with very lengthy and in-depth links looking at the amygdala; check out my first post in my Subliminal Research Project on ATS ) which usually leads to similar experiences.


You can break the chain but only if you are aware of how your body works and operates. It also doesn't hurt to try new things so as to start a new 'chain' of events by which to base future experience and behaviors. The new creation of a new 'chain' is actually how cults and Scientology retain there new members...though personal awareness of this process and well thought out reflection of one's self will tend to encourage a more diverse social interaction which negates the cult association.

The human mind and body is a strange thing indeed and only through reasoned action can we change our fate...

I hope any of this makes sense and as well I hope that this may help with your endeavor...

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