Thief and a Liar

Thief and a Liar

video.yahoo.com

Frustrated mom makes son wear humiliating sign in public

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Related AboveTopSecret.com Discussion Threads:
Boy 'killed father after 1,000 smacks'

This is a funny one. We have seen recent threads about children who misbehave and ways to punish them. This one is pretty good, not only does it teach the child what he did wrong but lets him no the consequences of stealing. He now knows that the community views those with a past life in crime with different eyes. The child stood outside for two hours wearing that sign all because he refused to apologize to his mother.

At least this helps bolster the image of some parents who would rather discipline them, then slapping their child 1000 times.

-Ign0RanT

video.yahoo.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

Very interesting form of punishment. I have heard of some judges forcing people to wear signs or place signs in their yards. I would have to say that it seems to be a good alternative to spankings or a slapping. Also a good form of public humiliation.

Brilliant!

I love it! It's an effective means of discipline, and child services isn't about to take your kid away for trying to teach them a life lesson.

Of course, it relies on the kid actually continuing to wear the sign...

Either way, I like it.
I remember leaving a wrench on the sliding table of the milling machine. My father grabbed the wrench, handed it to me, and told me to hold it out straight, not to put my arm down.
He said "How long do you think you can hold that wrench up, perfectly straight?"
I said "Not very long"
He said "Neither can the table you left it on. Tools are hazards around machines, put them away, or you might not be able to hold the next wrench."

I got the message pretty clear.

It's a good form of discipline. Show the kid the consequences of his actions, or at least make him fear the consequences.

I wish we could do the same to New York's Mayor Bloomberg. Hell, "Thief and Liar" signs should be the new uniform for all politicians.

Actually i think that is is not punishment but humiliation. I do not know what the kid did, but this he will remember and resent. No friends for x days/weeks/centuries; throw away toys; no presents; other creative forms of punishment can work as well. Those will not be remembered. Kid is a person, even nasty ill behaving kid. Public humiliation leaves very deep emotional wound that will take forever to heal.
I do not like current "kid rights" to extreme trend. It is kind of population reduction stunt in my opinion. But this does not feel right, though i do not know what he did, again.

Originally posted by ZeroKnowledge
Actually i think that is is not punishment but humiliation. I do not know what the kid did, but this he will remember and resent. No friends for x days/weeks/centuries; throw away toys; no presents; other creative forms of punishment can work as well. Those will not be remembered. Kid is a person, even nasty ill behaving kid. Public humiliation leaves very deep emotional wound that will take forever to heal.
I do not like current "kid rights" to extreme trend. It is kind of population reduction stunt in my opinion. But this does not feel right, though i do not know what he did, again.

He was caught smoking and with money and cellphone that he stole from his aunt.

After all that and still refusing to apologize the kid is lucky he wasn't out there for any longer.

-Ign0RanT

What ever happened to good old-fashioned domestic abuse? Gone the way of the lawn darts and asbestos I suppose.

I once made my oldest son write a letter to his teacher and his classmates for disrupting class. The next morning I drove him to school and walked him to class. He handed his letters to the teacher, but I stopped him before he sat down and made him read his letter of apology to the class while I stood next to him.

A slice of humble pie goes a long way. My son learned a lesson and has never forgotten it.

This mother was doing the same thing. Kudos to her. More parents need to be active in the lives of the children and pay attention to what they are doing and why. Child protective services needs back off and only worry about children who are truly abused and neglected and let parents discipline their children like our parents did to us.

I think that this mother is smart.....as a recovering drug addict I wish my mother would have done something like this for me when I was stealing at age 12. I say way to go to this mother and I BET that little boy learned his lesson and won't steal again.....Props mamma dukes

Interesting thread and situation! I'm a clinical psychologist specializing in conduct problems in children, and I'm also a father. I can empathize with this mom and appreciate that she loves her kid, has tried other strategies, doesn't want his behavior to get worse, and is being creative. I'm concerned though she might not get the outcome she's trying hard to reach.

Rules and reinforcement (punishment - like loss of privileges, and rewards) can work well for many kids IF the rules and consequences are applied in a calm, consistent, reasonable manner, IF it's in the context of a loving/supportive relationship with adult caregivers who themselves model responsible, healthy behavior, and IF the child already has the mental and emotional skills they need to rise to caregiver expectations. Therapy that trains parents how to do consequences the right way (called Parent Management Training) can be very effective toward this end. It helps many families achieve better compliance with defiant/strong-willed kids and can divert troubled kids from an antisocial/criminal life path. It's not 100% effective though; kids need more than consistent consequences to learn to manage themselves appropriately. They also need good role modeling from listening, supportive adults.

Shaming and humiliating kids can be a tempting form of punishment. But it can also cause problems, just like corporal (physical) punishment. Even consistent consequences -- if used without warmth, support and guidance -- don't teach kids the skills they need to cope with life's challenges, like how to comply with rules/authority, manage emotions, and resist peer pressure. Rather, shaming can damage kids' trust in adults to share their concerns, which kids need to do in order to learn more effective ways to solve their problems. Instead, being shamed can lead us to hide our problems to avoid negative judgment or other punishment. (Why else would this kid lie when caught?) It's important for people, kids included, to learn to feel reasonable *guilt* about our misbehavior - this can provide motivation to make ammends and correct it. But feeling *shame* about oneself (as a bad, worthless person or any other label... "bad kid", "liar", "theif", "thug", "criminal", "offender", "loser", "idiot"...etc) is extremely painful to carry (even when it's not written on a big sign). Shame and humiliation can lead to clinical depression and low self-esteem. To resolve the pain and negative self-view, we usually either try to deny the behavior (and thus the label), blame or attack others, or give in and accept the label as true and build our lives around it.

Study after study shows that praise works better than punishment. Kids are served best when adults provide a supportive environment where their concerns are solicited and taken seriously, and where they are guided in learning to solve problems in a manner that takes their own and others' needs into consideration. I think a good place to start, especially with older children/teens, is to put the demands and consequences on hold and ask the kid: What's going on/making it hard to comply? Can they think up a better solution that will address their concerns and their caregivers?

I don't mean to sound critical of this mom; seems she's trying best she knows how. I also wonder about is Dad's role here. More often than not, the troubled kids I work with (in correctional settings) have no positive male role models. Their dads have either abandoned, abused, neglected or been very inconsistent with these kids. The boys often find substitute male role models, like gang leaders, who take them under their wing and mold them. I think this problem has become an epidemic in the U.S. Where is responsible fatherhood as a societal value, especially in our poor, urban neighborhoods, where boys learn to equate aggression with manhood? What kinds of fathers do we expect these boys to become? What role do the rest of us play?

Thanks all! - B