Try as many as you can. Glock grips are too big for smaller hands and the pistols are fatter and harder to conceal but they are dependable and accurate enough for defense. Walther PPS is thin, accurate, and dependable. It has a single stack magazine so it holds several fewer rounds than a double stack but that is the trade off for concealability. It has adjustable grips so your hand size can be accomodated. Recoil with 9mm is controlled; I don't know about the 40 recoil, but the nine holds more rounds and that is an advantage.
The revolver is a good idea. The 5 shot 38's are easy to hide and very dependable. Likely you will never draw the gun, much less shoot it in defense, but if you need it it will be there if it is easy to carry. Pick one you can hide and shoot accurately in any caliber you like and it will do what you need it to do.

I used to make suggestions on weapons for people but that always seems to cause problems. Some like the ideas of revolvers instead of Autos! Somelike small caliber, some like large. If you have been shooting before you got your permit then it would help to know what exactly you felt comfortable with. If you are a complete newbee and only got to shoot the weapon they provided to obtain your permit then i would spend some time at an indoor shooting range if possible. Also one that rents differing types of hand guns. Try a few differant types and calibers and if you find one that feels right and if fun to shoot. Thats the one to go with. No other firearm will be right for you if you, yourself don't enjoy practicing with it. Thats the true key to what is right for you. The one that you feel perfectly confident and comfortable to shoot. later asyou get more advanced in knowledge and use, then is when you try the other ideas you may get about a carry firearm!!

Good Luck M'lady, I hope you enjoy shooting as much as I do. Maybe even finding the fun in competitive shooting sports. There are many.

Zindo

Demetre,
I own a gun store/ range in Michigan. I would recommend that you go to a similar business in your area where you can talk to some knowledgeable people who also have the ability to let you test a number of different guns. This could potentially be the most important decision you make in your life.
Basically you want the most powerful gun that you can shoot with deadly accuracy. Don't try to make a decision based on some on line chat. Get some professional help to select your weapon.
When you do decide on your gun I would recommend that you take some lessons to become proficient with the gun you choose. The more training you can take the better. Then practice as often as you can.

Duster

i carry a 1911.

i think its a little big and that people would be able to see it under my shirt but everyone ive asked says they had no idea i have one on.

its a personal choice but the 1911 has been around a long time for a reason, and i like knowing that if i ever have to use my gun i am sending a 45 hollow point to deal with the problem. im not very fond of the 9mm or .38's.

I carry a 1911 too. Ihave a Kimber Custom Raptor and a Kimber Pro Eclipse that are my two main carry guns. That being said I'm not sure that a 1911 is the best gun for person who is just beginning to carry.

Duster