On Monday morning, we were as excited as children as we checked in at the receptionist’s window and were called in to the exam room. I had my list of questions ready, but then realized that I had been sleeping just fine for the past week, so I decided not to bring that up. The gel was warm on my abdomen and reminded me of something I couldn’t remember… but I was about to hear and SEE something real about this being that had basically occupied my entire thought processes for a week now.
Of course, the blobs on the ultrasound screen were indistinguishable to me. Doctor Wentzel had to point out where the tiny little critter actually
was. As he bent over and looked closer at the screen, his brow furrowed and he became clearly troubled. “What is it”? I asked urgently.
Too quickly, he stammered, “I-I don’t know. I-I’m not sure. It’s not… Let me see.”
As I lay there, seconds seemed like hours and the sound of my heart became deafening, I became sick to my stomach and I asked again, “Doctor, what
He turned to me and somberly said, “Karen, I’m sorry. I think there’s a severe problem with your pregnancy. A deformation, I’m afraid. I’m
so sorry, I suggest we take it right away.”
And then I knew. I just knew. It all washed into my mind as clearly as a story that had been told to me. The dreams, the sleepless nights, the
In my recurring dream the previous week, I had been lying in my bed surrounded by several people that I couldn’t see. It was dark and something like
a light cloth was laid over my eyes. I could hear a slight, intermittent buzzing that came from far away and I heard what sounded like sprinklings of
hail on the skylight outside our bedroom. And I couldn’t move; although it seemed that I tried. The dream was the same every time. It felt like warm
metal piercing my abdomen, just below my navel, but it didn’t hurt. I could just feel and almost see it happen. Then a warmth flowed outward from
that point and then coalesced and traveled up to the area of my heart. It happened maybe ten times as I lay there, this warmth, like a wave,
connecting my abdomen to my heart. Connection. The next thing I was aware of, I was being lowered into a comfortably hot, gelatinous liquid. And from
there, I moved out of the dream into a fitful sleep.
And now I knew, it hadn’t been a dream at all. Something … foreign was inside me. Something alien. But the love I felt for this little being was
stronger than any I had ever imagined. The connection was so strong... The connection to my heart… Whoever placed this inside me made sure that I
felt such an overwhelming love for this baby that I would die before I let any harm come to her. Yes, it was a girl. I knew that, too.
Suddenly, I realized that whatever these people in my “dreams” were using me for, I was now a willing subject. Abortion was not an option. I
looked at the doctor and calmly told him that I wanted to think about it and have some time. He suggested I not wait, but a day or two shouldn’t
matter. I got up from the table, got dressed and we left.
Poor Luke was in shock. Devastated. But once I explained it to him (I had instantly become fully aware of what was happening), and he had several days
to become accustomed to it, he became excited to be playing a role in this extraterrestrial adventure that we decided to keep entirely to ourselves
for obvious reasons.
During the next 2 months, my tummy grew visibly every night! I blew up to nearly the size of a fully gestated pregnant woman! I stayed indoors and
avoided all visual contact with family and friends, calling them often to assure them that I was fine, just “in a mood” to be a homebody. When
they suggested a visit, I made excuses and asked for patience, telling them it was just a temporary “down time”.
On the night of the “birth”, Lucas and I went to bed, but couldn’t sleep. I knew they were coming for her and so we lay there, waiting, holding
hands. I felt joyful and honored to know that I had been included in something so exceptional and awesome. I was thankful. They must have known how I
At about 11:30, Lucas and I were wide-awake, talking, when I heard the hail sound that had accompanied my dreams. “That’s them,” I said.
As we watched, eyes wide, 4 “people” appeared around the bed. Suddenly, I couldn’t move, but I could feel their presence clearly and I felt
completely calm and safe. I felt the familiar warm metal pierce my abdomen, but this time, it only happened once. I felt a wave of appreciation from
them. Then I heard a sound I will never forget. The strange cry of my child that wasn’t mine; would never be mine. She was whisked away and lowered
into a bath. I can’t say how I knew this, for I did not see it. It just became clear in my mind’s eye, just as I heard her name. Zonna. It’s the
only word I ever heard them say.