A letter to the Red States

This is not my letter. But I have to quote anonymous on this one.... Have a sense of humor. Dont take it so personally. But there are some issues here that should be discussed.

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85
percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue--you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't
care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of
all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.


Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11
and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States

LOl...I can live with that.Nothing would make me happier than the red states to withdraw from their union.I sure am glad we get to keep Oklahoma, Texas and Louisana.We'd have a terrible time refining our oil without them.I guess our half of the Mississippi river would be off limits to them also.Yippee... when does this happen?

Cool, im happy with the fresh water and the statue of liberty too.

Originally posted by bknapple32

Dear Red States,


We get Elliot Spitzer.

Bragging about getting a disgraced Governor run out of office for participating in a prostitution ring?



Anyway....as a citizen of a very Red State, I would take this offer in a second..and within 5 years the Blue states wouldn't have many people left to govern...because of the mass exodus...and within another 5 years we declare war and take back the whole country. Man if only this could happen!

reply to post by RRconservative


typical.... cut and paste the quote to fit what you want to say.

Originally posted by bknapple32
reply to post by RRconservative

 

typical.... cut and paste the quote to fit what you want to say.

I guess you just read my first sentence and stopped there.....would that be "typical" for you?........no comment on anything else?

reply to post by RRconservative


Theres no need to comment on the rest of your thread. AS expected, you ended it with a solution of war. Did you read the part where we were anti war??? sheesh. Do I have to explain everything?

[edit on 25-10-2008 by bknapple32]

Originally posted by bknapple32
reply to post by RRconservative

 

Theres no need to comment on the rest of your thread. AS expected, you ended it with a solution of war. Did you read the part where we were anti war??? sheesh. Do I have to explain everything?

[edit on 25-10-2008 by bknapple32]

Anti-War??? LOL that makes it so much easier! 10 years is enough time to give "right" minded people the chance to bail. That and getting away from the super high taxation that would be a staple of the Blue State regime. Who would be left to fight?

See all the problems you guy's could have avoided if you had just let us start our own country back in the 1860's.This is an excellent idea.I know it will be a struggle,not having to listen to some people saying "that's not the way we do it up north"But we will try and soldier on the best we can.
Oh and you guy's don't need to worry about your telecommunications.
t1 and t3 trunk lines and direct and dish tv.Atlanta will probably let you use them sometimes.
I can hardly wait.