ND Baptist church offering to buy children!!!

This is a tough economy. We understand that people are suffering because of what Bill Clinton did, and sadly, American families will continue to suffer for many years until President Bush can fix the mess Clinton made of the country. In any case, hard times call for extreme measures and Landover Baptist Church (being the largest and most powerful body of worthwhile Christians to ever exist) is offering a lending hand to families in need. We understand from what we've seen on TV and heard from Christian radio talk shows that millions of families in America have difficulty supporting their children. This might come as a surprise to you, but we'd like to take one or two of them off of your hands, and we'll pay you for it! Our church has been doing this locally and statewide for over two years now, and we want to offer this wonderful opportunity to the rest of America

It gets MUCH worse on the page... VERY offensive, be warned!!

Click here to see entire page...

Ok, even if this is a joke, how far is too far???

here's the 'pay scale'


· Colored Males Under Age 12: $1,250.00
· Colored Females Under Age 12: $1,152.00
· White Males Under Age 9: $15,000.00
· White Females Under Age 9: $18,000.00

It has to be a joke, but sadly you know as well as I do, somebody, somewhere ....

Ok ok ok.... I have to admit, I DID sorta save this in my favorites ... just look at the gift shop link....I know... My hypocracy knows no bounds...

edit to add pay scale



[edit on 18-10-2008 by Haiku]

reply to post by Haiku


I hope this isn't true but the disclaimer at the bottom of the page makes it sound authentic. It sounds like they're trying to build an army!

It also sounds like they're a little prejudiced. The pay scale is like a slap in the face to African Americans.

This can't be legal. This is akin to people buying babies off the black market.

long live the landover baptist church i say

theres nothing like a good bit of satire, and luckily they ARE like a good bit of satire

reply to post by soldiermom


not come across them before then ^_^

its a satirical website that laughs at and parodies the outrageous crazy views of the funndie brigade

I agree!!! I want to stress again, the site IS very offensive pertaining to race,sex,creed and anything else you can follow thatt up with. I could not have posted any more 'direct from the site' material to the board without subjecting every one to an offensive type ideation. Be warned!!!

edit for punctuation



[edit on 18-10-2008 by Haiku]

I've had a look through a few pages on that website.
Its bloody awful, you'll burn in hell forever if you don't believe the same as us and God

$75 to attend a service by Pastor Deacon blah blah...

Punishment if you're bad, or you could just give us $500...

Americans who get angry when the world hates you, look at this website.
I know most of you are decent, problem is sometimes the only ones we see are these nutters.

Even if it isn't real, I think its hilarious because its exactly how many people I know view all these new-age American Christians...

Clearly that must be a sick joke.
Offering to buy children is illegal.
Not to mention immoral and sickeningly filthy.
Especially the price tag on African Americans compared to whites.
This would lead me to believe this was written by some wacko racist scumbag who needs a good beating.

I really want to believe that website is a joke, satire, taking the urine...

thing is, I can't understand who would put THAT much effort into it?
It appears to have been there for YEARS! News stories from 2003... like the 'We'll buy your child' bit.

take a look at the "Kristian Kids Korner" and have a read of "what christian kids want to know"

www.landoverbaptist.org...

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?
If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you, then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today... Learn More!

Will I see My Grandpa Naked After the Rapture?
Well, the answer is quite simple. In Heaven, there'll simply be no need for genitals. Our guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch... Learn More!

Does Jesus Watch Me Go Poopy?
Jesus knows that toilet time is also a dangerous time for young ladies like yourself – filled with horrid temptations of the flesh. After all, this – along with shower time – is one of the only occasions when True Christians™ have a legitimate reason to be briefly touching their filthy sex parts...Click Here to Learn More!

it is an extremly well done site and has been up for years, they also have a few youtube videos to go with it

Vacation Bible Gun Camp!
uk.youtube.com...

Landover Baptist Pastor Preaches to Atheists
uk.youtube.com... **had me in tearss of laughter literally**


they also have do or are linked with www.whitehouse.org...

reply to post by noobfun


That says's it was on CNN ? Does that look superimposed? Could this possibly be real?

I watched that video you posted, and I couldn't stop laughing after I heard "talking green testicle" LOL

reply to post by Haiku


speaking at an athiests rally yes deffinatley true

on CNN ... no i think they added that bit for comedy value

I've been going to the landover site for years...it's funny as hell. They're like westboro, but even better. Long live Pastor Deacon Fred. God love him...

reply to post by Haiku


This is a joke and the site was done by a guy named by Chris Harper! It is sick, but not a real church.

reply to post by erin5764


i love the way youve phrased that

usually everything after the but is bad thing

im fine but the cars totaled

we got drunk but then bob fell over

like every church should be expected to be sick lol

ill give ya a star for that rofl