posted on Dec, 1 2008 @ 09:18 PM
There I am, with this responsibility weighing that of the world. No
guidance anymore, my father is 700 miles away, and the doctors approach
me and my grandma and grandpa (whom are seperated now), and they tell us
the following... That they could transfer her on flight to OSHU Oregon
State Hospital University and give her the best medical care in Oregon,
on the flipside however, they had also told us that she could pass on the
way to the hospital and that the funerual would have to been held there
if such event we're to take place. 48 hours later the doctors approach my
grandma and grandpa while I was asleep in the hospital due to being awake
for some 30 hours plus, I was also in a room seperate from the ICU
waiting room. While they we're getting the worst of worst news, I had
barely awoke for a second and felt as though someone was watching me, so
I look over and see a golden outline of a entity, I think nothing of it
as though I am just delerious.
30 Minutes later, my Grandpa's wife Bonnie approaches me and tells me the
news, that they decided to pull the plug.
No words came from my mouth when this news had came.
I proceed to exit the room I was in, and I see my Grandma about to give
up on life, trembling on the floor, shaking, crying, why.
I sit down next to her and begin to try and explain, as the tears creep
from my eyes, just barely, now is when she (my mother) needs us to be the
strongest, I explain to her that we will take custoty of Lucas (My Baby
Brother, as his biological father is a alcoholic woman beating loser I
will shoot on sight), and at about this same time, my Grandfather
proceeds to say "Look at that rainbow", no later than 3-5 minute after my
This rainbow was no ordinary rainbow. This rainbow was in thee PARKING
LOT of the hospit. You could see ever color of it CRYSTAL clear, and it
was just absolutely magnificent. The size of it was unreal. There was no
rain, either. Therefore it was technically impossible for that rainbow to
My mother and my grandma had often spoken to one another of when and if
they we're to pass, they would give as many signs as they could to one
another from the "other side".
"If anything is to ever happen to me, I need you to take care of
Lucas"-Tamera my mother.
"Nothing is going to happen to you"-Cameron, aka, Me.
(12 days before she passed.)
"Rainbow!"-Lucas, my brother.
There was no rainbow. Lucas was getting changed, and he looked over my
Grandma's shoulder and said there was a rainbow. They say young minds can
see what we can't, and I think I believe it now.
(~1 Week after she passed)
Drunken, falling, angry, battles between me and my friends, yelling. Alot
of alcohol consumption.
Crying by my self, curled up in a ball on the floor, obliterated, too
much to drink. Listenting to my mom's myspace song she had put on there
for me and Lucas, Sara McLaughlin - The Answer.
God please, Mother please, I need a sign, I need to see you again, I need
to see you again, Please God, Please Mom, Pull some strings, Please!
After 2 weeks of being drunk everyday, almost all day. I had the health
issue, I almost fainted/passed out at work, nothing was out of the
ordinary, I felt normal when it happened. Go to the ER, get a EKG,
everything is normal except for the blood pressure.'
I continue to drink obsessively, until it had exploded. My friends we're
staying with me. I told them they needed to leave, out of drunken
madness. Until yesterday. Last Saturday I kicked my friends out. Sunday
came. Alone, really... Really alone. No one to talk to, and there still