reply to post by bsbray11
bsbray, that would be very interesting to see.
My first assumption would be that the bird would have spit back at you a split second before being knocked out. Since the bird was reeling to and fro
from the salivary projectile, I would assume its own projectile missed you and rather hit your house (assuming, of course, you did this near your
house) which, seeing as the bird's saliva is rife with the avian bird flu virus, would in turn have destroyed up to 30% of the south side of your
house (assuming of course, you did this near your house, and assuming you were on the south side) which in turn started a raging fire.
Then I would assume that, though the neighbors could not see, your house was totally engulfed in flames which was being fed by massive amounts of
common household items (assuming of course, you did this near your house, and assuming you were on the south side, and assuming you live in a typical
ranch style home in a typical suburb, and assuming, of course, you are a pack rat) Then I would assume that after 7 hours of this massive fire, of
which the neighbors were unaware (note: they did see the smoke but I suppose they thought you were barbecuing)(assuming of course you like barbecuing
and the neighbors were aware of this), the central stud of you're home gave way causing you're 8' X 10' velvet painting of Elvis to fall and take
out all the other studs.(assuming of course, you did this near your house, and assuming you were on the south side, and assuming you live in a typical
ranch style home in a typical suburb, and assuming, of course, you are a pack rat, and assuming you like to barbecue, and assuming you like Elvis and
representations of him executed on velvet)
I would then assume that after all the studs had fallen in your home that the outer shell of your home then fell in precisely .054 seconds. (assuming
of course, you did this near your house, and assuming you were on the south side, and assuming you live in a typical ranch style home in a typical
suburb, and assuming, of course, you are a pack rat, and assuming you like to barbecue, and assuming you like Elvis and representations of him
executed on velvet, and assuming your house was only one story tall)
And then I assume that the Macon, Georgia local government came with a big street sweeper and swept all the debris of your house away and sold it to
Portland, Maine as firewood (assuming of course, you did this near your house, and assuming you were on the south side, and assuming you live in a
typical ranch style home in a typical suburb, and assuming, of course, you are a pack rat, and assuming you like to barbecue, and assuming you like
Elvis and representations of him executed on velvet, and assuming your house was only one story tall, and assuming you live in Macon, GA) Then I would
assume that Bart, the local fire inspector, came to find what caused all of this destruction but found nothing to investigate, so instead he went to
the local Math Club to come up with some neat doodles and graphs, which in no way resemble Elvis. (assuming of course, you did this near your house,
and assuming you were on the south side, and assuming you live in a typical ranch style home in a typical suburb, and assuming, of course, you are a
pack rat, and assuming you like to barbecue, and assuming you like Elvis and representations of him executed on velvet, and assuming your house was
only one story tall, and assuming you live in Macon, GA, and assuming there's a guy name Bart in Macon, GA and assuming there is a Math Club in the
same city)
So that would be my first assumption when you said you knocked a bird out of the sky with your spit.
Edited to correct my theory: Having a 8' x 10' velvet painting of Elvis does not by necessity mean that you like Elvis. Apologies if offend thee by
Elvis did I.
[edit on 10-4-2009 by NIcon]
