So I assume I have finally gone insane. Those that know me on here know I am a rational person. I never make wild claims or anything or the sort. 3 months ago I had acquired a new job whilst still taking classes part time. I probably should have noticed something was wrong at the beginning of that job. I probably should have known things were going wrong when I began experimenting with the occult.

Anyway, so it began, the new job. I noticed that every time I was behind the counter doing my work I noticed that the same song would play in a loop on the radio station. I don't know if it was a satellite station or perhaps a radio station, either way it had no commercials. Now when I was on the other side of the counter. It was different random songs. I guess stupidly I brushed it off as just a "normal hallucination" as if people might get brain glitches like this. Of course the other people heard different songs, or occasionally nothing as it was quite noisy in the bakery.

A couple months later I began noticing my verbal structure was a bit off when talking to people. I think I write rather well. But when I'm talking it's like my brain wants to use too many big words (I'm considered a genius by standard testing procedures). This was never a problem before. But it's like I can't word things....I can't find the right words. I also noticed while working I would forget who ordered what, seconds after they ordered. As in I would make something, and 2 seconds later I wouldn't remember giving it to the person of if I even made it. What made things more frustrating is people thought I was "retarded" or something. I have a big ego when it comes to my intelligence. It seems to be getting worse whatever it is. But don't hold your breath, there is more to this dilemma of mine.

Friday night I was awakened at 3 am by loud strides in the attic and someone moving things.

Fast forward yet again, to last night. I had nothing to do for the weekend so on Saturday night I played 10, yes, that's right, 10 hours or so of World of Warcraft. When I had quit and was undressing to get into bed I heard what sounded like a tuning fork hitting metal in my head. Then I began to hear voices, yes, voices. I ran downstairs completely perplexed as to what to do. I had never heard voices before. I was half expecting there to be a 6 ft. tall bunny rabbit waiting to greet me down there. Must we regress to the younger years of such films like Donnie Darko. The voices are hard to describe. It sounded like phones ringing, people talking and lasers all at once. Almost like some epic war scene set in some Stephen Spielberg movie. At one point I even spoke up demanding them to stop with the noise....Whatever "them" may be. I almost began to cry. I knew no one would believe me so I took my medication which consists of sleeping pills and anti-psychotics. I was never diagnosed with schizophrenia and am considered rational and non-delusional by my psychiatrist. The anti-psychotics were for this tactile sensation I use to get when I was 16, which felt like someone touching my hand. I later concluded and so did others that it was nerve mis-firings. Yet I still take them out of habit. I went up to my bed. The 3 atrocious flights of stairs. I couldn't sleep. There were too many noises one of which sounded like a computer loading. Which is a new one. 20 minutes or so later the noises stopped. I don't know if the medication had anything to do with it.

Needless to say I am a bit scared. I am hiding what is going on to all my friends, even my psychiatrist. I don't know how to bring it up in casual conversation. The reason I am posting this is to ask if this could be anything other than insanity and perhaps an awakening of some sort? The night before this all happened I was doing astral projection and found I could actually see through my astral eyes. I also felt a warmth go up my back. I do not know if the two are connected. Also I do not know if this is normal but if a radio station comes in a bit weak, I can change the station by placing my hand over the radio. I also have very good hearing and can hear things that take place in the physical that other people can't. Such as sirens a town away.

So you there you do, and I am hoping for feedback. Thanks to anyone who cares.... :-\

Also I have since quit my job...

Get to a docter man. I knew a kid that was 100% normal...4.0, smart as all hell. One day he began hearing things, the next he forgot who he was, and lost all of his memories. He is completely diffrent now and has been diagnosed with skitzofrenia (sp?)...get to a docter.

[edit on 5-10-2008 by goldbomb444]

It is most certainly affecting your life.. you definitely need to talk to someone about it before it gets worse.

Originally posted by goldbomb444
Get to a docter man.

