reply to post by asmeone2
As someone who HAD an abortion, and the reason I didn't want to put it up for adoption were SELFISH (I will miss it, I'll have empty arms.. the
effects on my body. )
(if I had a 'closed' adoption) I could make contact with that child!
But, no. I killed it.
I WAS a mess for 4 years, even spending 6 months in a mental institution where they almost killed me with Haldol!
Suicide attempts, overdosing on stelazine, not being able to sleep with the lights off and agoraphobia, also psychotic features.........
NO psychiatrist or therapist even put a dent in my traumatic life.
Until I asked Jesus to forgive me!
Deciding to put a baby up for adoption is a long process/
Decisions or signatures made BEFORE the birth of the baby have NO legal ramifications after the birth.
If you have been thinking about raising the child or placing the child for adoption, none of the decisions you made or the documents you signed
prior to the baby's birth are binding on you. You have every right to change your mind as often as you want. However, as regards the adoption
process, there are limitations in your ability to change your mind.
Women can opt for an 'open' adoption, giving her access to the child after the adoption.
Choosing adoption means carrying your child to term, giving birth and then legally giving your child to another couple who assume all parental
rights for the child. While in the past closed and completely private adoptions, whereby the birth mother knew absolutely nothing about who was
adopting her child, was the norm, nowadays birth mothers have a choice.
More birth parents, as well as adoptive parents, are choosing to have an open adoption. In this type of adoption, the birth mother takes an active
role in choosing the adoptive parents, meeting and interviewing potential couples. Often, the birth mother and adoptive parents are able to form some
type of informal relationship and many continue this relationship after the child is born.
addresses the issues involved in the decision of adoption.
Placing a child for adoption is almost always a traumatic decision even when there are compelling reasons to do so. For some, the decision is
made with a reasonable amount of planning and thought; for others, it's a decision made in crisis. As we learned from talking with birthmothers,
it's always life-altering and it's always accompanied by fear - fears that will not be realized or dispelled until the actual placement is made -
and for some, not until long after.
This is a good site that explains what an adoptive family can do if the birth mother closes the adoption;
A potential adoptive family pays for medical and living expenses.
Financial assistance for birth mothers
Also, I had my first live baby on Medicaid and it COMPLETELY paid for everything.
I got clothes at consignment shops or baby showers.
I nursed so my expenses were nill.
This site as a Christian adoption agency ALSO spells out how difficult the decision of adoption can be.
However, adoption is rarely, if at all, a simple decision or process. There are many issues to be dealt with, many choices to be made and many
concepts to be understood. Depending on the circumstances involved, the process can get quiet complicated. We know that each person’s experience
will be different. All of this underscores the value of receiving helpful support along the way from a reputable agency.
edit to add: I was wrong about the age of my aborted child. I could've met him/her last year! I had the procedure in 1989.
[edit on 11-12-2008 by Clearskies]