I apologize to my opponent for the delay in response, however I am truly grateful for his generosity. Thank you.
What we have in front of us is a lot of opinions based on facts. We see an issue in front of us and my opponent and I have a fundamental disagreement
on what exactly the issue is. I view Santa Claus as a cruel elitist who leaves children in the cold on Christmas, without having taken a second to
contact them and let them know they've been delegated to the naughty list. I believe a phone call should be in order. My opponent disagrees. Thus
an issue before us where we come to separate conclusions.
Let us now take a second to consider a fact that is irrefutable. A fact that can be presented and perceived in only one way.
2008 Presidential Election Results
As Santa is an international entity, I would say that Santa is an independant.
Ralph Nader, this year's current independent candidate, received less than 700,000 votes. Considering over 125,000,000
were cast, receiving what Nader did made up for approximately 1% of the vote.
Despite the difficulty in wining the presidency, independent and third-party candidates often bring attention to their most prominent issues. They can
also affect the outcome between major-party candidates.
"They can also affect the outcome between major-party candidates"
It is an accepted fact that independent candidates for the President of the United States are not a serious threat to actually win it. While they can
create a ripple in the water, the effects of the ripple are minimal and short lived.
So in the history of all American Presidential elections, any independent nominee has never come close to actually winning it. Roosevelt once polled
over 25% of the popular vote, however was never really a contender to win the election. Other than that, there are very few exceptions of an
independent candidate polling over 1,000,000 votes.
Like these past presidential nominees of the same bill, they bring attention to one issue. Santa Claus as a novelty in any election would bring
attention to what? Providing toys to kids around the world? I believe the American public, even if they are as uninformed as my opponent reminds us
and hopes, would expect something a little more tangible than a new Barbie doll or the latest G.I. Joe.
I will now answer my opponents Socratic questions.
SQ#1: Does Santa's obvious attention to weather conditions of the geographical terrain he has to cover negate his sincere dedication to the American
No. The terrain he must cover is absolutely dreadful and I can not begin to imagine the hardships that the reindeer, elves and Mrs Claus must endure.
However, it is his choice to reside there and his choice to make these people call the North Pole home. As it is a choice, it negates nothing and
leaves many to wonder the motif of his choice of home. More on this later.
SQ#2: How do you suppose Santa allocates individuals into the categories of 'naughty and nice'?
If I were to be completely honest, I believe it is either by pure chance (a coin toss possibly) or he has his elves do it. I suspect if elves were
forced to do this, it would be an ideal position that elves would sought. Given Santa Claus' lack of contribution to the process, I would be
surprised if he does this. And as stated, if he actually does do this.. I believe it is only by chance.
SQ#3: What specific policy of Obama's do you view as superior to Santa's projected and inferred stance on humanity?
Since you were unwilling to project or infer any stance of Santa, how can I possibly determine superiority in an Obama policy when contrasted with an
unknown? I'm a little disappointed with my opponents tendency to not actually answer the questions and even more taken back that he would ask the
same question in return after not answering it himself.
I will offer a response though.
Obama's tax plan will provide relief to the middle class who is feeling the crunch during these economic times. Those that Santa Claus leaves out in
the cold, and as my opponent informs us that these families are intentionally delegated to charitable organizations, typically wind up with a
Christmas with little under the tree. Obama is extending his arm and trying to help these people, while Santa Claus doesn't make the time nor effort
to provide anything tangible to these children. He delegates to an underfunded, undermanned program that will do very little for these children.
Obama cares about those that Santa does not.
SQ#4: If blue is your favorite color, does that not reflect upon an inherent bias to Christmas and Santa by association seeing as Christmas colors are
traditionally red and green?
No, it doesn't. My favorite color is contrived from a sports team that I follow and thus was decided upon with no ill content towards the holiday of
Christmas. If my favorite food were potatoes, it doesn't imply I don't like meat. Because my favorite color doesn't fall into the red and green
of Christmas, it doesn't imply that I don't like Christmas.
If these pseudo-psychological gimmicks are what my opponent is relying on to convince our reader that Santa Claus is a realistic candidate in a
Presidential election, then I feel for his supporters.
SQ#5: What is your favorite animal?
Now go Freudian on me and let me know what my deepest and darkest thoughts were.
I will now pose my Socratic questions to my opponent. I do hope that my opponent makes an effort to answer these questions and will do so
SQ#1 - Did you vote in this year's election and if so, who did you vote for?
SQ#2 - Do you feel that Barack Obama was the best man for the job in the 2008 election?
SQ# 3 - What Presidential candidate in this years election reminds you most of Santa Claus? Please pick one.
SQ#4 - Since you emphasize how recognizable Santa Claus is... will he wear his red suit on a daily basis as President of the United States?
SQ#5 - If Santa Claus is President of the United States and thus holding down a separate full-time job, who will provide gifts to the specific
population that he provides? Will he rely heavier on charitable organizations?
Here is the difference in Barack Obama and Santa Claus when considering the crowds that turn out to see either or. And this difference is exactly why
Santa Claus is a novelty and nothing more.
When voters showed up at an Obama rally this past summer, they showed up to hear him speak. They stood in crowds of hundreds of thousands of people
to hear a man speak who they feel can make the world a better place. They wanted the voice of this man to hit their ears and be comforted with the
fact that there is a man out there who is willing to fight for the change that America needs. People went to hear that America is capable of change
and can be a better place. People went to be inspired.
Now when people go to see Santa Claus, what do they do? They go to see
Santa Claus. They do not go to hear him speak or listen to him.
People go to simply see him. Sometimes they fork over a few of their hard earned dollars to sit on his lap and talk to him about what they want.
Nowhere in this exchange does Santa offer a voice of reason to them and inspire them. No, he takes their money for a cheap picture and tells them
whatever it is they want to hear. He makes children and parents, who can not afford it, pay to have a picture taken and to talk to him. I mean, it
Obama greets hundreds of thousands of people and stops to shake hands and take pictures with as many as he can, all without asking for a penny in
This is why Obama is and was a serious contender for the President of the United States. And this is why Santa Claus is a novelty and would not be a
On one final note of my response, I will clarify that I have conceded nothing in this debate and I do believe Santa Claus should be brought up on
manslaughter charges or quite possibly even murder. This debate is a process and I am following its' path. Because I have spent my time discussing
other aspects of this debate implies nothing of the sort with concession. My opponents intent to goad me in other directions is futile.
This is an issue that will be discussed thoroughly and we will also examine the motif behind Santa Claus' choice of the North Pole as a home.
It is all coming down the pipe and the truth will be known to all very soon.