But one cannot force another one to be attracted or in love with them. The old saying “men want to be loved, women want to be IN love”
are you saying that women want to DO the loving and men want to RECEIVE love?
I don't agree with that. Being IN love is not exclusively female. Being IN love to me means you are not holding anything back. The future looks
bright. You see nothing stopping you. Wanting to be loved is not exclusive to men... what woman doesnt want to BE loved? Most likely a woman who
feels she doesn't deserve it, or one who isn't healthy enough to allow it, and be open to it.
His wife is turning away his love for a reason we don't know. Only she does. And she isn't saying.
Her providing a list of minor things that he needs to do sounds like an excuse to me (if he was always mentally and physically absent, then
maybe a partner asking for more attention, or more help with the house would make sense, but in this case it sounds like an excuse).
I agree. It is an excuse. She is trying to put the blame on him so she doesn't have to look at what she isn't doing. It's deflection. If she makes
him think he isn't doing something right, he will focus on himself and not her. I see her blaming everyone else but herself. Her past and family, her
husband, her remodeled house, maybe even her job, but most importantly, her son. Perhaps she needs to look at her efforts to make the home function
well, not his.
If he wants a chance to save this relationship I think he needs to change his tactics. I think instead of focusing on pleasing her in the way
he thinks she wants to be pleased (i.e. waiting on her hand and foot) he needs to focus more on becoming INTERESTING to her.
Why do you
assume he isn't interesting because he is devoted to the home and child and business and her? Do you think those things make a man a servant? Maybe
he did those things out of love. Maybe he did those things just to keep her happy.. We don't know his motives.
We don't know what she finds interesting.
She is 39, she is hitting her sexual peak, quite honestly I think she is bored with the relationship. I don’t know if it can be saved, but I
think changing the dynamics is in order. Strong women may SAY they want a compliant male that does everything he is told, but don’t listen to what
they say. Fact is she wants a partner that interests her, and she may get way more into it if she felt the need to please and seduce him.
again you assume she is a strong woman who wants a compliant male. And yet say not to listen to that. Yes women want a partner who interests them, and
that starts outside the bedroom, but being at a sexual peak doesn't necessarily mean she is having an affair. Or even that sex is what she wants
right now. quite frankly she doesn't sound bored to me, she sounds frustrated with the child and with the home not being done. and maybe with not
having enough money from the business. And she is taking it out on them. She sounds angry, not bored. Who she is angry at is the question she wont
The angry outburst at the child is where you need to look.. she let it slip out... and he should look at that. Very carefully.
If she is having an affair it most likely is another deflection tactic. A means to soothe a symptom.
What her problem really is could go deeper than anyone suspects. I doubt it is caused by his loving her too much or trying to do for her. And he
sounds like an interesting person to me.