I have to live on WHAT?!

$72.74 a week! Thats right, $72.74 a week that's what I get to try and eek by on every week after child support is taken out of my check. Isn't that just so nice of them?

I make currently $8.50 an hour at my lovely job in Detroit. I work a 40 hour week. Which comes to a gross taxable income of $340.00 per week. Then the government gets it's grubby hands on my paltry pay taking $25.90 for Federal, FICA for $21.08 & again for $4.93 (farg if I know why FICA is taken out twice) Michigan get's it's share of $11.86 and Detroit makes you pay a city tax of $4.93 (God knows why they make you pay an income tax in this hell hole)

So at the end of all the taxes and FICA and stuff I get left with a measly $271.30

Then Whoo hoo Child support starts in too. Now I agree I have to pay for supporting my son. (Even though I never get to see him or even talk to him on the phone) Now I had asked Florida to start taking it out of my checks here for the last two months. So they finally get up to Michigan and Michigan is going to take $198.56 out of each and every check, leaving me with $72.74 per week to live on.

And you girls on this board wonder why I'm so negative sometimes?

So I email the person in charge of this horror show and am awaiting to see if I get any glimmer of hope in trying to petition the court to try and reduce this fiasco so that I might have a chance at earning a living. Again, I agree, children should be supported by parents, I do owe child support for my son and should pay it. But at the same time do I not deserve to at least be able to keep enough to live on?

$72.74, man I would love to see the judge live off of $72.74 a week.

Children do need to be supported, but not at the expense of the parent. The parent (normally the father) should pay support in accordance with what he/she makes. Child support shouldn't be a punishment or a penalty.

When I was little, my father paid $250 per month to my mother, and my father made really good money. My mother didn't, so in my mind, he paid too little based on his income. Of course, he paid for my private school education, so I guess that evens it out.

And, you can't even see or talk to your son on the phone? Without knowing the facts, that is very unfair of the mother. It is unfair to you and to your son.

Like I said, a parent should support their child, but not to the point of putting the parent into poverty. Not fair (and I am a woman saying this.....). There needs to be more equality in the situation.

Wow that is pretty harsh... how are you supposed to pay rent or get food? Afford basic necessities? Any utilities?

I'm a single mother of a toddler and I live on probably $300 per month but I have no rent or utilities to pay other than a phone as I live with family. And that is living "lean" as I was raised by a single mother and I'm quite adept at living on next to nothing. Once my ex and I lived on $13-16 per week for groceries, but now it costs quite a bit more especially as I prefer more nutritious food. Even I, who comes from a background of poverty can see that this is grossly unfair.

I have no idea what that judge was thinking, you can't even rent a room for that little money let alone afford to survive.

My ex makes more than you, just under double... and he would only have to pay $130 or so per month if I chose to file for child support. Something seems wrong about how they calculated this.

[edit on 10-10-2008 by poisonmekare]

The judge didn't do a thing, just signed off on her lawyers order. Her lawyer wrote up everything. Now I am stuck with this. Not only am I stuck with this, I'm stuck with all the bad debt that we collected during the marriage.

I mean I do completely understand that my son deserves support if I am not to have custody of him half the time. Thats only fair, what's not fair is that I'm pretty much hosed, forced to live on what amounts to less than $300.00 a month.



There are other stipulations to the divorce decree as well that I simply cannot comply to, I am supposed to have health insurance for him, I can't afford it. I am supposed to also have a life insurance policy on myself payable to her. (Like hell I'm doing that one, the second I sign the damn life insurance policy, I'm signing my own death warrant.)

I wish there was equality in the justice system I really really do. I mean, my relationship with my son is gone forever. Even if I do manage to scrimp and save up the $2500.00 that a lawyer would want for a retainer, and take her to court, they wouldnt do anything but tell her to let me see him. Which of course she wouldnt. So that would be money thrown away. Then I would have to go again, and again, and again. For what? Nothing would change.

