How Does Someone Find Their Place?

I've heard it since I was young, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Our teachers, our parents, the local new stations.. they all asked us as children. And we do the same to our children. And I'm sure that will happen for a very long time.

But as we grow older, we lose our dreams. Less and less 15 year olds say, "I want to be an astronaut" and more and more say, "I don't know. I don't care"

And when we finish school, we seem even more lost most of the time. Unsure of our future, so we go to college just hoping to figure it out along the way. And many beer bongs later, we have accomplished nothing. We still wander. Some of us leave college and go to the nearest Burger King, or diner.. to make ends meet, while we search further.

Certainly by this point, the dreams of flying in space are gone. We don't even watch the news when other people go into space. Now we just live aimlessly. Hoping at some point that a bright star will begin to shine and say, "Here is the place you belong!" Oh, it would be amazing if life did work this way. But all too often, people grow old, and die.. and never do find the place they were meant to reach.

So I'm curious... if you feel you have reached your destiny. If you feel that you found your place in life, or that you're on the path that will bring you there.. will you share your wisdom with us? How did you identify what you were meant to be? Meant to do? I could really use some direction myself, and I honestly have no idea which way to go. But I know there are some extremely intelligent people in here, so I want to open your minds up a bit, and absorb your intelligence, if you don't mind.

(And to the Mods, I apologize if this thread seems as aimless as my life.. lol It has great merit, if it is allowed to continue)

[edit on 25-10-2008 by EagleTalonZ]

I don't think we ever really know, you know?
I also think that it is part of this whole game called life. To seek out your own answers. If life is a book, it is no fun when you read the last page of the book to see how it ends You must go through each chapter one by one.

I guess I should also ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up"?



[edit on 25-10-2008 by fishneedh2o]

In my case,

I've had no set plan really as far as what I wanted to be. Back when I was in the 6th grade sure (Astronaut or an inventor comblete with lab) but sometimes things don't work out. I ran into a brick wall called math. So far (I'm 48) I've had a variety of jobs. So I've pretty much wandered through life so far. One thing though that I've always done though is something that I feel important with anyone's life.

Help people out whenever possible.

I like to think that I've made an impact on peoples lives so far and that I feel is a good thing. I like to think that I'll be remembered for the better.

So no "Destiny" for me unless you count having friends who will remember you always.

Edited to add:
I guess you'll know when you've arrived at your "destiny" when you are happy in what you do and feel that it's a good thing to continue.




[edit on 25-10-2008 by Deson]

reply to post by Deson


if you're looking for destiny don't look in the world that's concerned with money. if there is such a thing as destiny it changes with the wind. i've always been concerned with finding meaning in life, it always winds up being centered around other people and their thoughts. if you're looking for answers there's millions of them out there. if you're looking for meaning and truth then no one can help you.

Life is meant to be a journey, not a destination.
There will always be many different roads to chose from, and those you pick when you are younger, may not be what you pick as you get older.
My best wisdom is...
Stop looking for the Emerald City, and enjoy the Yellow Brick Road.

intersting!
actually i am discussing this topic for a couple of days now with a good friend.

not actually about "what profession somebody wanted when being a kid" but about "what is life for?"
where is my path in life? where is my place?
what is my journey?

my friend truely belives that everybody has a task in life, but a task choosen by oneself.
we both belive in reincarnation and she told me that every soule signs a contract when being reborn.
my question: a contract with whom?
with yourself and the members of your soule family.
intersting!

due to that, i know deep inside me where my path is bound to.
therefore it is of no importance what profession i want to choose when being 6yo.
i don.t mean that having a profession is not important! sure it is. but you realyl have to find out, what it is about.
it might be of no importance that you earn a tremendous amount of money, because you are so happy in having a specific job which hardly earns a living.

everybody has to follow her own path.
and you will find out what you are bound to.
enjoy your life moment by moment and breath by breath.

when i was 3 yo i didn.t know what i wanted to be, but i knew what i didn.t wanted to be; a nun. granted.

when being in my teens i wanted to study chemistry at college, i am so happy that i didn.t do that. why? i detected my creativity. and now i am rather happy to live my creativity - as graphic designer, media designer, hobby writer, hobby musician and hobby fashion designer – imagine doing this in a chemical lab.

and while living this creativity i am also able to socialize the way i like it.
i feel that this is along my path in life. i haven.t yet detected it the full way. but i guess it is very close to it!

so just trust in yourself, listen to your inner voice, don.t care what mainstream says and enjoy the yellow bricks!

I deeply empathize with your post.

I felt like I didnt know my place in the world either.

As it turns out, I do know my place, and I always have. I just didnt like the answer.

I am a philosopher. And I write. I am not famous, and I will likely not ever get rich. If I dont keep a second job, I may even starve. Lol.

Being intelligent, I have resisted my whole life this vocation. I got a trade, (plumbing) to pay for an education, (which started out as finance and accounting) but the bottom line is, I am a philosopher. So, I finally gave up and pursued that degree, letting the "smart" one fall by the wayside oh so close to being completed.

You know your place in life by following your heart. What you feel great when you are doing. The only thing I LOVE to do is write and specifically to write about the things that have always interested the other people I would call philosophers.

The problem is that philosophers have a nasty habit of being derided, ignored, and generally not making a lot of money in their lifetimes. So be it. I really, really wish my place in life had been something more conventional, but it isnt.

The first thing I would do if I were you is ask myself "what do I love to do that I know is ridiculous as a vocation?" My guess is that that is where you are going to find your best clue to what you are built to do.

