reply to post by whatukno
The comparison you made is exactly why I would deal with it the way I said. I would much rather be dealing with having found out my daughter was
sending her boyfriend and a few friends nudie shots than my child was into hard drugs. Thats a whole different ball game, and hard to win on by the
way. Whereas, due to the embarrassment of being caught, and the many risk factors in sharing pics online that can be shared, without one cop being
involved, most children will start to self correct their behavior, as I myself noticed in both unrelated and related similar accounts with teenage
girls. I have noticed that drugs, which are a far more serious nature than nudie shots, or teenage sexual activity providing of course that the
teenager begins to be taught about choices, birth control, stds, also perhaps articles on relationships and dating.
Drugs are a battle that many lose on, and they lose the kid often to crime to support their behavior, or find their child hangs out with the group of
sociopaths, as within this group they accept each other. They will become more loyal to the group that accepts each other than family members and
steal from their own friends and relatives to support this habit and their friends use of substances. School ends. And bouts of being in and out of
jail lie ahead.
Not due to misbehaving, or taking pictures of oneself, but due to break and enters and property thefts, or stealing from a local piza store, or
ripping apart houses and breaking up the walls. I personally watched the downhill slide of a sweet young kid my sons knew since he was 6 go that way.
He had to phone his mom to come and pick him up when he stayed over night, at midnight, because he was still unready for sleepovers. But due to
learning disabilities and other things, he and his brother got too much to handle in teenage years so she gave them up to the system. Then she got
into drugs for a short while. We let him visit, and saw his heart break, then harden, then suddenly the new friends and the drugs.
Sorry, you really are comparing apples and oranges. For some reason you can't see how minor this misbehaving is compared to the more serious
worries families have.
To me, this really stems from a seeming inability for some to wrap their brains around teenage girls and sexual behavior. The age old whore/madonna
syndrome. Believing that sex is a crime or sin, unless in wedlock. Actually most parents will win on the internet and sharing pictures issue, but
won't win if she's already sexually active with her boyfriend. And their attitude is going to affect their relationship and openness and friendship
with their child for the rest of their life on this issue, and if they chose to be harsh or disciplinarian.
A teenager who is already sexually active with a boyfriend is not going to be willing to stop and become a child again. They need to be taught how to
prevent unwanted pregnancies and stds, and provided with birth control whether they want it or not! And further taught about relationship and various
issues ahead of the game so they don't just get hurt a lot. Doing it the right way ensures an open trusting relationship and years of friendship.
Doing this the wrong way, permanently fractures the bond and they realize you don't respect them or truly love them unless they act a certain way,
and try to imagine for one minute what involving a police officer about such matters would do to your child image of you now, and 15 years later even
with your grandchildren.
I don't think you've had children, or at least not teenagers, to not understand the line between parenting, teaching moments, guiding the child to
make choices themselves that are healthy, helping children self correct their behavior and learn from their mistakes, and keep your friendship and
openness strong, versus judgmental control and harshness.
[edit on 17-10-2008 by mystiq]