posted on Oct, 6 2008 @ 11:00 PM
I'm not one for introductions to a lot of strangers that I'm never going to meet or share a meal with, and I do not mean that in a bad way, I am
just uncivilized and cautious from experience-I am here for the UFO/ALIEN/PARANORMAL/TERRORISM/MENTAL COGNITION/AND WRITING segments-mostly.
I found ATS while tracing a memory. I do not remember which memory. And...Up until NOW I thought there were 10,000 or so members (it just *seemed*
that way) and because of this impression of mass crowding, I felt it was alright then not to say hallo.
I am disappointed in myself that I do not understand the introduction phenomena to know what to say or what is expected. At the rare times that I do
have a insiders glimpse to know the basics of a *hallo*-my voice tends to be caught against the time proven reprocussions of disclosure.
Yet, 500 is cozy enough that I ought to say hi. Rather, wondering if I should and did not, would have surely through experience, sapped at my limited
mental resources, until I did. :-). And I could be using those bytes for making breakfast! So...hi.hi.hi.hi.hi.hi.HI.
So, neat one of a kind kind of place....
I endured through 40 (or so) pre-quarter class "introductions" at community college and it has always been the same. I did not graduate. I got
Intros commonly goes something like thisdid I mention I am long typed?-opposed to speaking, which I do not much)
..."Um....*not that I know why it's any of your business*(in my head), I'm such and such"-sit down.
Then my instructor draws the whole class's attention RIGHT AT ME.
As if there were something more that I should say. I do not know what to say. I (over time) wander away and ponder the meaning of the exchange and
arriving barely nowhere with it, a new class begins, and the dreaded introductions repeat.
I don't fricken know *&@ cats?!?
A little that I KNOW about myself.
I am an adoptee abductee. I do not 'like' anything. I have been robbed of everything that I may have grown to know and experiences pre planned to
achieve. That is life, baby! Busts out violin. I was adopted with the purpose of abduction/concealment, according to hindsight+who+who
from+demographics+surrounding+occurances/over time-and man are they getting good. I sometimes in my way try to help others, and others who have come
forward have certainly helped me. It is a speak-duck-dodge-whisper-pout-query-tip-try again sort of way.
In my case
I doubt there is a file-but I am working towards it. *In a nutshell* T.M.I.
When I am not raising kids, 1 widowed-17, 1 abroad-14, I am getting harrassed from job to job. Always at trial time-even though I do not know the
trial is going on. And whoops there it is. Never mind a career. Not sure which part of what I am percieved to know is the clincher for the funder and
his/her goons-I am always targeted for a take down. Good attendance, Good performance. Good attitude. It makes the raising of kids...harder to be the
interest of unidentified fly-by coworkers.
I trudge through the ups and downs and ponder which part of my world is responsible for which part of my world.
I gather that have seen too much (of *somethings*) and it is far too much of a way out there recounting of which what I might think it is to get to a
sentence or a paragraph of disclaimer. Forest for the trees.
Day by day, I chip away. One aspect on a whim today, and another forty likely tomorrow, all in the quest of myself clearly, and then get sidetrackked,
and then return. I am always looking for the answer-to myself. I often seem to be everybody's oddity.
Rek was a friend my first family used to visit. As a toddler I thought he was all the rave. Thus the nick, HugmyRek, in his memory.
Considering myself introduced.