Star and Flag Please...Important information inside...

Being a member here for a short time I have come to notice the redundancy of some posts, the idiocy of some claims, and the repugnant arrogance of some comments. So I took to time out to come up with a solution that would help the community who has vital information and thoughts to offer, as well as my cause. Being mostly an ATS viewer/contributor, I began to look at the name of the site I am at so much: AboveTopSecret. But what does it mean to be "above top secret?" I would suppose that anything out of the norm that is not openly discussed in society...providing vital information that one would need to understand various factal views of the world today. So without further ado, I present to the entire ATS/BTS Community the effort I have went through to help out:

The-Cow-Dung-O-Meter

That's right! With this revolutionary device, if you are at odds with information being presented, you no longer have to embarass yourself here. Simply turn on your Cow-Dung-O-Meter and it will instantly let you know if the information presented is worthy of your valuable time.

But wait, that's not all! If you order now, I will throw in a second Cow-Dung-O-Meter at no additional cost...That's TWO for the price of ONE!!! And if you act within the next 24 hours, I will throw in the revolutionary Cow-Dung-A-Tron! This additional attachment will instantly reach out through your internet connection and slap the dog-mess out of the individual claiming dis-info and spreading random idiocy.

So you get two Cow-Dung-O-Meter's and one Cow-Dung-A-Tron for the unbelievably low price of $19.95.

All proceeds will go to the Help Send A Redneck to Skool College Fund

Does that measure the level of Cow Dung in increments of "crock"? For instance;

DING!!!! This submission has been rated at 2.3 Crocks of Cow Dung

I certainly hope that is the convention used.....we wouldn't want to be running around measuring Cow Dung in something silly, like smoots.

Oh....if I order now, will they arrive in time for the holidays?

Bloody ridiculous post. While I share the sentiment that we must rid ATS of the hoaxing crap, this post does absolutely nothing to help and in fact only adds to the pile of steaming crap that you are talking about.

No star, no flag and lots of

Right you are MrPenny. Crocks is the now standard measurement of COW DUNG...Please allow 3-4 weeks for delivery. Thanks for your interest in my product.

@ Kryties - Did you happen to notice the forum I posted this in? I have to dissagree...while you believe that this in no way helps out anything, I have invented what I feel is a must for all the members of ATS/BTS. If you're not going to place an order, please find someone else to poke.

Was this supposed to be funny?

If your device truly worked, it would have prevented you from posting this garbage.

Now your worthless thread is buried in the Jokes, Puns, & Pranks section of BTS. How does it feel to know about 4 people will see your attempt at humor?

How embarrassing.

I tried using your cow-dung-o-tron-of-toxic-waste and all i found was this thread...weird.

I DID however think up this wonderous definition of below top secret that just might allow threads like this a definition.

Below Top Secret - Anything inside the norm that is openly discussed in private...providing worthless information that no one would need to understand limited views of the world today

What's the matter with some of you????

That was funny and I'm ordering two sets.

"Send a redneck to skool fund " is good too.

Roper

Some people just don't get it.

"Hey what's this thread here in the Jokes and Pranks forum?"
"Oh man, this guy must be serious about this! What a waste of ATS time!"
"Oh Gawd!!!!"


Seriously people, what are you so worked up about?

It's a joke. Thus the jokes and pranks forum.

I found it funny. Almost as funny as peoples serious reaction to this thread.