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Why do women break up with nice guys?

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posted on Oct, 3 2010 @ 03:06 AM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



"Girls won't go out with me cause I am a nice guy!"


No, you got it all Wrong.


The Title of the Thread is:

Why do Women break up with nice guys



Am I to believe that the multiple "girls" are wrong, and the one "nice guy" is correct?


Are you presuming that the popularity of an opinion automatically equals it's Validity?


Now, I am not saying calling oneself a "nice guy" is wrong. That is up to the beholder, in my opinion, not a good idea.


So, if you think you are Nice, then you are actually being a [snip]


So, "Nice" is actually a contradictory statement that means Kind *AND* UNKIND simultaneously... Like a Quantum Effect?



Your Fnord surfing is truly a spectacle to behold.

-Edrick (FNORD!)


edit on 3-10-2010 by Edrick because: error correction, fixing the Fnords




posted on Oct, 3 2010 @ 03:09 AM
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Now that I think about it more, this thread needs more topic!

If you browse the last few pages you can see several "attempts" to refute my position. I say attempt, because once the "logic" in their posts fail, it is time to focus on me.

That's okay though, it just solidifies what I have been saying. All one has to do is see how these folks act in here, to see why gals are avoiding them.

Anyway, I still say you need to work on yourself. If you think it is the "girls" fault that you can't keep a date, get a date, or whatever. Well, that doesn't mean it is the girls fault. Especially if it happens enough to make a thread about it.



posted on Oct, 3 2010 @ 03:14 AM
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Now that I think about it, I think that Society completely Despises Men who do not sleep with many, many women.

Now that I recall correctly, It seems that some people would use this as a sort of bullwhip to keep opinions safely within the existing Status Quo, where the Lying Elite are elevated FAR above (and at the expense of) everyone Else.

I guess that's one of the Reasons that Virginity in a Female has been seen traditionally as a Virtue.

And Virginity in a male is Seen as a Genetic Deficiency.



Funny that... Ain't it?



You ain't a Man, until a Woman Says So.





-Edrick (Your Fnord Broke)



posted on Oct, 3 2010 @ 03:21 AM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 


I thought I would tell a little bit about myself, so folks could better understand how I came to my conclusions

1) I am 29 years of age (30 on Oct 22nd)

2) I am still a virgin


3) I am an Infantilist
I am reminded of masculinity for some reason

Now, even with those 3 things, I don't have trouble finding the gals. Keeping them, well we don't stick together but it has nothing to do with that list. (Other than #2 that has ended a couple of relationships)

4) For a long time, I used to wave the "nice guy" flag

Long time = 10+ years

So for that time I ran around complaining that girls didn't like me because I was a "nice guy". But that wasn't the real reason, I didn't find that out until the end of those ten years.

The real reason? Why, it is super simple. When I would approach a woman, I was under the mindset of "I am a nice guy", right? Well, since the whole concept is "self defeating" I shot myself in the foot before I even took a step.

The girls could smell this on me like a bad cologne. And while they would love to be my friend, anything more and it was out of the question.

Which brings us to "How do I 'fix' it?"

Assuming you feel "it" is broken, I can't really help you. What works(ed) for me, most likely will not work for you. All I can recommend is self reflection, figure out what part of the "nice guy" is causing the "smell" and eliminate it.



posted on Oct, 3 2010 @ 03:28 AM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



The real reason? Why, it is super simple. When I would approach a woman, I was under the mindset of "I am a nice guy", right? Well, since the whole concept is "self defeating" I shot myself in the foot before I even took a step.


Context is Good.


I agree with you here.


Trying to be Kind to others is a Good thing.

But being a "Nice Guy" is for some reason... Not Good.


A Nice Guy... is just someone who is kind in social interactions.


What is *MEANT* by "Nice" + "*GUY*" is something other than the Intended Definition.


What do you Mean by "Nice Guy"

-Edrick


edit on 3-10-2010 by Edrick because: just asking.



posted on Oct, 5 2010 @ 07:32 AM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 


Are you sure they were OK with the diaper-wearing?

