Whats Christmas actually about these days?

For years I loved Christmas. I loved it as a kid, it would take forever to come round then finally Christmas Eve would be just around the corner. Id go to nativity plays, visit relatives, play in the snow, open presents and eat lots of chocolate.

Id love all the lights and decorations that went up, and even when I left home I still loved it. This time Id look forward to the parties, food and drink and meeting up with friends.

Now over the years Ive grown, become wiser and started to ask what exactly is Christmas about in the West. I now find it harder and harder to conform to what is expected of me. I feel I am being forced to join some run away train called Christmas. Its forcing me to buy things people probably dont want, making me feel guilty if I dont spend a lot on them, or dont spend as much on them as they spend on me.

I am given stress and anxiety from society from mid September!! I do not wish to see a Christmas tree, hear christmas music or buy anything remotely festive in September.

I like many others on ATS have started to go through an awakening. This awakening of my spirit from its rather dormant state has made me question religion and how it effects us today more than ever. I respect Chritmas day and its religious message, but its original meaning today is almost lost. Christmas is now all about spend, spend and spend. You go up to any shopper in a big store and ask them why they are there...not many will say for Jesus. These shops are full of festive merchandise early just to make money and nothing more.

I find I have to choose my works Christmas meal AND pay for it in September or we will loose out on that resturant. Plenty more ready and waiting to snap it up Im told.

So is it just me whos finding this Christmas harder to take than previous ones?

I will of course for the sake of family go along with it with a smile....but for me I really dont know what its about anymore. Except to take advantage of our good will and make money.

reply to post by Mr Green

Whats Christmas actually about these days?

The same thing it has been about for a very long time. Like you said, you are just now becoming aware of it. The problem for me is that I am aware of it but I also remember how great it was to look forward to when I was a kid. I don't want to rob my children of that experience but it is difficult to find the middle ground, letting them get excited for it and not giving in to the sham that it is.

The original message was lost long ago. The only thing many are concerned with when it comes to Christmas now is presents, over-eating, and the annual gathering of people you spend the rest of the year trying to avoid otherwise known as extended family. Christmas doesn't bother me in and of itself, who doesn't like free food and presents? But the importance of presents that is being pushed now and the fact that the original meaning no longer exists outside of a church does irritate me, and that's coming from someone who isn't religious in any way and doesn't go to church.

I figure one of these years the stores are just going to start playing Christmas music all year round to get a jump start on the next one. Christmas music is fine, when it's actually around Christmas time. I just want to jab a pencil in my ear though when I walk into a store the day after Halloween and it's nonstop Christmas music though. Maybe we need some good Thanksgiving songs for them to play for a month before they get into the Christmas stuff.

Originally posted by Karlhungis
I don't want to rob my children of that experience but it is difficult to find the middle ground, letting them get excited for it and not giving in to the sham that it is.

Yes your so right, I remember how very exciting I found it, even though I didnt understand it fully it was still a fantastic time as a child. To take this away from our children is part of the problem we now face...we cant do that but part of the reason we cant do it is due to society and its run away Christmas band wagon.

Marketing, Consumption and Corporate Profit.

Someone said long ago that it was a celebration of the birth of the son of God, AKA the son of man, the Messiah, The shepard, The king of Kings, the King of the Jews, The promise of Abraham, The Prophet, The Lamb of God, and I'm sure many more.

I wonder if there is time to celebrate such a man as fast paced we must be to work to get money to buy trees, ornaments, lights, a feast and presents for our friends, relatives and loved ones.

Ahh the hustle and bustle of 21st century civilization.

Just a thought... as a child, one marvels at the thought of Christmas, the lights, the tree, the gathering of relatives, the presents. It is a day where children have the world at their feet.

But as adults, we are the ones responsible for putting together those marvels for the children - be it brothers, sister, nephews, sons, daughters, grandchildren.

