“Cookies And Milk Left For Santa Should Be Low In Fat And Cholesterol.”
Well it seems we can agree on Santa's immortality. That's good. It also appears that my opponent is coming around to my side with regards to
different people have picked up the torch and ran with it.
The fact is that the tradition of Christmas is syncretic; and the tradition of Santa Claus is distinct from St. Nick.
You see it is quite easy to explain these differences over the centuries. Each new man that dons the suit retains some of the nationality of his
Meaning that if the new Santa happens to be Finnish or Canadian or Italian; he would hold a small part of that with him.
From my opponents wikipedia link.
One legend associated with Santa says that he lives in the far north, in a land of perpetual snow. The American version of Santa Claus lives at
the North Pole, while Father Christmas is said to reside in Lapland.
This differing Nationality would help explain why Santa or Saint Nick or any other alias Santa has gone by has been located at different parts of the
The mortality ascribed to Santa by a filmmaker does not outweigh centuries of tradition!
I think I've shown that in fact, one version can help explain the other. The tradition fits nicely into Hollywood's version.
My opponent also claims that Santa needs to be so grossly overweight because he lives up North, where it's cold.
I say that is silly. Whether it is the North Pole or Lapland, there is no reason for Santa to be that big because of cold.
My opponent then shows some pictures of seals and polar bears to show large coats of insulating fat that Santa supposedly needs.
Santa is not an animal, he is human. Although admittedly a different sort of human, a human none the less.
My best guess is that Santa works for the Government in a super above top secret black project testing suits that protect against extreme weather.
I mean he travels to the warmer areas of the world too so the suit has to be good in both hot and cold. That suit must be super stretchy too for all
high fat and high cholesterol drinks and cookies he devours on Christmas eve. Think of the money the government could save by not having to develop
Santa's suit to stretch that much.
Would add up over the years.
So let's get to the Reindeer. My opponent brought up the fat that animals need to survive in the extreme climate of the Arctic.
Reindeer are no different. Although I am sure Santa doesn't house them outside, they still have to fly with Santa on his big night, thus experiencing
the same conditions as the big guy.
They also have thick fur.We know that if the load is lighter when you are pulling things, it's easier to pull. Simple physics.
Now when the big night comes, the only real weight that the reindeer have to carry is Santa and the sleigh.
everyone knows that Santa's bags of toys is magical and doesn't have any weight. If the bag has just normal, our nine friends could never get off
the ground, Rudolph's shiny nose or not.
There is no way that reindeer could sustain that amount of load and still make it around the world in a night.
Seeing as Santa works for the Government, I' am sure that sleigh of his just isn't any old sleigh. It is the most current up to date, composite
chassis that is available, making it very light weight and easy on the reindeer.
The Government isn't going to send Santa out to test its supersuits in an old beat up, used hay ride sleigh.
His is state of the art. So to keep the reindeer happy and healthy, not stressed and struggling, Santa needs to be as trim and in shape as
We could possibly even cut down on the reindeer needed to work on Christmas Eve. I am sure the reindeer would not mind.
We may have to change a few Christmas carols if we go that way but all in the name of progress and Santa's health.
Think about how much stress that the ever changing weight of the sleigh must be through the night for our furry buddies.
I couldn't guess how much extra weight Santa must put on in one night because of the cookies and milk he drinks.
Maybe that is why we only have Santa delivering presents once a year and the Easter Bunny picks up the slack in the Spring.
The reindeer can't handle the extra work load thrust upon them by Santa's gorging on super fattening milk and cookies.
Just think about it, if we give Santa healthy drinks and snacks, we could get presents twice a year!!!
Now if that isn't a reason for....
Cookies And Milk Left For Santa Should Be Low In Fat And Cholesterol
, I don't know what is.