When Did You Choose To Be Straight?

reply to post by DantesLost


I was 17 when I chose to be straight

I never just "knew"

I don't think that I was "just born that way"

I tried the "gay" thing first actually

I experimented both ways before making my choice

I used self control to gradually accept my ultimate choice to be straight after conflicting emotions, and have been completely satisfied since

Ultimately the choice is yours

Sorry to bum you out inquiring mind but there is your answer and it's the truth

Originally posted by drsmooth23

has anyone ever seen a gay animal?


[edit on 26-12-2008 by drsmooth23]

Interesting you should ask.
I dont recall personally seeing any 'gay' animals - (why give something a label according to an action anyway...kind of puts it in a box, no?) - but here is an article at wikipedia about 'gay' animals.

I know people dismiss wiki - but look at the sources, and info...as well as some science journals concerning this...quite interesting indeed. Seems to shatter some preconceived thoughts of 'fundamentalist' mentality.

Peace

dAlen

KIRKSTERUK

Being straight is normal. Gay isn't as straightforward. What do you think the ratio of hetro/homo is? Homo is significantly less.

People who need glasses are a smaller group compared to those who don't need them.Are they abnormal then?

There are far less people with red hair than black,brown or blonde.Does that mean red heads are abnormal?




Lannock

My statement is not contradictory. If a child does not know about sex how on Earth can it know what it's sexual PREFERENCE is?

Which you yourself answered by saying,

Their answer is usually that they just knew.

How can they just know,if they don't know what sex or sexual preference is?

Reading through the previous posts will not change my OPINION. I never said I was right and you are wrong. You sound like someone who has a major stick up their behind. I wonder what happpened to you to make you gay...

This is why people need to read through the thread.
I have shared my story many times.I,like many many other gays,have never ever been attracted to the opposite sex.From the age of sexual awakening we have always been attracted to the same sex.

I have never been abused,I have parents that are neither over-bearing nor distant.They are both supportive and loving.As a child(like today)I had many friends of both sexes....

Now choice,as I've also said before,means that there has to be 2 or more things to chose from.I have never been attracted to men,so where is the choice? If a straight person says they chose to be straight,then it means they had a choice between homosexuality and heterosexuality.But so many don't even see that reasoning.They are blinded by ignorance.



[edit on 1-1-2009 by DantesLost]

I never recall being attracted to guys really. But i've always had an open mind and just do what feels natural to me.
Sometimes I know a good looking guy when I see one but I think most guys are pretty ugly
I think i'm on the same level as alot of girls are, as in they kind of check out girls sometimes sort of for comparison purposes or say 'she's hot', but they'd never do anything else.

For me this whole topic really isn't an issue, it's exactly the same as some people liking mcdonalds or they don't. It's that trivial for me, it's just a preference.
And I wish it were like that for everyone else too.

No one chooses who they are attracted to, that should be self evident to all. But to make such blanket statements as, ‘you’re totally born that way’ or ‘it’s a total choice’ is to ignore the incredible complexity of human behavior. Everyone is different. Some people are born that way IMO. Others may choose sexual behaviors because of what they get out of it. Genetics plays a role, experiences during the formative years play a role, the psychological effects of experiences during the formative years plays a role, the influences of culture, etc.

People are far too complex to reduce to blanket statements. Sure, pigeon-holing people is easier, but seldom accurate.

--------------------------------------------------------


reply to post by Sonya610



Very well said Sonya.



reply to post by Shadow_Lord



An interesting take SL, and I agree with a lot of it, but as a bisexual male who has been 'in love' with both sexes, I can tell you that true bisexuality exists outside of a purely intellectual decision. To me the test is love. If you can’t fall in love with a particular sex, then you are not truly oriented toward them, whether you have sex with them or not.

reply to post by rightwingnut


Now don't hold back. Tell us what you really think!

All sex is gross. If we weren't so driven by hormones and pleasure we wouldn't be doing it at all.

Oh, and one part of the anatomy cleans up just as easily as another. Something gross comes out of every orifice we've got.

reply to post by resistor


Sex isn't gross if the persons really hot

Originally posted by Lannock
I've had some interesting discussions regarding this with homo- and heterosexuals. The homosexuals always say they knew from childhood they were gay. My question has always been, what does a child know about sexuality to know that they are gay? Their answer is usually that they just knew.

It had nothing do with sexuality or the act. It was more so at 7 I became interested in guys as crushes never girls. More so puppy dog love. Nothing more, nothing less.

My theory is that homo-sexuals (usually male) had one or more of the following happen in their lives (and often due to personal weakness or character flaws) 'become gay':
1. Were abused as a child sexually, emotionally or physically. I don't have any figures but to the best of my knowledge a large percentage of boys who were sodomised become gay.
2. They might have preferred to play with dolls or even dressed up in their sister's clothes and were influenced into thinking they were gay.
3. Had a weak father or their father was never around.