And even though it may not seem like families were stressed, I have enough Christmas stories (funny for a child at the time) that are now deeply disurbing, depressing, stressful or heartbreaking.

My parents and relatives did the best they could to hide the truth of the serious issues behind the scenes. The fact that they didn't have money to get me everything they wanted, but did the best they could. They tried to provide a memorable Christmas.

I felt much the way you do until I had my own child. And then I started seeing it in a new way - seeing it in a way where it is my job to make the Christmases meaningful for him. And right now, I am doing everything I can to give him the best, most memorable, fun-filled holidays I can. But for me, it is just a time of stress and worries. But it isn't about me.

Just a thought...

[edit on 17-11-2008 by mcmartinson]

From the material aspect in our family, I have to say that with the economy so harsh and yearly gifts and presents given 'just because' have become very rare if ever, so at Christmas we make a list of the things we could really use and of the things we want. From that list I do my best to try and get something from the list to give the Children.

Around our home, we do try and make the cold winter days brighter with lights and decorations to celebrate the holiday, we play more family games, eat loads of comfort foods and retreat into a schedule which defines our time as a family together and the treasure and pleasures we enjoy as a family.

Perhaps not having lots of money makes the holidays stand out for us, that we spend time together rather than at the lake or pool, the baseball games or overnighters with friends.

You could go down to your local soup kitchen or charity house, even the local retirement homes and volunteer. There are places just bustling right now which really hold the meaning of Christmas in their mission.

I suppose you can find whatever you are tuned into at the Holidays. Try to change your perspective, and I am certain you will find the true meaning of Christmas alive and well.

Originally posted by imd12c4funn
Marketing, Consumption and Corporate Profit.


Ahh the hustle and bustle of 21st century civilization.

But what if more of us saw this for what it really has become...can we not make a stand against this mass marketing season? I now wish to leave this 21st century farce behind but pressure will not allow me to do it.

i'm sick of the whole "christmas has lost it's meaning" attitude, for crying out loud, churches still run right through the christmas period, chocolate is still available, gifts can still be simple and personal, families still infuriate and infatuate in equal measure and santa carries on as he always has.

the things that have changed are in you, it's you that has changed, not christmas. if you want to enjoy christmas, let go of the cynicism, cut back the ATS and switch off the news, actually, switch off the TV and go play in the snow or go ice skating or carrolling or something. take a few days off from the world and go outside, you'll be surprised, i promise.

The most memorable Christmases for me have always been the ones where we didn't have much. One year, we didn't even have electricity. It was pretty bleak. We had pork and beans with Spam for our Christmas dinner - We spent the evening by candle light telling stories and playing poker for matchsticks. I loved my mom and dad so much that night - My sister and I both fell asleep nestled between our parents and feeling like the two luckiest kids ever.

I can barely remember Christmases where we got lots of stuff .

I don't have kids - It's just me and my partner - but we make an effort to write very personal letters to our family members - we decorate them, draw pictures and generally tell them how very much we love them. For the kids in the family we get them small presents, I make an effort to never get them stuff they asked for. I think surprises are wonderful.

Christmas should be about taking a day out to let the people you know how very much you love them - I think that's worth a thousand presents.

I love what Christmas has become for most people . . . an opportunity to spend money they don't have on people they generally don't really like to give them things they don't really want, all because somebody started pounding the 'feed the economy' nugget into their heads while you were still picking the Hallowe'en candy out of your teeth.

I was watching a hockey game with my nephew last night. He 'told' me what he was getting for Christmas . . . two remote controlled trucks, a game called 'connect four', some 'transformers', a Nintendo WII game thing, a Hotwheels set . . .

The kid is only six.

I came away from that little conversation thinking how the hell can his folks afford that, what with one of them just having been laid off and the other working for about $15 an hour?

The credit card companies must be absolutely drooling over this, especially when they're raising rates indiscriminantly . . .



.

