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Why do women break up with nice guys?

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posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 12:36 PM
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reply to post by insubordinate
 


Yay, someone who understands people are all different!

Of course, you notice the ones who have that realization don't seem to have difficulties in the relationship department?

I will say this until I am blue in the face:

"If you walk around claiming to be a nice guy, you are anything but."

That is called arrogance, and it is the farthest you can get from nice without being mean. You know this is true, because you have the "other side" trying to call me arrogant. (Key word is try, one has to be arrogant for the name to stick.)




posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 12:41 PM
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reply to post by Edrick
 


Ahh I see what your problem is, you think that this sentence is referring to myself!


Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.


Don't you understand? Here, let me spell it out:

"Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say."

I am talking about the OTHER POSTERS posts! Not my own. What THEY are posting is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. Did you get that?

What YOU were saying is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say.

What THEY were saying is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say.

Jeez.

Can we talk about the topic now? Or do you have more "picking" to do, since you don't seem to have a leg to stand on in regards to the topic.

And I am the infantilist? I seem to be acting the most like an adult in here...at least on the last page...

Anyway, I feel I have defended myself enough against this brand of ignorance. If the you continue to act in such a manner I will be reporting this thread to a Mod. I am not fooled by your shenanigans


EDIT--
Lol, I will log out again so you can respond.
(Like I didn't notice that.)
edit on 10/7/2010 by adigregorio because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 01:32 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



And, last but not least, do anything but talk about the topic!



The Topic at Hand is: Why do women break up with nice guys?

Page 16 Thereof.

WE were discussing your Lies.


The One where you claimed that *ALL NICE GUYS* are really, Shady... Manipulative [snips]....


YOUR PROOF, was your own life.... and your claim to count yourself as a "Nice Guy"

As evidenced by this quote:


Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.




You claim that "Nice Guys" are Liars, because you called YOURSELF a Nice Guy, and Lie.

IT's just like you said....


Like I said, I never claimed to be a nice guy


You never Claimed to be a nice Guy....


Except for the part where you called "Nice Guys" Liars.... and listed yourself AS one, to Claim Credibility.



I didn't honestly think that I would need to DIRECTLY address you further on this matter.


-Edrick



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 01:37 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



I am talking about the OTHER POSTERS posts! Not my own. What THEY are posting is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. Did you get that?

What YOU were saying is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say.

What THEY were saying is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say.


So, you are then claiming that *I* label myself a Nice Guy.... and yet, am Not Nice, and therefore a Liar...

IS that It?

Apparently that IS....


So.


Do I need to link to the part where I explain that I am NOT NICE?


Or do we need to discuss this further?

-Edrick



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 07:51 AM
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I'm not going to go through your post point by point, arguing for page after page about how you can't take a joke.
So I'll just respond to this quote as this is where the confusion arises.



Originally posted by adigregorio

What WERE you saying then?




I was saying (actually joking about) that you being a virgin was an issue in those relationships.
You said that it wasn't an issue... I jokingly said "You keep telling yourself that mate" because in England, that is called banter... it is a kind of sarcastic silly humour.

So for you to bring up racism and homophobia..... was just ridiculous.


I have no idea what your issue is.... I have no intention of discussing the topic, this thread is in BTS so by It's very nature is a light-hearted thread.
If you can't take a joke, as I said, Grow up.


edit on 8/10/10 by blupblup because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 11:49 AM
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adigregorio,



Arrr!

The topic is too hard to discuss! I have to do anything in my power to switch the argument back to something I can control!


This is feminine and also shows insecurity..once again feminine.

Men know they will have to step out to arenas where they face danger, conditions which they do not control and come back whole and alive. They do not come across as insecure about it as do you in this quote. Men will also see this in you. So to will women. This is why many women do not like nice guys. Nice guys dont inspire confidence in these women.

Men who know..also dont care what others think of them..even many women. They dont lose sleep over it. They know where they must go and what they must do. THey also know they must often do it alone and survive and that most women will not be there with them taking the RISKS.

Your quote above hints at an inability to take certain RISKS..which is often a declaration of a "Nice Guy."
Women know and can sense this like radar in the dark of night.

Most women prefer men who are capable of taking RISKS so that they will not have to.

This is not the same thing as people are all different.

Grow up Dude.

Orangetom


edit on 8-10-2010 by orangetom1999 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 11:55 AM
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Originally posted by Edrick
WE were discussing your Lies.