:shk:

[edit on 10/11/2008 by whatukno]

WUK, legitimate rant buddy. We all bitch about things on here but this is some heavy duty stuff. I'm very sorry to hear about that. I guess you have to get creative in terms of employment so they can't collect the only money you have to live on.

As an aside, I seriously thought you lived in the UK.

I dont know for certain, but it seems as if in your post you were saying that part of the reason you are paying so much is that you got behind somehow. You said you had asked them to take it out of your check, but they didnt, and I am guessing you didnt just set the money you knew you owed aside for when they surely would come asking for it.

Will the amount adjust down again once you make up the back payments?

Can you take a second job in the meanwhile? I certainly would. Hard to live on that amount per month.

Or, since you cannot afford a lawyer, contact legal aid and have them help you take her to court to get visitation. You certainly seem like you would qualify by income.

I do not think the system is inherently unfair to men. I grew up surrounded by children and mothers who got NO child support. The courts had to step in and get aggressive because too many guys were skipping out and refusing to pay.

While there are times and situations where the law does come down hard on people, like you, and I do feel for you, if anyone has to suffer in this situation it should be the parents, not the child. And, since you are the non custodial parent, that means you. My sympathies lie with the children in the case of divorces, not either of the parents. No matter how much the parents suffer, the kid is the one who really pays.

www.fathers-rights.com...

Here is a website that may give you some idea how to go about getting a lawyer and perhaps getting your child support adjusted or enforcing visitation, although moving to another state will probably not reinforce the idea that you wanted more visitation.


Edit to add;

An even better site that may help you get lower support payments. I just noticed the other one charges for stuff. This one offers free help.

family-law.freeadvice.com...


[edit on 11-10-2008 by Illusionsaregrander]

total buzz kill.

reply to post by Illusionsaregrander


I did get behind, the reason was because I was homeless, jobless and pretty much destitute.

Once I do make up the back payments the amount as it stands now goes down to about $600.00 per month which still leaves me with trying to live off of $500.00 per month.

Yes I know living in another state does look bad, (I don't really know why it matters, when I lived in Florida she wouldn't let me see him for over a year anyway, but I moved so I could not have to live in a homeless shelter, and actually get a job. Once I had a job I started paying regularly, voluntaraly what I knew the amount was that I was supposed to be paying. I have been in contact with CSE in Florida to get the income deduction order enforced and gave them the information for my job.

I didn't just skip out on paying, that's not it, I have gotten majorly behind because of being homeless and jobless, and I have to pay for that time I guess.

As far as a second job goes, I am looking, times are pretty rough in Michigan, I was fortunate to get this job as it is.

As far as suffering goes, from what I understand my ex's, new husband, makes a good enough income to where she does not have to work and gets to be a stay at home mom. While we were married she was the primary bread earner of the family. I don't know if they would take into account that now she is a stay at home mother, and not earning a wage into consideration if they were to adjust my support order, most likely it would increase my support owed because she could claim to not make any income.

As far as legal aide, my experiences with them has been terrible, when this whole thing started, I had primary custody of my son, (while she was dating the new guy) but they did not take into account that I had any bills to pay, they refused me based on income. (At the time I made $12.00 per hour) I seriously doubt they would help me now, they would come up with another excuse why I do not qualify for their assistance.

Father's rights is the biggest joke to hit humanity ever. Father's in general without money have NO RIGHTS. Plain and simple, I have absolutely no legal recourse unless I pay an attorney, even then the only thing that would happen is the court would request (not enforce with any ramifications) that she allow me to see my son.

She of course would refuse, I would again have to sue, nothing would happen, again I would have to sue, again nothing would happen, father's rights indeed. That is just a waste of time I don't have, and money obviously I don't have.

