posted on Dec, 14 2008 @ 12:56 PM
Early, early Christmas morning
Amid a blizzard and a weather warning
Santa's sleigh came touching down
Busy in his yearly rounds
He saw his next house had no chimney
And grumbled, "Ahhh! You've got to be kidding me!"
So he jimmied the lock on the window with flair
And crept in like a ninja, to the den and tree there
He placed his gifts and straightened the bows
And when he was finished, he finally arose
But it's freezing outside, so he arose with a wobble
For vodka is all that won't freeze in a bottle
His belly groaned, then did he, "Oh my!"
He opened the fridge and saw leftover mince pie
He polished it off with some turkey and a banana
And promised, "When this is done, I'm going down to Havana."
On his way back to the window, his luck would turn bleak
As he stepped on a toy duck, which let out a loud "Squeek!"
His stumbled his way into a shelf in the nook
Where he steadied himself, but knocked down a book
Which in turn took a lamp from the ledge it was on
And then he noticed his hat, "Oh my! It's gone!"
With no time to look as footsteps draw near
He dove through the window, out onto his rear
He took off in his sleigh, straight to sixty from zero
And no-one the wiser! He'd made off like a hero
While back in the house as the lightbulb flicked on
The family was shocked, "The turkey is gone!"
And then they saw hanging from the mistletoe thread
By its pom-pom, the hat that was on Santa's head
-Happy Hollidays Everyone!!!