An excellent post Asme
As a single mother I had a few scares with my daughter when she hit 17. She never had her father around and fell right into the absent father routine
easily (despite out talking about the syndrome and the effects of it).
It seemed she was damn determined to get herself pregnant.
We sat down and we talked about some very serious stuff. Some of which you pointed out here. It was an eye opening experience for me (and her).
I was shocked by how little of my teaching about safe sex, responsibility, love and the rampant hormones of youth, actually mattered to her when she
first formulated this whole romantic notion of being a pregnant teen.
We talked about MANY things. it was a hard conversation but had to be done.
I was brutally frank with her about the effects on the people around her and the repercussions of keeping the baby. And about giving it up.
This is what I pointed out to her. It only takes two people to create a child. It takes literally hundreds to raise it. There were people who would
have to factor in that she hadn't even considered. Impacts that she hadn't considered.
We talked about abortion and the effects of that. I have never had an abortion so I had her talk to my friend who had. A woman now in her 50's who
had both abortion and given up a child up for adoption. It was eye opening for both of us.
In the end it turned out she wasn't pregnant (thank frank), and I am hoping that now she if she decides to have kids she'll remember all that she
learned and do her best to ensure she's having a child with the very best intentions, not just for herself...but for all of the people who will be
involved in that child's immediate future.
It's such a hard topic for people to discuss an generates many passions and fears for both sides of the argument.
I believe it's a woman's choice over all - for someone else to dictate that a woman be forced to carry a child to term as a means of "punishment"
for having gotten pregnant in the first place is a ridiculous premise.
Abortion is a devastating event. There is no way around this. The woman's physical and mental state suffer.
However the effect of having a child under any kind of "forced" (be it social pressure, legal pressure, religious pressure etc etc) is a far worse
fate for mother and child. There are so many other people who can be negatively impacted as well depending on circumstances by the "joyous"
event.
My mother and her brother and sisters were put up for adoption. They were adopted out and suffered at the hands of the people who adopted them.
My friend who is in her 50's - put her son up for adoption and he had a wonderful life. The abortion she had she never forgot, but at the time it
really was her best choice. The pain of giving up her son (in spite of his good success) remains and it's very hard for her.
My BF was given up and raised by his grands - a good but still difficult life being raised by people well past the age to have a rambunctious little
boy dismantling their house
There are more points but I'm on my way out
I support choice. It is such a personal issue and so very defendant on individual circumstance that for a society to even try to put generalized
"conditions" on the issue is extremely wrong.