I quite agree with this post. Get yourself to a hospital, ask your psychiatrist, whatever you do make sure you get help and ASAP. If this is the onset of a mental disorder it needs to be diagnosed immediately.

well it certainly is a disquieting thing to go through, i can personally tell you that i know for a fact that sanity is a horrible thing to have to pray for. all i can tell u for sure is not to read into the radio thing with your hand. if a station is staticy, any person getting closer to it will make it come in better, that works for all people.

spend as much time as you can away from any electronic devices; tv, computer.
these things are not anywhere near 100% efficiency, the electricity put into them is lost through the electronic components on the boards, the tubes, and other parts. your frontal lobe is like a lightning rod on a high hill, attracting electrical energy discharged from these things. the electrical frequencies used today are incompatible with your bodily frequencies, and can collect en masse inside your brain. this happens to me, and i must go into the forest. in the forest, you become grounded to the frequencies of the planet, where you originate from///

find ways to let the stress leave your body; exercise, meditate.
go swimming
dont smoke pot
dont do things like lsd

all feelings are emotions

E-Motions

Energy-in-Motion

when the energy becomes suppressed, it cannot leave through normal channels, and must exit through irregular channels. you may find yourself clenching your fists and jaw excessively/ these two areas are negative energy arteries/ find ways to let the energy in motion leave your body through some kind of expression; physical, mental, elemental, artistically, or other///

i too have had things like this happening to me.

work to release this energy, not hold it in.

when you hold in or suppress, the energy moves deeper, into the roots.

good luck

Insanity is too broad of a term to really mean anything. What people don't understand, they fear and find the need to judge with messed up terms.

I think a major part of the problem is screwing with the occult. Astral projection is usually considered to be a lower realm of higher consciousness that includes many negative energies. You are probably being bombarded by these unpleasent entities. I'm not at all an expert, but remember when I was younger I had a horrible time with paranoia, delusions, etc that in retrospect had to do with negative beliefs that caused fear. To my extremely limited understanding of consciousness, fear leads to the attachment of negative energies.

What we focus on expands. What helped me to get through my troubled times was basically to stop focusing on anything that I could consciously or subconsciously consider to be negative. Stop dabbling with astral projection. Start praying/meditating to whatever higher power you might believe in, even if it's just your higher-self.

Realize, and I know it's easier said then done, that nobody can control you without your consent. Sure things and people of all realms can influence you, but you are only in total control of yourself, period. This doesn't mean just focusing on controling yourself will make the noises go right away, but in time they will be less drastic and frequent until you don't even hear them.

Get some sun time in. It helps to normalize your hormones and biochemistry. Take the mp3 player filled with some good vibrations and go for a walk. Your diet can lead to all sorts of ailments, too. Junk food lacks the neccessary essential nutrients needed for proper psychological functioning. Try some molecularly distilled fish oil.

Ah, and pride is a big negative component, too. I still have problems with it, but not nearly as much as I did. If you are smart, then it will show. If it doesn't it's your responsibility to learn as to why. Pride can actually turn someone from being gifted, to not so smart. It did with me! I have a saying "pride is the anti-gift". It can turn you against yourself! The way I have tried to understand it is that gifted people use more of their right-brain. This part has a more direct link to the subconscious. I think it houses your conscience, too. When people continuously act out of accordance with conscience, like being prideful and judging alot, then your subconscious sabotoges and cripples you! I've got no proof whatsoever except my personal experiences. If I am in a negative mood, my perceptive abilities are greatly reduced.

I also had similar experiences with memory problems. It once again has to do with worrying, pride, and just general negative emotions. Also, not being in the present moment, so to speak. Basically worrying about the future, and resenting the past. I got a book that is almost like spirituality for dummies, but it worked miracles for myself. It's Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". You might want to check it out.

Good luck and no your not insane, just going through issues..

B

spend as little time as possible near electronic devices. the energy they throw off can cause pain, the tuning fork noise, and possibly the hallucinations.
you are becoming aware, sensitive. you are melding with your world. you can hear noise a town away? go into the woods; the forest. mother nature is a trickster, but she is also your sister and she can help you. the frequencies of the woods can drain the frequencies of electricity from your frontal lobe.

i know this sounds crazy, but sometimes you must ask your "insanity" for some kind of insane help. in the end you will see you're not really going insane at all.
Be careful. doing nothing may be the biggest mistake you could make.

objects in motion tend to remain in motion, and so does energy.
the energy you could have awakened inside yourself through something like remote viewing cannot be stopped. if you attempt to force these things away, to suppress them, you will have a psychosis.

e-motion
Energy in Motion

stop going on your computer

find ways to release the energy trapped inside

do not fight

everything happens for a reason, even "bad" things. just because you cannot see beyond your perspective, does not mean there is not more going on outside of it.

Schizophrenia can be a gift, as long as you don't get the "paranoid" part. Be sure to stay grounded and take your experiences with a grain of salt. If you allow it to scare you, then you're in for a rough ride and may want to see a doctor. Otherwise you can observe and learn much from the experience without it affecting you in an adverse manner.