posted on Oct, 26 2008 @ 09:40 PM
I crossed the stream, I had a dream.
Thank You for the Music
There is no greater reward in this life than to dream a dream, for it releases us from this physical bondage, and allows us to fly.
I had such a dream back when my sanity was still intact, and the matrix was strong. But now I am free to dance and sing as insanity is now in full
control of my senses.
My dream started as most, I suppose, I was asleep. In this dream, which seemed to be quite real, there was a figure of a person, shining with a
brightness that could not be held by the mortal eye. It did not have a well-formed shape but rather fuzzy at the edges, but still discernible in the
form of a human. No face, no hands, nothing could be made out clearly. The brilliance was of purity and of integrity that could not be duplicated.
It reached out to me and put its arm around my shoulders. I instantaneously felt all the love and compassion that had ever existed from all times and
all beings that were ever created. It was if I was jolted with a million volts of electricity, without the pain and suffering. It was a family
reunion of the highest order.
Before this figure, and my self stood a doorway. It’s frame was rectangular as any door, and the door was opened and hung back and away in the full
open position. From within the door shined out a light that was as intense and bright as the figure I stood next to. Nothing could be seen inside of
this room. With his arm around me he walked me through that doorway.
As with all good things, they must come to an end, I awoke, and a fleeting memory of the dream escaped as they always do, with one exception. As the
dream ended and I was transitioning to the awake state, I was left with the sense that there was a really good reason why I would not remember the
dream. With that, I awoke, still trembling from the intensity of the experience. The feeling stayed with me almost a half an hour afterwards.
Believe me, its quite shocking to have the entire universe explained to you, and you couldn’t remember a single thing.
Years had passed and memories of the dream drifted to the back of my mind and life moved on. One day I received a call at work from the wife
informing me that my two year old daughter was rushed to the hospital and it was real serious. I didn’t know how serious until I arrived at the
hospital and was informed that the doctors and nurses were doing everything possible to save her life. I was in shock and didn’t know what to
think. I was told that she had expired during the ambulance ride, but brought back to life. I had never been so frightened in my entire life.
We were there around the clock watching the doctors and nurses running in and out of her emergency room with carts and boxes and all sorts of
equipment for the entire first day. As that first day and night progressed the intensity of activity of all involved intensified, they were so busy
they didn’t even have time to tell us anything. It wasn’t till the third day we heard anything and it was bad. We were told she was suffering
with spinal meningitis and that they didn’t know how much longer she had.
I was beside myself at that point; I had to go outside because I didn’t want to loose it in front of everyone. I went outside and sat down thinking
how the best doctors in town cold not save her, and when that sunk in, I started to cry. I had not been religious in years and the only thing I could
think of was God. Why should he listen to me crying for help? I learned alot that day.
As I sat there thinking, it occurred to me that I never really knew anything about him. Oh, sure, I went to my Catholic church when I was young and
learned all about the catholic version of the bible, but strangely, not much about God. I remember once asking a Nun about God and she told me to ask
the Priest, so I did. A little seven year old took a Priest on. I stood there trembling, looking up to this tall man wearing black and shot the
question out, “Where is God”. I felt like I was addressing the Wizard of Oz. His reply was direct and to the point, “You don’t look for God,
you will go crazy”. For the life of my daughter, it was time to go crazy.
As I sat there, it was time to shoot that question once again, only this time, it was to him. “God, if you can hear me, please help my daughter
live”. I explained to him that I didn’t know if he existed or not, but if you were there please help. Tears started to run even more. “GOD,
TAKE MY LIFE IN EXCHANGE FOR HER’S”. I was quite sincere in that offer, and was prepared to fall dead on the spot! No questions asked! Then a
voice came to me. It wasn’t from outside, but from within. It had asked me a simple question. At that point I didn’t know what to think, and I
didn’t care. I wanted my daughter to live. I thought and thought about the question, and I just couldn’t answer it. I began to sob even harder,
because even on my daughter’s life, I could not answer the question honestly. I answered him by saying I could not answer it. It was the hardest
thing I could ever do. At this point I was a total emotional wreck, uncontrollable weeping. Then the voice returned and said “Correct”. What do
you mean correct, I didn’t answer your question. The voice came and said “The question wasn’t important; it was your answer that was”. It
went on to explain that it was far more important for me to be honest with myself than find an answer. I didn’t understand at that point what it
really meant, but I did later on. The voice then said she would be fine.