By the way, that really changes the image I have of you from your avatar!



posted on Oct, 5 2010 @ 07:58 AM
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Originally posted by adigregorio
reply to post by adigregorio
 

2) I am still a virgin


3) I am an Infantilist
I am reminded of masculinity for some reason

Now, even with those 3 things, I don't have trouble finding the gals. Keeping them, well we don't stick together but it has nothing to do with that list. (Other than #2 that has ended a couple of relationships)





Uh huh.... you keep telling yourself that mate


Good on you though
Whatever floats your boat man.



posted on Oct, 5 2010 @ 06:47 PM
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Originally posted by oniongrass
Are you sure they were OK with the diaper-wearing?

See, I knew this is the way the discussion would go. You know why?

Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.

So, based on this, the whole stance is BS! Since they are NOT "nice guys" it MUST be another reason the girls don't like them. And, I think I even know what that reason is!


Originally posted by oniongrass
By the way, that really changes the image I have of you from your avatar!

See this? This is called pre-judging. Something that many have been doing since entering the thread, although at least this one isn't wrought with mass generalizations.

Anyway, I would assume that the girls don't like "nice guys" because they are pre-judged them. I mean, who are they to make informed decisions about others?

Now, the sentence:

"That really changes the image I have of you..."

I bet we move to the: "I was making jest" argument, as to keep the tracks covered. But "we" know what that really means, don't we. I mean, I am almost 30 now, so I have heard every innuendo possible regarding my lifestyle.

So, what is your image "of my avatar"? What does it have to do with the topic? I noticed you shut your mouth about the topic when I came in, now when this tid-bit is revealed you feel the "need" to come in again? THAT is funny! I guess the only way for you to feel "man enough" to discuss something with me is if you know I am wearing a diaper.

And, even then, you just talk about the diaper and hide from the topic.

The funniest thing about all of this? I am trying to discuss things like an adult, and we have these infantilist actions taking place. I thought I was supposed to be acting like that, you know "Na-na you are a meanie head" (Or some other insult...)

Anyway, what happened? You had enough cajones to take a "shot" at me, where is the topic? Or do you now realize what you were saying/claiming earlier is pure ignorance?

----------------------------------------

The "other poster":


Originally posted by blupblup
.

Originally posted by adigregorio
2) I am still a virgin

3) I am an Infantilist
I am reminded of masculinity for some reason

Now, even with those 3 things, I don't have trouble finding the gals. Keeping them, well we don't stick together but it has nothing to do

with that list. (Other than #2 that has ended a couple of relationships)


Uh huh.... you keep telling yourself that mate

I don't have to "tell myself" anything. Do you know why?

Because I don't have troubles with relationships! I don't make threads bawling on how "girls don't like me cause I'm nice", especially when I am anything but nice!

Anyway, "telling yourself that". Which part exactly? Why must you feel the need to respond in this manner? I mean, that is a pretty childish response (Isn't it?).

Also, did you want to discuss the topic at all? Or did you just come in here to spew ignorance as well?


Originally posted by blupblup
Good on you though Whatever floats your boat man.

Yeah man, peace love dove. Like war man, like that is sooo like bad.

Great way to feign acceptance! It's like it dissolves your previous comment, though not really.

"I don't mind gays, blacks, (insert whatever), whatever works for them."

--TOPIC ALERT--
"Holy crap? He is going to talk about the topic too!?"

That's right, I am! You know why? Because that is why I am in this thread, to talk about the TOPIC! It never fails, when I mention the diapers, the ignorance meter spikes!

I have learned to use that spike to show the "nice guys" they are not nice at all. Look at those two comments above me! The first poster, well he was all gung-ho until I showed up (several pages back) then, well, he poofed! Now, like the Grinch's heart, a part of his body has grown three times.

Unfortunately, the "nice guy" never sees anything but their own self pity.

The best part of all this, a diaper wearing 29 year old man can get a gal, and they can't. And they are trying to say it is because they are "nice". HA!

I do not know if the second poster I responded to is a guy or a gal, so obviously until further "research" I am not directing the "nice guy" comments towards them.
edit on 10/5/2010 by adigregorio because: To repair quotes, or shooting off a bb



posted on Oct, 6 2010 @ 04:00 AM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



See, I knew this is the way the discussion would go. You know why?

Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.


So, you are saying that Your Self Professed Lies, mean that Men who practice Civility must be as deceptive and manipulative as you?


Appeal to probability: assumes that because something could happen, it is inevitable that it will happen.



Base rate fallacy: using weak evidence to make a probability judgment without taking into account known empirical statistics about the probability.



False dilemma (false dichotomy): where two alternative statements are held to be the only possible options, when in reality there are more.