Wrong! Never lied



Originally posted by Edrick
YOUR PROOF, was your own life.... and your claim to count yourself as a "Nice Guy"

As evidenced by this quote:


Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.

Are you having that much trouble comprehending?

I was NOT CALLING MYSELF A NICE GUY! Jesus man, learn to read!

I was pointing out what YOU WERE SAYING and what OTHERS WERE SAYING was the opposite of what a nice guy would say.

I was pointing out what YOU WERE SAYING and what OTHERS WERE SAYING was the opposite of what a nice guy would say.

I was pointing out what YOU WERE SAYING and what OTHERS WERE SAYING was the opposite of what a nice guy would say.

(Did you read it that time?)


Originally posted by Edrick
You claim that "Nice Guys" are Liars, because you called YOURSELF a Nice Guy, and Lie.

I never called myself a nice guy. YOU are lying. And now that you know this, you are scrambling to make your lie the truth.

I have said SINCE MY FIRST POST that I am NOT A NICE GUY. So quit trying to lie.



Originally posted by Edrick
Except for the part where you called "Nice Guys" Liars.... and listed yourself AS one, to Claim Credibility.

You really have trouble with comprehension, at least you are fegining it.


I was pointing out what YOU WERE SAYING and what OTHERS WERE SAYING was the opposite of what a nice guy would say.

Did you read it this time?

How long before you give up? Oh, and I almost forgot:

I was pointing out what YOU WERE SAYING and what OTHERS WERE SAYING was the opposite of what a nice guy would say.



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 12:03 PM
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Originally posted by blupblup
I'm not going to go through your post point by point, arguing for page after page about how you can't take a joke.

I can take a joke, just not when you come in to just joke using my lifestyle as an expense. Furthermore, I don't understand the need to make fun of my lifestyle while completely avoiding the topic.

But, I will just chalk it up to immaturity and I will "Take the joke"...


I was saying (actually joking about) that you being a virgin was an issue in those relationships.

Right, and this is "funny" how? How is "picking on someone" a joke? Oh, I know and I called you on it.


You said that it wasn't an issue... I jokingly said "You keep telling yourself that mate" because in England, that is called banter... it is a kind of sarcastic silly humour.

I thought "mate" was Australian? All well, guess it is just my American ignorance. If your intentions were truly to just be "silly" then you have my apologies. I am currently being harassed by another poster, and my subsequent postings will be affected.

So I will say that again, if your intentions were just for "jest" then I apologize for getting all "up in arms"

Though I still say talk about the topic.


So for you to bring up racism and homophobia..... was just ridiculous.

Correct, if your intentions were just "silly humor".

However, the other posters intentions are fairly clear. Again, apologies if needed.



I have no idea what your issue is.... I have no intention of discussing the topic, this thread is in BTS so by It's very nature is a light-hearted thread.

Thanks for the honesty, though saying that you have no intentions of following the sites rules isn't very "nice guy".

Which is the topic of the thread, and staying on topic is a rule. And nice guys follow rules...


If you can't take a joke, as I said, Grow up.

This makes me believe your intentions were more than just "silly humor". If you had intended humor, when it failed YOU would have apologized for offending me (Well that is what a "nice guy" would have done anyway.)

I will take your word that your intentions were "nice". Though it sure doesn't look/feel that way.



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 12:12 PM
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Originally posted by orangetom1999
adigregorio,


Arrr!

The topic is too hard to discuss! I have to do anything in my power to switch the argument back to something I can control!


This is feminine and also shows insecurity..once again feminine.

What? I was being sarcastic there, pretending to be the "other side" of the argument. I find the topic REAL easy to talk about, it is everyone else that seems to have trouble sticking to it...


Originally posted by orangetom1999
Men know they will have to step out to arenas where they face danger...
...conditions which they do not control and come back whole and alive.
...do not come across as insecure about it as do you in this quote.

(Ignoring the "in this quote" part due to the misunderstanding.)

You bring up some VERY VALID points here. Due to the societal conditioning we put our humans through, what you said above is a variable in the "nice guy". However, why would you want to date a gal that wants guys that are "bad"?

I read through the rest of your post, and you and I are on the same page. You came in a little late, check page 13 (I think) for my first post. I tried to keep my posts on topic, but well that doesn't work when you are debating with "nice guys"


1) I am not a nice guy
2) I have no troubles in the relationship department

Lastly, I don't want to "grow up" unless someone wishes to offer constructive criticism as to why I am not "grown". I mean outrageous claims require outrageous evidence...