My only real recourse is to hire a lawyer (that I don't have the money to do) and sue to reduce the amount of child support that I have to pay. I would still be obligated for the back support even though it could be proven I didn't earn enough of an income to pay it. (read: any)

Poor fathers have no rights. That's the plain and simple of the matter. We just don't have any. Groups like www.fathers-rights.com... are a waste to people that have no money to begin with.

Hell if the court wouldn't do anything about the 4 months I actually had full parental rights to my son where she (at the advice of her attorney) refused to let me see him (a felony). What makes the court care now that I only have visitation rights? Hell, they would just let her attorney create the amended stipulations, the judge would sign off on it, and I would be in the same exact boat I'm in now.

Father's rights I only have the right to pay, pay, pay. Thats the only right I have. Other than that, I have no rights. NONE, ZIP, ZILCH, NADA.

It's for this very reason that the city in which I live has a lot of fathers who opt for welfare, or disability, or cash under the table jobs..such as TAXI driver.
That way, their paychecks cannot be garnished at all.
Those who do pay, it is based on their income. That does seem like a lot Wukky.

I feel for you WUK. I thought my support payments were bad, having to live off $200 a week, but thats at around $13.50/hr.

Don't blame the courts though. They follow a standard formula for figuring support payments. It's tough, I know. The hardest part about support obligations is that it cripples your finances so much that it makes it hard to be able to live your life as a parent when you do get visitation with your children.

On top of paying out support, you then are expected to foot out extra cash to have them over or do things with them. It's a no win situation in my opinion, and the children usually are neglected as most parents spend part of child support on frivolous things.

The only options I can see for you WUK is learning to live at the very bottom, finding a second job or working under the table. You definitely need to share rent with someone at that income level - that or live in a tent or cardboard box.

Good luck with it and if you need someone to rant to, give me a holler.

Wuk, I'm really sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. And you have every right to rant. It is really, really unfair that you should have to pay that much support and not even get to see and talk to your son. I don't know what your visitation agreement is with the courts, but I can't beleive that she's getting away with not fulfilling her part of it. My experience has been that if one parent is ordered to drive halfway across the country to meet the other parent so many times a year to fulfill visitation (or whatever the situation) then they'd better do it, that's not taken lightly here. Same with phone calls, etc. They take visitation violations pretty serious in my area.

So in the meantime, my advice is that your second job right now needs to be either looking for a better paying job or a second job. I can tell that you are a hard worker, you have fantastic communication skills and you are very intelligent. Whether or not it's 'under the table' or whatever is certainly a factor to consider. My brother is going through the same sort of situation, although his kids are older and instead of child support, per say, he is paying for their college educaiton. He recently lost his job as an IT Specialist, but within two weeks of pounding the pavement he found a job out of town until something better comes along....as a brick-layer. It's a crappy job, hard work, but it's paying his bills and taking care of the kids.

Don't sell yourself short, wuk. I know that you will overcome this, but it may take a lot of really hard work. Even if you can just make enough at a second job to get the ball rolling on a lawyer I think that it would be worth it.

So don't give up, be diligent!

Rush

My boss is currently going through some child support issues. His ex-wife thinks he makes more than he does so she is basically auditing him though the courts.

Maybe you could find one lawyer who can help you pro bono. Also, if your ex has done anything illegal, file a police report. It is free to file police reports.

Also, apply for welfare. Seeing as how you aren't a dead beat (you work) you could make good use of t hat money to get back on your feet.

I feel for you WUK...

I recently finalized my own divorce. It's a terrible thing to go through especially if you come out the loser.

My ex split on me completely, after initially got out of the house, leaving with no worldly possesions and 2 infants to care for.

When it came time for divorce I not only had to pay the court costs, but pay a lawyer to represent him as he had to be served by publication.

I could have been the terrible ex like yours has been... I tried to be as fair as possible... his support was set at about $75 a week, for two kids, plus his part of the court costs. (it isn't an option not to set child support in my state) So far I haven't seen anything--which m akes me mad because during our relationship he insisted that he was only looking out for the kiddos.

