When Did You Choose To Be Straight?

reply to post by DantesLost


When I found men just didnt sexualy arouse me.....duh

TrueAmerican

A lot of things about the various religions don't make sense to me, and this is one of them. They are simply contrary to what nature provided us the ability to do. Why would nature provide that ability and then send down some bible or koran to tell you you can't? Nature said yes. Man said no. But as we can see, that is slowly changing.

Thats an interesting point and a good question.




andre18

Homosexuality is a result/effect, of being intelligent enough to choose between opposite or same sex partners. We are all born heterosexual due to billions of years of evolution, it’s only after we’re born and introduced to the environment and what we learn from it that we choose what we are or what we want to be.

Are we?
And how do you know that homosexuality hasn't always existed? I couldn't make a claim either way as we have very little information on how people lived millions of years ago.And if we were all born heterosexuals,why then,have gays like me,never experienced attraction to the opposite sex?




ofhumandescent

A good post.

Love sometimes knows no boundaries or sex, love sometimes just is.

And very true.




Studenofhistory

I found the information on the gene switch in a book but unfortunately it's been so long since I've read it, I don't remember the title or the author however the book has 23 chapters and each chapter talks about the uniqueness of one particular gene in each of our 23 chromosomes. I hope that helps.

In the smallest of ways,lol.I'll have a hunt round for it though.Thanks.




Wolfie_UK

I reckon been gay is a choice as it goes against what is hard wired into our minds from the day we are born, but as we have become more intelligent then I guess that hard wiring has become somewhat frayed.

As i mentioned a lil further up this post.There are gays like me who have never been attracted to the opposite sex.So does that mean our hard wiring has always been that of homosexuality?




fmcanarney

All action originates from a thought process that involves, on some level of consciousness, a choice.
This is a statement from the "free will" point of view.
All action has been predetermined and is programmed.
This statement is from the hard determinist paradigm.
A determinist cannot rectify the discrepancy between,
the "i was born that way",
and their use and exercize of free will in all other matters.

So homosexual preference is a choice.

Did you not see the question below in the OP? Or did you see it and chose to totally disregard it?

When did you choose to let your subconscious,an uncontrollable part of the brain,think of the opposite sex in physical and emotional ways?

Originally posted by fmcanarney
All action originates from a thought process that involves, on some level of consciousness, a choice.
This is a statement from the "free will" point of view.
All action has been predetermined and is programmed.
This statement is from the hard determinist paradigm.
A determinist cannot rectify the discrepancy between,
the "i was born that way",
and their use and exercize of free will in all other matters.

So homosexual preference is a choice.

Ok, so assume you chose to be ignorant......

And this pic does speak for me (not that I advertise)



But seriously, its not a choice in my opinion, its just what people find sexually attractive. Personally I cant understand a gay persons attraction to the same sex, but hell, I dont need to I am straight....all I have to do is respect that person is different to me (in terms of sexual orientation) and thats all that counts in my opinion

1st knew? ...some time during my grade school years when i discovered my step-dad's hidden stash of penthouses and club zines. The naked guys in these pictorials didn't do anything for me but the ladies on the other hand... hubba bubba. Then i found this reconfirmed when the girls at school started looking less like boys and more like ladies.

I have always found the subject of sexual orientation to be fascinating. It never made much sense to me why plumbing should factor into one's love life, but based on my own experience and those of my gay friends... there is a biological, chemical and/or genetic force at work.

Reading these threads I've realized something: WE CAN'T CHOOSE ANY OF OUR LIKES AND DISLIKES. You (mostly) choose your actions. You can't choose to like Asian women, fat men, monkeys with small tails, your favourite drink, etc.

I am straight, but I didn't choose to be like that. I was born that way. I remember being nine years old and realizing that I was looking at this one boy in class repeatedly...and on the bus...and off the bus in his yard. Then it hit me that I was attracted to a boy! The next year I moved and I was walking blocks to get a burger with hopes of seeing another boy I was attracted to. Every year a new one!

No one ever told me I should like boys, or that was the "right" way to think. I didn't even come from a family that told me one day I would get married to a man and have kids. I started liking boys back in the 60's, so there was no talk of homosexuality at all. After I found out about homosexuality, the thought of being with a woman was totally repulsive.

I think there must be a chemical/genetic basis for sexuality. Logically, these people that think gays can just will themselves to be straight can also will themselves to be gay. How does it feel homophobes? Feel like some a little strange tonight? You can just change back in the morning!

If I could go back and "will" myself to be anything, I would choose to be asexual. I could save so much time, money, and frustration!

Originally posted by fmcanarney
All action originates from a thought process that involves, on some level of consciousness, a choice.
This is a statement from the "free will" point of view.
All action has been predetermined and is programmed.
This statement is from the hard determinist paradigm.
A determinist cannot rectify the discrepancy between,
the "i was born that way",
and their use and exercize of free will in all other matters.

I almost entirely agree with this statement.

So homosexual preference is a choice.

I do not agree with this at all. Preference is not an action. Hence, it is not a choice.

why care? either way.

i don't see why any of it is such a big deal.

prisoners haven't been mentioned... what of that situation? in this circumstance "straight" men and women partake in both consentual and nonconsentual sex.

i dunno if self-regulating population control is an acceptable reason... the Romans have been mentioned... the world wasn't quite so populated then, yet sexuality was still an all-you-can-eat buffet kind of thing, take what you want, leave rest.

animals aren't that great of an argument for or against. humanity, as animalistic as it may be, is the exception to the rule... edit: (rape? incest?)

also it's been mentioned that anyone could go either way when it comes down to it. well, in a word: agreed. (prisoners)







[edit on 26/12/2008 by gravykraken]

It just depends on if you like the same sex or not when you are exposed to body parts of the same sex. I'm attracted to both sexes but i have a limit to what i do with men

I chose to be straight when I realized I was attracted to women. I had a choice to deny this attraction and I chose not to.