[edit on 17-11-2008 by GoalPoster]

Originally posted by mcmartinson

I felt much the way you do until I had my own child. And then I started seeing it in a new way - seeing it in a way where it is my job to make the Christmases meaningful for him. And right now, I am doing everything I can to give him the best, most memorable, fun-filled holidays I can. But for me, it is just a time of stress and worries. But it isn't about me.

Just a thought...

[edit on 17-11-2008 by mcmartinson]

Yes I know what you mean here. For years I tryed my hardest to create the most memorable Christmases but in the end I was so stressed and tired when the day came around I did wonder why I tryed so hard. Then when the relatives all fall out on boxing day and I was still paying for things in March I began to think this has to change.

Your right its not about us, but we need to reign this madness in some how.

Originally posted by Merigold
The most memorable Christmases for me have always been the ones where we didn't have much. One year, we didn't even have electricity. It was pretty bleak. We had pork and beans with Spam for our Christmas dinner - We spent the evening by candle light telling stories and playing poker for matchsticks. I loved my mom and dad so much that night - My sister and I both fell asleep nestled between our parents and feeling like the two luckiest kids ever.

I can barely remember Christmases where we got lots of stuff .

I don't have kids - It's just me and my partner - but we make an effort to write very personal letters to our family members - we decorate them, draw pictures and generally tell them how very much we love them. For the kids in the family we get them small presents, I make an effort to never get them stuff they asked for

. I think surprises are wonderful.

Christmas should be about taking a day out to let the people you know how very much you love them - I think that's worth a thousand presents.

If I could applaud you for this post..I surely would.
THIS is the very ideals that I try to instill in my children. We have had many a Christmas, that would not have happened were it not for the generosity of friends, and charities.
Over the years my kids have learned my thrifty ways, and that expensive gifts are never an option. EVER.
FAR TOO MUCH emphasis is placed on the idea that the bigger the gift the more love is behind it. SO NOT TRUE.
There is more love in sharing time with your kids than the most expensive gift under the tree.

I remember one year, when I had thousands to spend, after selling my house, and I did. My kids had more that year than ever.And they were so overwhelmed they didn't know what to do.
It was those years when there was a choice few special gifts, that they appreciated it more, and were more thankful and happy.
The bigger the holiday plans, the bigger the stress. I'm all for a quiet celebration with my closest family. In my mind if there are those that can't find time for me all the other months of the year, why would I find time for them at the most special of seasons?

I know it a celebration of the birth of Jesus but it's gone way further than that now days. It's actually more of a stimulis package for America and maybe another reason why some are in debt. I will always enjoy Christmas for our kids and the look on their faces when the wake up Christmas morning. I have six children so Christmas is exhausting for me and my wife, but we wouldn't trade the experience that we give our kids for anything. It's like going back in time and seeing the big smile on my face as a child.

Christmas is more of a business these days and spending money and maxing out credit cards is the popular way to go. Retailers make a good profit and the government gets the best part of the deal. " TAXES"
The joy I get from my kids make it worth while for me but if I were single it would be just another day, just another compromise.

Originally posted by Merigold
The most memorable Christmases for me have always been the ones where we didn't have much. One year, we didn't even have electricity. It was pretty bleak. We had pork and beans with Spam for our Christmas dinner - We spent the evening by candle light telling stories and playing poker for matchsticks. I loved my mom and dad so much that night - My sister and I both fell asleep nestled between our parents and feeling like the two luckiest kids ever.

Thank you for that beautiful story.

My wife and I agreed years ago, before we had children, to celebrate Christmas, but without gifts. So we told all of our friends and relatives, we want no gifts, and we will give no gifts. It was one of the best decisions we ever made, and now Christmas has meaning for us, not endless expense, stress, and regret.

We do give kids' gifts, from "Santa Claus," and those are the most joyful to give, anyway.

reply to post by Merigold


Your post made me cry, Merry Christmas my friend.

