I'm a Cold War baby, born in 1953. I lived in a "normal" suburban neighborhood, and my family was "patriotic" without real obvious displays. My family supported Goldwater in 1964, which made us conservative, but in the Southeast, that wasn't too unusual. People did not have American flags on their cars - we knew where we lived. During elections, I saw very few bumper stickers for anybody - usually they were local candidates and the cars belonged to the candidate's family. Everybody said the pledge of allegiance in school, even Jeff, my friend the "red-diaper" baby. There was a draft, and there was always the chance that a nuclear war would start any minute.
We lived about twelve air-miles from a large SAC base housing nuclear bombers, but we weren't militaristic at all. When we sang about America, it was about Purple Mountains, and Amber Waves of Grain.
Now you aren't "patriotic" unless you "support the mission", which can be any dumbass thing a half-educated President sells to Congress. Today, we as a nation are in far less danger than we were in 1959 or 1963, and yet it seems that "Middle America" has gone stark-raving mad with zelous militaristic xenophobia. I say this as someone who has put in 22 yrs. of professional military and civilian intelligence service. The military hasn't really changed much, but the civilian "supporters" certainly have. A career naval officer told me recently that he thinks the nation has simply gone nuts. I wish I had arguments against that.

If you were born after 1970, how do you define patriotism?

I may be called alot of names for this, and I'm sure none of them will be "patriotic."
My loyalty lies to the people of this country, not the government who is lying to us and slowly taking away our rights.
I think the government is completely out of control and must be stopped before it causes any more harm.

I also think that the brainwashed flag waving lunatics who support this government no matter what it does, and without question, are far from being patriots. They only empower the fascists who are trying to control us and destroy our way of life.

It is our right, and duty to question our government, and remove it from power if it ever gets out of control. (as it has now)
People call me everything from terrorist supporter to nutcase for thinking this way, but to me thinking this way is the very purest form of patriotism that exists.

If I may, we share the same general time period, we are probably close to the same age.

I never saw the zealotry that popular movements are capable of until the "Police Action" in Viet Nam. Now where I live there are no major installations, mostly infrastructure defense manufacturers. We never were presented with someone to whom to demonstrate 'good morale' like communities near bases/camps/or posts. Lot of times these communities are largely comprised of the current and former military personnel. Military service, almost as a unique phenomenon unto itself, develop a much more tangible 'feel' of mutual support. This is naturally extended into the community as well.

The kind of silent solidarity you speak of, is not present in my neck of the woods. But the zealotry came and went with the Hippies and the anti-establishment movement. Now it is politically quieter. Although the younger generation is beginning to see and sense the whole 'otherness' of the system, and are becoming sensitive to their disenfranchisement in reality. Mom and Dad told them the American dream as it had been taught to them, and not all of them are MTV drones.