I gathered my composure up after a bit of time and went back into the hospital. I told my wife our daughter would be fine, and I went down to the
store in the hospital and bought a little “stuffy” for the daughter and flowers for the wife. As I returned to the waiting room a nurse was there
seeing if we wanted to see the daughter. It was the first time since we had been there. The nurse walked us around the corner into her room. There
she lay in this big bed with all those tubes coming out of her. They had her head wrapped up and she look like hell. We couldn’t hold her or move
her, just hold her little hand. The nurse only gave us five minutes and we had to leave. After that, little by little, the traffic started to slow
down going in and out of her room. Later that night one of the nurses came up to us and shook her head staring that she didn’t know how she made
it. During the next 3 days, all of the staff, did the same in their own words. On the fourth day we were called into the head doctor’s office to
talk about her condition. I knew immediately that this meeting was not going to be normal. The doctor was sitting behind his desk looking very
uncomfortable and nervous. He stated he was at a loss and didn’t understand how she made it. He went on to say that she could come out of this
with brain damage, loss of hearing, or some type of disability, and they were doing everything they could and that time would tell. He closed the
meeting stating again, he just didn’t know how she made it and that it must have been Divine Intervention. It was at that moment I knew, I found
God. Our daughter grew up with no disabilities, into a lovely young woman.
Again, years passed and normal life returned until I received a phone call stating my mother had passed away. I was living out west and my family
lived in the east. I had to plan a trip home and that took time. We were all expecting this as she had been fighting poor health for some time
before. Three days after she passed I had another dream. In this dream my mother came to me and said these words “ I made a terrible mistake”,
and with that the dream was over. It wasn’t one of your run of the mill dreams, it was what is known as a surreal dream, it was like I was there
with her, in color. She appeared to be behind a judicial bench of some type. She wasn’t judging, she was being judged. It was in full living
color, and she looked young again and not a hair out of place. I never knew my mother was so beautiful in her youth. I awoke and was in shock. I
made my plans for the trip and left for the east to meet my family. I asked the other family members if they too had a dream of mom, but no one else
did. Of course, they thought I was nuts, and sadly they feel this way today.
For years after that I always wondered what she meant. It baffled me to the point of giving up. I let it go of it and moved on with life, till that
one day, the day my life changed forever. I was driving truck at night, and if you know anything about trucking at night, you know them drivers get
I was driving along a narrow winding road listening to the radio and my mind started to wander back to that dream about mom and what she had said.
All my childhood was now being recalled as the miles ticked off. All the times I could remember that involved mom, so many to look at, so many
lessons, both positive and negative, then as if you hit pause on a recorder, my recollections stopped at one memory.
As a child I had always been inquisitive as to life and why I was here, but isn’t everyone? I would always ask questions and of course I became a
nuisance. Go away kid, ya bother me was the norm, but you know, it just really didn’t matter to me. I got into an awful lot of trouble. My
troubles as a child exploded after President Kennedy was assassinated, and my attitude became quite negative, my mom could see it. One day I started
to go off on something and I guess Mom had, had enough! She cornered me and looking down at me, she confronted me. There I was again, shaking in my
boots looking up at very powerful adult, who held my very life in her hands, or it seemed. She pointed her finger in my face and wagged it back and
forth very sternly with a voice that was equally powerful, and she said sarcastically “THE WORLD IS ALL WRONG, AND YOUR ALL RIGHT, YOU BETTE