Originally posted by antar


I suppose you can find whatever you are tuned into at the Holidays. Try to change your perspective, and I am certain you will find the true meaning of Christmas alive and well.

I guess thats what we have to do. Show others we no longer wish to spend lots of money, become stressed and fall out with relatives we never see. If we change our perspective and they see we really mean it they may actually also enjoy it. Its not easy when you visit relatives who constantly moan on the whole time how they hate Christmas!! It does kind of bring you down after a while. Ah the joys of Christmas hey.
I absolutely refuse to sit in the house all day long on Christmas day, I must get out for my own sanity, even if its just a walk round the houses. However one year all I saw on my walk was people arguing outside their homes about the relatives inside. oh dear never mind.

My friend told me a funny story the other day about when her Gran used to live with her and her mother. The whole family had come over for Christmas but within hours had all fallen out, two camps formed, one in the sitting room and one in the kitchen. The cook happenned to be in the sitting room and refused to even enter the kitchen so the Christmas meal never got cooked! They had egg and bacon for breakfast, dinner and tea. She laughs about it now but at the time said it was far from funny!

Thank you for this thread Mr.Green. I Needed to hear these responses.

Being the oldest member of my family I have taken it on myself to teach them about the good old days by encouraging them to participate in an old fashioned Christmas.

I was becoming discouraged because I realized if it was going to happen I would have to make it so. I was just about ready to throw in the towel and say, forget it.

Now that you have put the issue in front of me and our members have posted such wonderful posts my spirit has been renewed and I'm ready to start the festivities.

May you and all our members have a memorable and happy Christmas.

Originally posted by dizziedame


I was becoming discouraged because I realized if it was going to happen I would have to make it so. I was just about ready to throw in the towel and say, forget it.

Now that you have put the issue in front of me and our members have posted such wonderful posts my spirit has been renewed and I'm ready to start the festivities.

May you and all our members have a memorable and happy Christmas.

Yes I too feel happier about entering the month of December. I must stay true to what I believe is a good Christmas, that being not spending hundreds of pounds and not getting stressed! I will try really hard this year to try and accept my relatives for who they are, embrace them no matter what happens! Maybe by actually realizing this year that I dont have to climb aboard the Xmas run away train I may just enjoy it a little more.

People go through this every year. I think we all have that first time- that first year when we look at the holiday and see the commercialism and go "yuck". We all have that time that it hits us. Truth is, it doesn't have to be that way at all. You can have Christmas any way you want it.

Personally, it makes no sense to me to celebrate it as the birth of Christ. In reality it is the winter solstice time called Yule from the Pagan days. The tree and ornaments, holly, and "Yule Log" come from that celebration. Santa Clause and St Nick are a legend of a kind man who used to make toys for poor children. Christians celebrate it as a holy day - thats OK, just not my thing.

My family treats it as a time put aside to get together and appreciate each other, eat good food, watch movies and exchange gifts. The kids and pets get most of the stuff, and we adults get each other a nice something that we know that person wouldn't buy for themselves out of necessity. Its like a second Thanksgiving with presents for us.

We had some rough times when I was a kid, and one year we had a paper Christmas tree and no gifts. My sister used to tell her sons that story when they got on her nerves with the "I want! I want!" attitude around the holidays. Kids tend to do that.

Last year I was battling a chronic illness and had no money to buy anyone presents except for my daughter. I was glad I was able to at least get her what she wanted. I was lucky that my family understood and helped me out with food and stuff.

Its OK to be happy and enjoy the holidays even though people get crazy and greedy sometimes. With the economy like it is, I think many people will have to scale back this year, and that is OK. I hope no one gets depressed about that because it can be an opportunity to get away from the commercialism and stress and get back to a simpler time. Maybe everyone can agree to either make a present or recycle something- maybe it can be the first year that "regifting" can be socially acceptable!

I plan to be happy and enjoy myself this year. I don't care about the money or lack thereof. You only have so long to enjoy life and those you love