(Seriously though, I am the infantilist shouldn't I be the one acting insulting and childish?(I am assuming I am not doing so already...))
edit on 10/8/2010 by adigregorio because: To repair quotes, or shooting off a bb



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 01:06 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



Wrong! Never lied


We can clearly see that you did.



I was pointing out what YOU WERE SAYING and what OTHERS WERE SAYING was the opposite of what a nice guy would say.


You claim that "Nice Guys" are Not actually Nice, because I am not nice.

You presume that I call myself a Nice Guy.

You presume this quite loudly, and repeatedly.


You are wrong... You have been wrong for at least 3 pages now.

-Edrick



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 01:12 PM
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reply to post by Edrick
 


You just won't read, will you...

What is so hard to understand, I was not talking about myself with that sentence?

(Nothing, you just have no other argument...)

Anyway!

As I pointed out, expertly, no one in this thread is a "nice guy". Which, just helps to show that my argument of:

No such thing as a "Nice Guy"

Well, it shows that it is true. Or at least truer than the "other side"!

Thank you for helping! Which is why the thread has gone the way it has, people don't like being tricked. Which is ANOTHER aspect of the "nice guy".

They essentially are trying to "trick" the girls into liking them, then when caught they act in a manner that is THE EXACT SAME as the way these folks have been acting towards me. (Now you (reader) see why they are arguing they way they are, why they must find some small snippet that is a lie. If it had been a lie, they would all be back on the thread beating me down.)

Better luck next time, or "nice" try!



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 01:12 PM
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Originally posted by adigregorio
I thought "mate" was Australian? All well, guess it is just my American ignorance.



Na It's English, Via Germany.

en.wiktionary.org...






If your intentions were truly to just be "silly" then you have my apologies. I am currently being harassed by another poster, and my subsequent postings will be affected.




Well I didn't read anything other than your post so had no context, just saw that and thought I'd make a cheeky quip... no offence was meant and I was actually shocked you found it offensive.
But knowing now that you were dealing with another poster and obviously in defence mode, I understand why you saw it that way I guess.

I apologise also.






Correct, if your intentions were just "silly humor".

However, the other posters intentions are fairly clear. Again, apologies if needed.




Well I have no idea what anyone else's motivations and intentions are, I didn't read the thread and had no idea what was going on... just said what I did and thought it would be received the way I intended it.







This makes me believe your intentions were more than just "silly humor". If you had intended humor, when it failed YOU would have apologized for offending me (Well that is what a "nice guy" would have done anyway.)

I will take your word that your intentions were "nice". Though it sure doesn't look/feel that way.




Well again, I apologise if you were actually offended, wasn't my intention.
I just saw an opportunity for a (In my opinion) humorous line or two and just went for it.
This being BTS and all.... not a serious thread.

But it is my fault for not reading through, not sticking to the topic and not realising that humour often doesn't translate and is not universal.

Peace

edit on 8/10/10 by blupblup because: spelling, as usual



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 01:32 PM
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reply to post by blupblup
 


Heh, gotta love text communications.

I know the same thing is happening with Elrick (SP maybe), I just don't have the skills to word my posts succinctly enough. Oh, and he is a furious debater! (Furious in a "goodish" way.)

(Clarification- Rest of post is for all readers, not just the post I am responding to.)

I respond well to honest questions (Which would clear up the whole thread.) But being human, I assumed that none would be offered. Perhaps if folks could state exactly what they think I am saying...

1) Never said I was a nice guy, nor did I post anything that was to that intent. So if something I posted looks as such, it is in the delivery.

2) Arrogant, yes to an extent. But I feel (heh) that it is not involved in this thread, except when I get "heated" over not being understood.

3) ?

4) ?

(See those questions, those are causing the strife in the thread. Fill them in, please. I want to discuss the topic, way more than myself. However, it seems myself is in the way of the topic.)

Lastly, if I am truly "wrong" all it takes is a majority for me to change my ways. Unfortunately, we don't have that either

Stalemate!

TOPIC--

1) When I say "nice guy" I am not talking about a guy who is nice. I am talking about guys who walk around calling themselves "nice guys". Guys who write threads about being "nice" when they are not.

2) When I refer to "nice guys" posting to me who were not nice. I am not referring to everyone who has posted towards me, only those who have said earlier that they were "nice guys"
(IE Not Elrick (SP maybe))

I tried to be as clear as possible when typing that out. Though, as I have said already, my typing communication skills are not "up to par" for forum debate (apparently).