-Edrick



posted on Oct, 6 2010 @ 10:20 AM
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Originally posted by adigregorio
I don't have to "tell myself" anything. Do you know why?

Because I don't have troubles with relationships! I don't make threads bawling on how "girls don't like me cause I'm nice", especially when I am anything but nice!

Anyway, "telling yourself that". Which part exactly? Why must you feel the need to respond in this manner? I mean, that is a pretty childish response (Isn't it?).




Er... It's called humour? I guess you missed the big smiley face at the end of my post

I was having a little fun.

I suggest you chill out man.... or change your Diaper, either way,





Yeah man, peace love dove. Like war man, like that is sooo like bad.
Great way to feign acceptance! It's like it dissolves your previous comment, though not really.

"I don't mind gays, blacks, (insert whatever), whatever works for them."



Yes... because that's clearly what I was saying.

You likening my humorous comment to homophobia or racism just shows how ridiculously insecure you are.
I'm actually shocked by your pathetic response to me.

Grow up.



posted on Oct, 6 2010 @ 03:13 PM
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Originally posted by blupblup
Er... It's called humour? I guess you missed the big smiley face at the end of my post

I was having a little fun.

Fair enough, but you have to admit that you were not talking about the topic at all. In fact, is that your first post in this thread?

"Having a little fun" at someone else;s expense is called something other than "fun" is it not?

But, like I said in my earlier response:

I bet we move to the: "I was making jest" argument, as to keep the tracks covered. But "we" know what that really means, don't we. I mean, I am almost 30 now, so I have heard every innuendo possible regarding my lifestyle.


Of course that part of my response was not directed right at you. But if the shoe fits...


Originally posted by blupblup
Yes... because that's clearly what I was saying.

What WERE you saying then?

You came in the thread, and made jest at my expense. I pointed out how other bigoted groups do the same thing, and you got all "up in arms". Methinks you doth protest too much.


Originally posted by blupblup
You likening my humorous comment to homophobia or racism just shows how ridiculously insecure you are.
I'm actually shocked by your pathetic response to me.

Ah so now the topic is how insecure people are? I didn't know we were talking about insecurities, let alone mine!

At least I am secure enough not to go into other peoples discussions and dirty them up with bigoted humor.


Grow up.

Yes, yes you should.


Lastly, the rude poster decided to comment at me again. I am responding for the thread, I am NOT responding to the rude poster directly.


Originally posted by Edrick
So, you are saying that Your Self Professed Lies, mean that Men who practice Civility must be as deceptive and manipulative as you?


As you can see he is fuming that I will not "yell" with him. He is even calling me a liar now, like I would lie about this! I suppose he will be demanding pictures of me in diapers pretty soon.


You know that "bad" feeling you guys are having right now, if you wouldn't do such bigoted things you wouldn't have that feeling when you get called out for it.

Anyway, did we want to talk about the topic at all? Or is my argument so solid the only defense is attacking my underwear?



posted on Oct, 6 2010 @ 10:03 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



As you can see he is fuming that I will not "yell" with him. He is even calling me a liar now, like I would lie about this! I suppose he will be demanding pictures of me in diapers pretty soon.


Oh, you ARE Arrogant, aren't you?

I can see you trying to cover up your lies.... let me Show you themz....



Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.


That was YOU, stating, that you were LYING about being "Nice", and yet you want NICE guys treated as if they *ARE* your Lying [snip]


You admitted to Lying, you did that of your own free will.

I am only Calling you a Liar.... because You SAID it was what YOU DO.

-Edrick
edit on 6-10-2010 by Edrick because: error correction



posted on Oct, 6 2010 @ 10:42 PM
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This will sound wrong being typed but its true.

Either Keep you woman under control by leading the way and being decisive and fearless, strong and ambitious OR keep them on their toes so they don't know what to expect ever, being spontaneous, challenging and lively.

Nice guys are stale. They are boring and polite and often become dull, predictable and easily manipulated.


Or you could try the Mystery Method and see if that works for you.



posted on Oct, 6 2010 @ 11:54 PM
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reply to post by MrRed
 



Nice guys are stale. They are boring and polite and often become dull, predictable and easily manipulated.


So, people who are Kind and Civil in social interactions are to be Shunned, Sexually... Amirite?



OR, you mean something *OTHER THAN* Nice Guys, when you say "Nice Guys"


So, when you say "Nice Guys Are... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....", What *EXACTLY* do you mean by "Nice Guys"?



