Marriage(religous or civil)

Ok I am due to get married in Vegas in 4 days. Now, the wife to be wants a religous cermony and I say civil. I could really care less either way but since neither one of us are religous I see no need in a religous cermony. But she has it in her head that a religous ceremony is the way it is supposed to be. Which is probably true. Marriage is supposed to be a joining of man and woman in some religous cult thing! I see it as a tax break and the joining of health and car insurance . Anyway I just want some thoughts on this. Is a religous wedding stupid if your not religous?

[Edited on 5-4-2004 by Dusty]

I see it as a religious thing. Also its not a cult thing, unless you are chanting demonic saying and shareing blood. Marriage signifies the joining of two souls into one. Also no offense , but if you only see marriage as a tax break, I'd suggest you tell your soon to be wife that, and see if she agrees, she may see it as more.

Well Most religons are a cult of some type, not all cults are evil though. I just dont understand why I have to announce to a god that I want to be with this woman forever. Does he even care if I get married? Doubt it. My soon to be wife knows my thoughts on marriage but she also knows I want to be with her forever. SO basically I have to say vows that will mean almost nothing to me. To say that I am getting married to join ourselves in gods eyes would be a lie, to me. Now to say I am joining myself wit this woman because I want to be with her forever and the fact that I get better rates on insurance and taxes well that would be the truth. Dont take this outta context, i may sound like I am just getting married for the hell of it. I am not, I love this woman and if standing in front of some guy and telling him that makes her happy, then I will do that.

Because both KayEm and myself are pagan we had a civil wedding which we followed with a pagan blessing.
It was far more meaningful to us than if we had gone to a Christian church just because it was 'expected of us'.

Just a quick note... Christianity was a 'kooky cult' for the first couple of centuries untill the emperor Constantine (of rome) converted coz he saw a comet explode in the air and saw it as a sign from god (dont know why. must;ve been killing christians)

But marriage is what you want it to be... if your going to be with someone for life, you should do it your way coz it;ll be the memory of your life... for me it will be civil... but its up to you

Originally posted by Dusty
Well Most religons are a cult of some type, not all cults are evil though. I just dont understand why I have to announce to a god that I want to be with this woman forever. Does he even care if I get married? Doubt it.

I imagine that the reason behind Traditional Marriage and it's 'announcement' before God comes from when people in general held God(all versions) and thier Religious/Spiritual Ideals as the most important, powerful and eternal. That being so, when one (or in this case two) makes a promise before God or in accordance with what they hold as their most important and sacred aspects of life, it makes those actions and promises that much more personally meaningful and important to keep.

Since you do not have any 'Higher Meaning(better than saying Authority IMO)' it really will come down to whether or not you're a 'Man of your Word'. There are No Ideals or Principles above 'Yours', in your opinion, so should a time come when 'You' no longer hold yourself accountable for the promises you've made, you can break them without any worry, atleast morally or emotionally that is. Same would go for your wife too depending on her beliefs. It is like making a contract with someone where the binding strength & terms of that contract are enforced only by those who are bound to it. Because each person has only to answer to themselves should they decide to break the deal, justifying the reasoning for it is much easier.

My soon to be wife knows my thoughts on marriage but she also knows I want to be with her forever. SO basically I have to say vows that will mean almost nothing to me. To say that I am getting married to join ourselves in gods eyes would be a lie, to me. Now to say I am joining myself wit this woman because I want to be with her forever and the fact that I get better rates on insurance and taxes

well that would be the truth.

You may want to ask yourself whether or not you would still Marry this Woman and Be with her Forever, even if it meant Double Taxes and Worse Insurance. Also, a 'Vow' is nothing more than a Solemn Promise which is made of the most True and Honest Dedication. They do not need to come from 'some book' and probably shouldn't in most cases. They should come from You(& Her) as the words and/or conditions of your 'verbal contract' to each other. It's easy to say, 'I want to be with so-and-so forever cause I love them.', but what does that really mean??

For example, how many married couples have you known who REALLY DO, 'Love, Honor, & Cherish' each other for 'Richer, Poorer' in 'Sickness & Health' Until Death?? Personally, I doubt that half of them understood the meaning of those vows or agree with them anyway. The result is a Marriage built on a foundation of weak commitments and vague purpose. I'm not saying that this should apply to your situation. However, your focus on the 'Tax & Material Benefits' aspect of this Union of Two Lives Into One Until Death, aka: Marriage, is less than convincing when it comes to showing the meaning behind it.

Dont take this outta context, i may sound like I am just getting married for the hell of it. I am not, I love this woman and if standing in front of some guy and telling him that makes her happy, then I will do that.

Actually it sounds like you're going to marry her cause you 'Love'(whatever that means to you) her & for the Economic Benefits. Standing in front of some guy and saying some meaningless words shouldn't matter to you or her, nor should any other action void of meaning or honesty. Your union together isn't for or about anyone but the Two of You, and maybe God depending on you beliefs. I doubt she really wants you to say or do anything that you don't believe in doing any more than you want to do them.

Honestly, I wish you both the best in your life together. Don't take my post in a negative way either, I'm not trying to belittle your connection together in any way. I am just questioning the motives behind Marriage from what little bit you've said, which I'm sure does not fully represent your relationship. Anyway, Congratulations!

My husband and I were married in our friends living room, by a judge. We didn't want to get married in a church, because we don't believe in organized religion. It was still a nice ceremony, and we still had our vows. I think that you should do the wedding, the way that both of you want. Because like specialasianX said, it is something that you are going to rembember for life. But I understand where your comming from, with "you love her so much, you'll do it her way" I guess as long as both you and your future wife are happy, TRULY happy with whicever way you decide to get married, then thats the way it should be done. Only the two of you can choose how to be married.

Congrads on the soon to be marriage, btw

edit: i would love to know mOjOm how you snuck in above me, with that whole post!! (lol, must have been while i was making coffee!!!)

[Edited on 4/5/2004 by smilingsarah82]

You might as well do what she wants, you'll be doing a lot of that from now on

Seriously if it makes no difference to you and she wants it whats the problem?

The whole point of getting married in/by the church is to make a solemn vow to God. It is a vow that can never be broken.


Making a vow to "man" is more easily broken.


You should actually be honored that your fiance' wants to marry you in the eyes of God rather than Joe Judge who gets paid by the hour and could give a hairy gosh darn if you two make it or not.

Do as she wishes. It's not so much the God Thing as the sacredness of your vows. Best of Luck!!!

Why is decding whether you get married religiously or civilly a conspiracy?
I don't think this thread belongs here....

Originally posted by DontTreadOnMe
Why is decding whether you get married religiously or civilly a conspiracy?
I don't think this thread belongs here....

Did anyone ask what you think? Are you a MOD? I didn't think so

Originally posted by DontTreadOnMe
Why is decding whether you get married religiously or civilly a conspiracy?
I don't think this thread belongs here....

Actually, this is BTS - this board is for Faith,Spirituality and Theology, not necessarily conspiracy based. I've posted a few things here too that were nothing to do with conspiracies.

Originally posted by Venus

Originally posted by DontTreadOnMe
Why is decding whether you get married religiously or civilly a conspiracy?
I don't think this thread belongs here....

Did anyone ask what you think? Are you a MOD? I didn't think so

I don't have to ask permission to post my thoughts here. I believe I can pretty much post what I want as long as I am not abusive.

I asked a question. It is a question I have seen posted by other members from time to time.



[Edited on 5-4-2004 by DontTreadOnMe]