Sexual orientation is almost certainly based upon your first sexual experience that is pleasurable. This is so obvious to me that I can't see why there is any debate about this. Sexual attraction is like a drug addiction -- after that first pleasurable sexual encounter you want to keep repeating that experience. (Remember everyone?)

So, if you are indiscriminate about your first sexual encounter, and choose to have it with someone of your own sex, and achieve orgasm, you will probably be homosexual or at least bi-sexual.

On the other hand, if you avoid that first homosexual experience, and seek a heterosexual experience instead, you will probably be heterosexual.

This probably accounts for the high number of pedophiles. I would bet that most pedophiles had their first sexual experience at a very early age, with someone that was very young themselves.

Also, this might be a good reason to tightly regulate homosexual pornography.

Live and learn.

reply to post by CVTman


Its impossible for you to have chosen to be straight after you realized you were attracted to women,and therefore straight.The choice,it would seem,was already made for you.



[edit on 26-12-2008 by DantesLost]

reply to post by gravykraken

why care? either way.

Well,ATS is a discussion site,asking questions helps the debate process.

Originally posted by CVTman
I chose to be straight when I realized I was attracted to women. I had a choice to deny this attraction and I chose not to.

Lol, thats not a choice, thats what your mind was born into. I didnt choose to be straight, its just that I have never found men sexually attractive, but have always found women sexually attractive.

[edit on 26/12/2008 by OzWeatherman]

Originally posted by DantesLost
reply to post by CVTman

 

Its impossible for you to have chosen to be straight after you realized you were attracted to women,and therefore straight.The choice,it would seem,was already made for you.



[edit on 26-12-2008 by DantesLost]

I never said I chose not to be straight, I said I chose not to deny my realization. Don't put words in my mouth. By not choosing to deny this realization and become gay, I chose to accept I was straight. Come on, I don't remember when I learned I didn't like a lot of things. And because I now avoid them, don't tell me I don't choose to avoid them. I know what I choose not to engage in, and homosexuality is one of them

reply to post by fmcanarney


its not an action to be attracted to some form of thing. there for we do not make the choice that I decide i'm attracted to females. Just like hormones in your body, you don't choose to hit puberty at a certain point in life.

you can certainly choose to have sex with the same gender, but you cannot chose who you are attracted to. having sex with the same gender does not make you gay, being attracted to the same gender does.

[edit on 26/12/08 by Ghost147]

Almost all homophobia stems from religion. Most of the people commenting negatively or against homosexuality are religious and have even quoted God, etc...

If a gay person kills someone, punish them like the rest of us. If not, then why in the world do you have the right to do anything or make a rule about anything pertaining to their life?

You don't ...

Why do gays have to make their case to the world? Should we really even be at this stage in time.

Arguing about how homosexuality is a problem or isn't a problem?

There are mass murderers, serial killers, pedophiles, rapists on the loose, and you're concerned with warm-hearted individuals who just want the same respect as everyone else?

Give me a break.

I had more hope for humanity, but it's slowly slipping away.

I propose that "choice" itself is intrinsically driven.
Which means it is not driven by a conscious decision -
We use the word choice incorrectly -
We use it as if it is actually something we have control over.
I propose that it is not.
If choices are intrinsically driven - then choices are already made for us.
They are already part of our being.
We do not make them.
If we get to know and are honest with our intrinsic selves -
then we become free -
and allow ourselves to take appropriate action.
Choice is nature driven -
And - by this definition.
I have only done what was already there for me to do.
What was in my nature to do.

These are the same:

I am straight. I didn't choose to be straight.
It intrinsically chose me.

I am gay. I didn't choose to be gay.
It intrinsically chose me.

reply to post by spinkyboo


so your saying that we are born that way then?

I do agree with you on that statement then, however your generalizing choice way too much and are misinterpreting what choice means.

if i choose to grab my wallet on the table and then set it down again then i just made that choice consciously, it wasn't intrinsically printed on to my "soul" that on this day on this hour on this minute and on this second i have to pick up my wallet.

Now, there is not such thing as choice in nature. nothing chooses the way to be how it is, it is biologically made that way. If you are born with 6 toes there is no intrinsic choice being made there, it was a biological error.

reply to post by DantesLost


I don't think I chose to be straight, as far as I can remember. And I agree that people's sexual orientation is defined as a combination of genetics, hormones and experiences that does not amount to a personal choice, although is probably not entirely defined at birth either. For most people it is probably almost decided in early childhood, sometimes it is subject to change until puberty or even later for people that are very much "in the middle" or with a high potential to be bisexual.

At any rate, I think that the argument of "homosexuality choice or not" is the wrong framework to argue about the morals of homosexuality, because it comes from an "apologetic" mode of thinking, as if, we were supposed to "forgive" homosexuals because they didn't choose to be that way. The implication of this way of discussion is that homosexuality is something "wrong" or evil, and hence it can only be forgiven if we can prove it is not a choice.

But I believe that EVEN if it was a choice, it's nobody's business to judge. Even if it were to change in the middle of a person's life in fact.

-rrr