• CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
  
• CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
  
• BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  
• BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
  
• VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
  
• P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  
• BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
  
• STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
  
• STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  
• STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  
• FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
  
• MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
  
• CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  
• YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  
• WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  
• INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
  
• PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use
  

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got this in an email this morning and thought I'd share the laugh

Originally posted by warrenb

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

I loled at this, I still am and now my sides hurt.

Yes that was a one liner.