1. Never happened to me. At age 35 I've only met one gay person whom claimed to be molested out of thousands I have met.

2. I played with everyone, boys and girls with toys. I didn't want dolls but, did play with both. I had no sisters to play dress up with and have never had a desire to wear a woman's clothes or be transsexual. The majority of gay men aren't what you think. Most gay men you would not recognize unless they told you. My main toys growing up were GI Joe, M.A.S.K., Transformers, Voltron, and a few others.

3. My father was in the military at one point. He was a very strict father whom loves all the heterosexual things like women, sports, hunting etc. He was always around. If one questioned his manhood in person he would likely make that person lose a few teeth.

As for when we choose to be straight? We are influenced into being straight. It is the "norm". If a boy goes to a new school his dad doesn't ask him "any cute boys at the new school?" does he? Boys take girls to the prom, not other boys and many other things including the media, movies, etc.

My dad asked more in line what my test scores were and what homework I had. I took a bisexual guy to the prom.

[edit on 1/1/2009 by toochaos4u]

[edit on 1/1/2009 by toochaos4u]

reply to post by T0by


The problem is - here in America, we are overun by Christian fundamentalists who think homosexuality is from the Devil.
So much for accepting all types of people.

There's so much hypocrisy in the world it's almost funny - almost...

reply to post by TruthParadox

homosexuality is from the Devil.

Yea and they set up healing camps which have a success rate of about 0.1%. And the majority of those are just bisexuals who are only acting heterosexual.

Originally posted by DantesLost
KIRKSTERUK

Being straight is normal. Gay isn't as straightforward. What do you think the ratio of hetro/homo is? Homo is significantly less.

Would the term defect be better? It is obvious that poor vision is when your eyes are are not working properly, so maybe being gay is a sexual defect....

Does that sound better?

[edit on 1-1-2009 by Xtrozero]

Originally posted by TruthParadox
reply to post by T0by

 

The problem is - here in America, we are overun by Christian fundamentalists who think homosexuality is from the Devil.
So much for accepting all types of people.

There's so much hypocrisy in the world it's almost funny - almost...

Well if you say overrun it is like saying they were not here in ther first place, and at what 80% of the population...hmmm

So why do we not allow 10 wives or husbands? Or lower legal age of sex to the day a girl has her menstrual cycle. Plato had his little boys and slaves as he pondered morality of a society. What rights does a gay person not have that a straight person has? If you say marriage, then you must understand marriage is a religious tradition, so even in that should we change religious traditions too?

July 15, 1996 is the day I chose my sexual identity.

Anyone that says that they haven't chosen their sexuality is lying. Whether you are openly gay, closeted gay, straight, bi, transgendered, into bondage, incest, pedophilia, or bestiality, there is one single event in your life that you WILL look back on as the day that you CHOSE by your -actions- what your sexuality will be.

reply to post by HankMcCoy


It's not ones actions that define a persons sexuality. It's ones attraction to one gender, the other or both that defines ones sexuality.

What someone does is unimportant, what someone wants to do, is.


[edit on 1/1/2009 by Good Wolf]

reply to post by HankMcCoy


Nope sir I cannot think of one single event where I chose sexual identity. If you are talking sex act itself that happened the first time with a female.

Originally posted by T0by
reply to post by resistor

 

Sex isn't gross if the persons really hot

Spoken like a visually oriented young male full of hormones.
Beware of beer-goggles!


reply to post by HankMcCoy


Well, I can't really agree with that Hank. If that were the case, then I'd be self-oriented.

Oh wait, you may be right!

I'm attracted to women...always have been...never was a choice and IMO being gay usually isn't either

-Kyo

reply to post by Xtrozero

Would the term defect be better? It is obvious that poor vision is when your eyes are are not working properly, so maybe being gay is a sexual defect....

My point is to do with the percentage.How many people are needed before something becomes the norm?

reply to post by Xtrozero


Perceptions form reality.
The minority always loses.
This isn't about gay marriage or anything like that, it's about your perception of reality.
The percepton of most Christians is that gays are living in sin and are in many ways inferior. This perception forms the reality of others looking down on these people.

I was born heterosexual, so when I see that a guy likes another guy, I don't understand that. But you know what? I DON'T NEED TO!
Likewise, Christians DON'T need to judge what's beyond their understanding, yet they make it their business to do exactly that.

Likewise, Christians DON'T need to judge what's beyond their understanding, yet they make it their business to do exactly that.

Well said...

I have no idea why people can't let the god they believe in be the real judge. Isn't that how's it's supposed to be?

-Kyo

reply to post by DantesLost

Hmm, I never knew what gay was. I just knew I liked guys. That is the way it was. Now at 45 y.o., I have a partner, 3 homes, and are happy. I never liked girls, although I wish I did. (Social pressure). I know I was born gay. Never had a choice, like if I liked vanilla v. chocolate ice cream.

Yeah, I agree, when did YOU choose to be heterosexual?