"Duhpocalypse Now"

There is a new threat on the horizon, and it hasn't gotten nearly enough attention; this destroyer of worlds is known as the Duh-pocalypse.

Duh-pocalypse = when the number of idiots exceeds the number of thinkers in any given area, be it worldwide or in your very own home.

The duh-pocalypse doesn't have to be a worldwide phenomenon...it can happen while you are all alone (just turn on the TV and tune in to "The Hills"...you'll see what I mean.)

I should make it clear that I'm no genius myself (I once walked into a one-story building and asked where the elevator was), and I'm certainly no elitist/buzzkill/prissy pants. I love, LOVE anything that is absurd, silly, ironic, or just plain funny, as evidenced by the following:

I firmly believe that a well-placed fart is just about the funniest....thing...EVER (if you think me juvenile, well...you're a poopy-pants.)

I would inflict bodily harm on anyone who blocks the TV while any of the following are on:
Monty Python, Little Britain (eh eh ehhhhh), Robot Chicken, Dumb & Dumber, Jackass: The Movie, and Borat.

I am left weak in the knees by anyone, including me, who slips and/or falls (and is left unhurt, of course).




That being said, the following are a few examples of my own personal experience of the current Duh-pocalypse:

A post on ATS containing the word "ludacris" rather than "ludicrous;" I'm 99.9% sure that it wasn't used in an ironic sense. Hell, for all I know, the poster may have been Ludacris' cousin, Rickdiculous (apologies to SNL for cribbing this line).

George W. Bush ("strategery", that "hee hee hee" laugh, etc.)

A conversation I had with someone who breathlessly recounted her tale of being forced to "evaporate" to escape the wrath of Hurricane Gustav.



Man, I could go on and on, but I just KNOW that many of my fellow ATSers have experienced the Duh-pocalypse in some form, so I would really love to hear about it.


Please, do tell
Ezzi

[edit on 13-10-2008 by ezziboo]

[edit on 13-10-2008 by ezziboo]

[edit on 13-10-2008 by ezziboo]

[edit on 13-10-2008 by ezziboo]

Sorry for the bump, but thanks for the star & flag, whoever you may be!

Come on ya'll....I am positive that there are many stories of stupidity out there...spill 'em!

i was talking to this girl about 3 days before christmas and she said "isnt it funny how jesus was born on christmas. maybe thats why hes the son of god"

i wish i cut her off but i didnt

"do you think everyone who was born on the 25th is the son of god"


made me rethink my entire life and i called my mom and thanked her for forcing me to read.

reply to post by N. Tesla



Priceless, Nikolai Tesla.
I can be a real Edith Bunker-type dingbat, but man....I think your gal has me beat.

reply to post by N. Tesla


Somebody's gene pool could use some chlorine.

What does this have to do with Economics? ..

Is this a "there's your sign" moment?

I know a girl who is legendary for her abysmal stupidity, She actually made a statement that people from New Mexico shouldn't be allowed in the US,I was there I heard her I have a tattoo shop and I had an image of Stonehenge hanging on my wall, This girl I was tattooing said ,'what is that ? Is that a real place on this Earth?"

I am half expecting the future to look something like the movie "Idiocracy/"

But I drive around all day as I work, so I know that natural selection is just not working.

I am half expecting the future to look something like the movie "Idiocracy."

But I drive around all day as I work, so I know that natural selection is just not working.

[edit on 13-10-2008 by Grumble]

Originally posted by invisiblewoman
I know a girl who is legendary for her abysmal stupidity, She actually made a statement that people from New Mexico shouldn't be allowed in the US,I was there I heard her

I have a tattoo shop and I had an image of Stonehenge hanging on my wall, This girl I was tattooing said ,'what is that ? Is that a real place on this Earth?"

Haha...

Have you tried fooling her with that "Chicken of the Sea" line?

Originally posted by Rockpuck
What does this have to do with Economics? ..

Is this a "there's your sign" moment?

Apocalypse=Global Meltdown

Duhpocalypse=Apocalypse via cataclysmic stupidity


Here's your sign...
Ezzi

**Edit: thanks to Alien for moving the thread!**

[edit on 13-10-2008 by ezziboo]

[edit on 13-10-2008 by ezziboo]

my brothers girlfriend asked us where milk came from, i thought that was funny until i was told she had asked the same thing about carrots and bacon. she's blond, seriously blond.

my girlfriend, who is very intelligent but not very interested in general encyclopedic stuff, is constantly asking me random questions. i tend to make up strange stories to see if she'll believe it. my favorites are telling her peanuts are stale peas and that people have curly hair because their parents made them wear a bonnet as a child, the closeness of the fabric causing the hair to bend, much as underwear does.

of course when i told her peanuts grow underground she didn't believe that either. meh.

Just for you Rockpuck, my recent favorite duhpocalyptic scenarios:


Earning $50,000 per year and buying a $400,000 home with a no-money-down, interest-only loan in hopes of selling the house for profit within a couple of years.

Credit default swaps.

Mortage backed securities.

Taxpayers bailing out all of the above (WITHOUT our consent)...ooo, I this is actually apocalyptic rather than duhpocalyptic...

Rockpuck, you are a buzzkill! I kid...

reply to post by ezziboo


The apocalypse is coming, duh. You cannot fool plucky. I wasn't born yesterday!



[edit on 13-10-2008 by pluckynoonez]

Last Saturday my 9 year old granddaughter came over to borrow some lettuce.

I had just been shopping and had a fresh head. I gave it to her and was shocked when she exclaimed, "No Meme, it's that stringy stuff in a bag."

I nearly fell to the floor laughing as I explained how lettuce originally starts as a head of lettuce leaves and doesn't grow as shreds.

reply to post by pluckynoonez


It has been written:
yea, heareth this, all of you! Upon the repeated appearance of an emaciated blonde with no upper lip, "the crazy-eyes", an undeniably Botoxed forehead, a perpetually pained facial expression, and
a predeliction for moose-killers, woe unto you all for the end of days draws nigh!

well here it goes... my DUHpocalpse moment...

no one has posted something they did so i am really risking a lot here.. haha
but today i did something i was so embarrassed of and made the entire office laugh and tease me all day

Me and the people around me at work sometimes like to start rubber band fights and fling them at eachother...
i picked up a very old one and was aiming for this older mans head and i was aiming for a bit too long i guess because the rubberband broke and it flung back hard as hell and hit me right in the eye lmfaaaaaoooooooo

omg. i had a huge red mark between my eyes and had to wear it all day... my co workers were not kind about it at all..

reply to post by pluckynoonez

I know I'm off topic but that woman's eyes freak me out.

I've watched her standing by McCain several times and her eyes always look very strange.

Back on topic: I was in the drug store yesterday and a young lady was telling me she was there to get her perception filled because she was infested. I backed away and asked her what she was infested with and she said strep throat. So she was getting a perception for an infestation.

Being the total nerd I am I explained she was getting a prescription for an infection. She didn't seem to comprehend my words. Duh

what a great thread - needed to be done :p

My sister is very intelligent but is extremely naive. The other day we were watching a documentary on Tarsiers (the strange looking monkey with the big eyes) when she walked in and said 'what!?' ... i blankly told her that it was a Possessed Furby and they are doing a special report on it. She believed me.

The other one is of a friend who said to his wife - "why do you want to put away (save) money for? Were going to spend it anyway"

reply to post by dizziedame


That reminds me of a boss I used to have who spoke English as a second language and used the words "unload" and 'download" interchangably.... she was going to go "download her car..."