So both sides get screwed... there's the ones like you that want to do the right thing, and can't, and then the ones who don't do the right thing and villify everyone else who tries to.

$8.50 an hour. That's pitiful.
I make over $40 an hour without having gone to college.
It's time that you start a true career. If you can't do it there, move. Work for an electrician or plumber for cash. Get a real job as an apprentice. Utilities all over are hiring off the street for $18/hr±.

I don't feel sorry for anyone not making money here in the US. YOU just have to get off your posterior and take charge of your own life.

reply to post by whatukno



is it the same in USA as it is in AU, that if you get another job and earn extra $, you will be assessed on that also?

how are you going to manage on that amount of money?

At first I thought, get a second job but if that is means tested then I am not sure what to suggest...

Originally posted by wookiee
I don't feel sorry for anyone not making money here in the US. YOU just have to get off your posterior and take charge of your own life.

yes but the more you earn, the more child support you pay. The amount he is paying is probably the amount assessed for his income.

might be a no win situation, perhaps cash job might help but big risks with that..

not just with taxation dept but if he is injured at work, he is not covered.





[edit on 16-10-2008 by Thurisaz]

People make divorce more difficult.

The law favors women, and even though I am one, I have to say it's really unjust. It's actually funny because not one Woman's Activist will bitch about that, but anything else that comes CLOSE to offensive, they're up-in-arms about.

Seriously, if YOU'RE the one who wanted the divorce, then there should be no "alimony". That's the stupidest thing I've ever herd of in my life. If women believe they can be independent, then okay, go get a job and live on your own. Why do you need your ex's financial support? Either be independent or don't get a divorce. In the end, men get ROYALLY SCREWED. By accepting alimony, that's just a hypocrisy on equal-rights. "women are just as equal as men in the work-force", okay, then why can't you earn as much money? Why do you need that check from your ex-husband every week? But their answer is always the same, "well I don't earn as much so i should get a fair-share..." REALLY? A FAIR-SHARE? NO. Sharing is something MARRIED COUPLES get. You're not together anymore, so what's the deal? Either complain to Washington D.C. about how accepting alimony is discrimination to women in the work-force, or, maybe you should have thought about all of this BEFORE you decided on leaving.

Granted i haven't experienced it, but I observed as child, forced to learn the horrors which are in the fine-print of this lovely arrangement we call DIVORCE.

I'm very curious as to who is expected to get by on 8.50 an hour in the world of today. Unless you're living somewhere at no cost. Or you have next to nothing I don't see this being possible. I made that type of money right out of highschool. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just astounded.

If you don't mind, where do you work, and what do you do?

I know this is a little off-topic, but the divorce rate really is out of control.

When you get married it's supposed to be:

* For Richer or Poorer

* In sickness and in Health

* The Good Times and the Bad

* AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE


.....that means:

* if you go ABSOLUTELY BANKRUPT, stay together.
* if one of you is sick with the common-cold or in a coma, stay loyal.
* if your partner cheats on you; work it out.
* Good Times and Bad: marriage can be a battle, so fight to protect it, end of story.
* if you just don't love each other anymore... oh well, you made a promise; should have racked your brains before rushing OR if you're married a long time and just fell OUT of love with each other, AGAIN, OH WELL, work it out somehow!
* no matter what, this PROMISE is LIFE-LONG.
* and for those of you who are religious: "Let no man divide what God has brought together"

....I know it's easy for me to say because I haven't been married, but it's just a shame how some people get sucked into society and forget to simply keep their promises.

reply to post by ReiSethimus


I work in a crappy hotel in downtown Detroit.

This part is no one's fault but mine, I have gone from hotel to hotel working the same dead end front desk jobs most of my life. So after the divorce I had to start over yet again.

So the deal is that I have to go to one building and pay money I don't have to get a hearing to beg to get my child support lowered. If they grant it great, but there is a chance that they won't and I will be stuck paying this.