Because the DEFINITION of "Nice Guys" is "Kind in social Interaction"



Now, are you trying to say that People who are CIVIL, should not be breeding?

Is that it?

-Edrick
edit on 6-10-2010 by Edrick because: clarification



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 04:23 AM
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Originally posted by Edrick
reply to post by adigregorio
 



As you can see he is fuming that I will not "yell" with him. He is even calling me a liar now, like I would lie about this! I suppose he will be demanding pictures of me in diapers pretty soon.


Oh, you ARE Arrogant, aren't you?

I can see you trying to cover up your lies.... let me Show you themz....



Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.


That was YOU, stating, that you were LYING about being "Nice", and yet you want NICE guys treated as if they *ARE* your Lying [snip]


Just to show the readers that this poster is incorrect in his "harassments", this is from my very first post in the thread (right at the bottom)

Originally posted by adigregorio
(Oh, and I am not a "nice guy" I am me. If the gal doesn't like that, then awesome! You know why? Because I don't control people, though that would be kinda awesome too.)


As you can see this poster has no intention of debating. They are just trying to muddy the water.

And still I stand next to my rock hard argument! Which is awesome!
edit on 10/7/2010 by adigregorio because: caws i Caant spell good



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 05:52 AM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.


-Edrick



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 11:25 AM
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Originally posted by Edrick
reply to post by adigregorio
 



As you can see he is fuming that I will not "yell" with him. He is even calling me a liar now, like I would lie about this! I suppose he will be demanding pictures of me in diapers pretty soon.


Oh, you ARE Arrogant, aren't you?

I can see you trying to cover up your lies.... let me Show you themz....



Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.


That was YOU, stating, that you were LYING about being "Nice", and yet you want NICE guys treated as if they *ARE* your Lying [snip]


Just to show the readers that this poster is incorrect in his "harassments", this is from my very first post in the thread (right at the bottom)

Originally posted by adigregorio
(Oh, and I am not a "nice guy" I am me. If the gal doesn't like that, then awesome! You know why? Because I don't control people, though that would be kinda awesome too.)


As you can see this poster has no intention of debating. They are just trying to muddy the water.

And still I stand next to my rock hard argument! Which is awesome!

---------------------------

See I can re-post stuff too! Like I said, I never claimed to be a nice guy (that was the other side of the argument there dear.)

(Though your continued ignorance got me to respond to you, which was your intent I am sure. So be sure to point out how I am posting to you in your response
So predictable.)

Seriously! I mean it's like they have no leg to stand on in here, so it is grasp at straws!

Liar, ha! They call me a liar, say that I called myself a "nice guy" (Like I would ever make that mistake!)

Then to prove they are not nice, I reveal my lifestyle. They take the bait, being predictable "nice guys". So I point out that what they are doing is "not nice". Just because I used your bigotry to show how un-nice you are, doesn't make me a liar.

Though it is a fancy way of shifting the blame, isn't it?

I AM an infantilist
I AM NOT a nice guy (never said I was)
edit on 10/7/2010 by adigregorio because: To re-word


EDIT--
Oh, and A+ on using that ignorance to get me to respond to you! I am sure you will want to point out how I am posting to you after I said I was done. (Which I think was the intent of this whole charade.)
edit on 10/7/2010 by adigregorio because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 12:28 PM
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reply to post by adigregorio
 



Like I said, I never claimed to be a nice guy



Because it is the opposite of what a "nice guy" would say. I threw my lifestyle in here, to show that some people, who profess to be nice, are actually the opposite.



ARrrrrrrr....

-Edrick



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 12:30 PM
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Just be yourself! Don't try to act and don't try to be someone you are not!

Talk about what interests her and then find some commonalities between each other! If things don't work out... Remain friends and keep on looking!

Partners usually come when you least expect it! I know mine did



posted on Oct, 7 2010 @ 12:33 PM
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reply to post by Edrick
 


Arrr!

The topic is too hard to discuss! I have to do anything in my power to switch the argument back to something I can control!

(I already showed it was the others lying not myself.)

It really is simple, watch:

1) You have guys who claim to be nice

2) You reveal that tid-bit about your life

3) You have guys who claim to be nice, but act different.

Oh, and 4) You have guys who get caught being wrong, trying really hard to "win".

Anyway, keep TRYING to shift the blame.


And, last but not least, do anything but talk about the topic!



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