Good luck. I still struggle to figure out a way to integrate my vocation more fully into my life, but I do know what it is. Just because the world doesnt value it highly doesnt mean it isnt needed.

reply to post by EagleTalonZ


Good topic.
I felt like that as soon as I left school
I wasn't quite sure what to do next
I got confused the path I wanted to take as I felt like they were endless options of things to do, must be thousands of courses out there to study, endless jobs to apply for, a whole world to explore
Unfortunately, I think our society defines success solely by academic achievement, I think success is to figure out how to be content with yourself and to keeping an open mind to the realm of possibility
I currently work fulltime and live with my band in a new city
It's almost not important if it amounts to any 'expectations' we may have 'cause I'm happy living the life I have right now
I am not too sure if there is the one correct path for everyone
But I believe if people really think outside the box and have the boldness to persue something they actually love doing, then you can do anything you want
I believe the stucture of society tailors too many people to become something they don't truly want to be
All the best dude

reply to post by Illusionsaregrander


Great post. Its cliche but we all have passions. Follow them.

The REAL question here is how applicable is your passion? And if its not applicable by today's standards, well get creative and MAKE it applicable.

Originally posted by SantaClaus

The REAL question here is how applicable is your passion? And if its not applicable by today's standards, well get creative and MAKE it applicable.

Or, if it really just isnt going to be a money maker, just do it because you love it. Lots of great artists, writers, philosophers, even scientists, etc., never did achieve worldly success while alive.

It doesnt mean what you are doing isnt valuable. It just means it is part of a bigger picture that you may never see the whole of. I am incredibly grateful that those philosophers who in their own lifetimes were not famous wrote what they wrote anyway. It still contributed a huge amount to humankind and our culture, even if they personally did not reap the rewards of it.

See, this is EXACTLY what I was hoping for. I'm truly thankful for all of you contributing to this thread. I know that the world does bend and shape our perception of "greatness" with all the ads on tv, and all the money-mentality stuff.

But you're right.. most of the truly great people of this world never did it for money. They became great because they were one stone on the path of changing life. And I guess in a sense I did know that, but it does need to be refreshed once in awhile.

I asked myself earlier today, "What would you define great as, if money were no object?" And I suppose that would be anything that empowers people to move beyond themselves, in order to better mankind.

So, if it means being an artist, a writer, a philosopher, a teacher, scientist, etc. Money doesn't bring greatness. Passion is much larger and brings true happiness.

I have to admit.... that excites me. Now if I can just get past the whole starving thing, I'll be good to go... lol

I asked 20 people to name at least 2 great men or women who have impacted the world. I got lots of interesting names that range from Jesus, the Rosa Parks, to Hitler. And even Henry the 8th. A few of these people used wealth to establish their place in history, but for the most part, it was strength of passion and character.

When I first wrote this thread, I was talking mostly about identifying a career. You all helped me open my eyes to a much larger picture. I want to be great, but money won't bring that about. It may help, certainly, but if I want to be thought of as a great man who did a lot to help the world, it will be because of my passion and my character.

I've learned a lot this week. Thank you all very much for your broad sense of ideals and your passion for knowledge. I love the perspectives of the ATS members. I feel I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the many hours I've spent on this website reading.

wonderful thread! you named a topic that is in everybodys head at some point of life.
it is nice to hear, that you got something out for yourself by reading through all those great posts here.

i think the older we become the more we unlearn to follow our true passions. the rules of our society force us to do certain things that ensure we can continue being a part of that society. you have to have a "proper" job that gives u enough money to pay for your rent and so on.
as a child you are uninfluenced by all that society-rules and you are able to still feel very pure about where your heart leads you to. as a kid you just want to be an astronaut or filmstar because you do not see anything that might be in your way.
all in all the compliance of everyone is to be happy. we should try to distance ourselves once in a while from all the "sensible things" we do and try to listen to our child`s heart that still beats in us. it will tell you exactly what makes you happy.

but in the end we need courage to follow a voice that became so hushed drowned by the noise of self-created reality.

[edit on 28-10-2008 by milabb.]

After MANY years of doing what I love without making any money at it, I can say that all that time piles up in a hurry.

Why NOT make money in the process? Money is quite important and all art can make money, just depends on how intent you are on making a living out of your plight.

Make it happen for yourself. Being a starving artist is for people who take themselves too seriously. Make money at what you do, whats the problem with that?

Originally posted by SantaClaus

Make it happen for yourself. Being a starving artist is for people who take themselves too seriously. Make money at what you do, whats the problem with that?

Nothing is wrong with making money at what you do UNLESS you have to dilute what you love in order to make it profitable.

For example, one of the things I "do" is write about the mystic truths. I could make it very profitable, and salable to the masses, if I were willing to make it fit the magic formula of what the masses already want to believe is the "secret." However that would come at the expense of what I see as the "truth."

Many, many people do make it salable and cash in. Religion is a HUGE industry, be in new age or conventional. Very profitable. However, when you have to turn something beautiful into something popular but less true, it is up to you to ask yourself if it is worth it to you.

Jesus did NOT cash in. The Buddha did NOT cash in. Socrates and Plato did NOT cash in. Nor have most of the other lesser known mystics and philosophers "cashed in." And, it is because they did not that any of the "truth" remains in written form at all to be discovered.

Maybe some do take "themselves" too seriously. I do not think it is myself I am taking to seriously, but the truth that I take seriously. I am going to age, rot, and then die whether I am rich or poor. I am a drop in an ocean. I am not fooled into thinking "I" matter. But, I consider ones "vocation" to be that which nature or the Divine, has built them for, and it fits into a bigger scheme, one in which as an individual my only duty is to perform the task for which I am suited by nature or the Divine. If one alters ones true calling with a mind to making it profitable at the cost of diluting the pure beauty of what one is called to do I think that is the "self important" stance.

It means one thinks ones individual comfort or fame is the goal rather than the calling itself.