I think that covers everything I think is causing problems in here. Meh, what do I know. I just don't like "nice guys" (Remember #1 from the TOPIC-- section)
edit on 10/8/2010 by adigregorio because: Clarifcation



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 02:29 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



You just won't read, will you...

What is so hard to understand, I was not talking about myself with that sentence?


You are making sweeping generalizations about a classification of male's, in regards to their Honor, Honesty, and, Civility.

You are trying to state that anyone who calls themselves a "Nice Guy" is actually a Liar.



You are poking Fun at someone, who is trying to get an alternate perspective to their problem... You are slapping them in the Face with Derision, and Condescension.


Then, You Brag on yourself, and your ability to Get Women, despite your Diaper Fetish.


You are Being an [snip], for No reason.


Don't Be That Guy.

-Edrick



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 02:52 PM
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Originally posted by Edrick
You are making sweeping generalizations about a classification of male's, in regards to their Honor, Honesty, and, Civility.

AHA! I found one! (A misunderstanding!)

I am talking about a "nice guy" not nice guys.

I tried to establish that what I call a "nice guy" is:

1) Arrogant (Walks around stating how "nice" he is.)
2) Lies (Since arrogance is not "nice"...



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 02:59 PM
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adigregorio,



You bring up some VERY VALID points here. Due to the societal conditioning we put our humans through, what you said above is a variable in the "nice guy". However, why would you want to date a gal that wants guys that are "bad"?


Thanks for the clarification adigregorio.

I think we might have a difference in translation or understanding here. I too am not a "nice guy." Not much use for that kind of thing. I also dont have much use for "bad guys " as I find that kind of thing overated. Not interested in that sort of thing.

Also women who know, find that "Bad guys" in their own way are "high maintenance." Most of the women I know are not looking to increase their maintenance costs by taking on a man or male who is higher maintenance than they or their children as well. Nice guys who are not nice guys also tend to be "High Maintenance." Same as Bad guys. They are not as advertised...just like a politician.
The bad guy may be interesting for awhile but long term tends to be high maintenance. Especially among women whose operating modus is to replace a man's thinking and beliefs with her's.

Most women are interested in "Options" for themselves and or their children.

Thanks,
Orangetom



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 03:01 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 


I suppose that it may have been a misalignment of perceptions...


If I had been "bragging" and these folks were genuinely nice, then yeah I would be being a [snip].


I'm glad you see my point.


Lastly, and just a pet peeve of mine. My lifestyle tis not a fetish, that would be a "Diaper Lover". It is buried in that wiki article, somewhere.


Well then... my apologies if you are suffering from a medical condition.



So while I see your stance, I don't see they guys you speak of. Just these charlatans, masquerading as nice guys.


You are entitled to your opinion.

-Edrick



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 03:05 PM
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Originally posted by orangetom1999
Most women are interested in "Options" for themselves and or their children.


Even this is too specific, if you want to know what a Woman wants just look at what you want.

(Not that you are a woman, but you are human (I assume))

Well the Woman is a human too, and being human all she wants are things that "entertain" or make her happy.
^^^^^

THAT is too specific too.

It all boils down to personal preference (as always). The human (man or woman) is going to want what makes it happy, if it is not you then it won't want you.



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 03:06 PM
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reply to post by Edrick
 


No answer for this question?


He even admits that his behavior is not "best" in this sentence. Elrick, in all of your stance you say "Nice traits should not be discarded" (paraphrased). So I ask:

Is this OPer a "nice guy"? Would your definintion of a nice guy act in this manner? Or would he be HIMSELF on a date? Would he know that there is no BETTER when looking at his mate?


Before you can claim my stance is an opinion, you need to point out a real nice guy.



posted on Oct, 8 2010 @ 06:28 PM
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reply to post by riley
 


i agree with this dude. what is a 'nice guy.' i know there are people who are generally nicer than others but how can you label yourself a 'nice guy.'

i'm pretty nice to my girlfriend. not when we fight and sometimes not when i'm in a bad mood. but i try to make up for those times by being genuinely great afterward or othertimes.

i find that most people who describe themselves as 'nice guys' are kinda manipulative or are following kind of the anti-macho script that we see in alot of indie movies etc. Kinda the 'i'm your best friend who just happens to be dating you' schtick.

odds are you're not her true best friend. she's known people way before she's met you. and if you just met her you're probably not going to be her true best friend for a long time.

just be yourself. treat her as soemone you're in a relationship with and not someone to be won over by one extreme or the other, or any 'personality' for that matter. just be you.



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