reply to post by interestedalways
Hello again interstedalways,
Thank you so much for your kind and considered reply. You are quite lucky, here amongst the big city lights, even along the ocean the illumination
from here down below so often makes it hard to see the stars. Out on the ocean, far from the city, oh but they are beyond beautiful as they shine in
the thousands. I have always been a moon child though; there might be a day soon when “sky candy” gets much easier to see.
I read through most of the posting here it certainly was fascinating, it’s not often I get the privilege to see such great and contemplative minds
thinking, and sharing, believers, learners, and skeptics alike.
I thought this might be the best place to start asking some long nagging questions, and after reading what everyone had posted, intuition and your
thoughtful and reasoned ways evidenced in your postings led me to ask you.
I had been taught to meditate in my early teens, urged by a man who thought it would be a great benefit, who seemed to know somehow I would need that
for a particular event. When that event indeed happened a short while later, one of those moments where you have to simply accept there is more to
heaven and earth, that too disquieted me and I gave up the practice and tried to put it out of my mind.
I was not a skeptic mind you, a couple years before that in desperation to save a dear loved one from certain and impending death, I reached out with
my thoughts and will to help her using a concept and process Uri Geller once displayed and guided me with on a TV show to cause a long broken watch to
run again. Upon her “miraculous” recovery she confided that she new there had been some intervention on me behalf for which she was thankful but
as reluctant to talk about as I.
Upon each of these isolated occurrences I never wanted to get the ball rolling, but find someone who could get it back rolling the other way. When
this originally happened I was faced with a perplexing dilemma, it was hard to dismiss the answers and knowledge that seemed to be stored in the core
of my mind. It was an almost pitiful revelation that so many of the questions regarding the great unknown and life, I was constantly looking
externally for sources of answers, had seemingly been things I already knew and had suppressed and buried as if my whole life and the universe and the
future had been scripted, and like some actor on stage, the script itself was nearby to refer to, but it seemed like in this case it was instead
buried deep in my mind like it had been there since the moment I came into being.
I have never been afraid of things on earth, I have always looked at it, as well one either lives or dies, but the things that go beyond that fixed
point of reference, where I stand at the edge of such seemingly vast and undiscovered oceans, like at the seashore just make me want to look over my
shoulder for a lifeguard before I wade in. There is never one there though, and as the waves lap at my feet, those experiences themselves are always
ones that I know that not only I can’t really share with anyone without them having to scratch their head in wonder, compounded by my fears I might
drown in the waters and currents ahead and might never return to even tell the story that likely no one would even believe. That is the source of my
fear, that not getting back, that drowning in the process.
I of course have a few issues with control. Yet I did after making a few discrete inquiries to a couple people I desperately hoped might roll the ball
backwards in some authoritative way, instead professed amazement, and were baffled as evidenced by that, I had reached a point in time and space they
informed me many study long and hard in hopes to go.
to be continued