True funny stories

These are two of my personal favorites

A man who lives a few miles up the road from me called the police complaining about his neighbor's goat, when they got there the goat was eating up his garden in his backyard, the guy told the police he wanted to press charges against the neighbors for the goat had ate all his marijuana he had growing in his garden. Needless to say he was arrested.

In this area there are a lot of family owned cemetaries and when one loses a member of the family it is customary for several members of the family to dig the grave, and so it was no big deal when my husband's cousin went and helped dig the grave for a family member he affectionately called the Old B*tch, there were few people there to help and he was upset that he had to do most of the digging himself plus he considered it disrespectful that more people did not show up to help. He was just finishing up when the wake started, wanting to attend he decided to go as he was, covered in mud since he did not have time to drive home and shower. He went strolling into the large funeral home paying no mind to the stares of the mourners around him. He walked up to the coffin just as my Brother in Law spotted him from the hallway. He turned to the crowd and said very loudly, "Well I want you all to know that I got the Old B*tch's grave dug, no thanks to any of you lazy people!" he said toi the shocked crowd. As my Brother in Law came running in to get him, he announced to my BIL just as loudly, "Why this don't even look like the Old B*tch!" My BIL responded, "Thats because it isn't, you are in the wrong viewing room."

If you have one of your own please post! Am I the only one that thinks these stories are hilarious, must be so.